Sunday, April 30, 2006
I'm about to head into the witness protection program to get away from my father so things may change around here ;)
And yes, I was mocked by a certain someone *cough* Renee *cough* for having my lioness Emma up on the blog sooooooo, here's how helpful she has been with the taxes. Guess which file she is lying on?
I am heading to bed early hoping to be up by noon tomorrow so Bob and I can have fun running about in the sun. I'll tell you about the weekend, the books bought and if I manage to make the tax deadline.
The excitement might just do you in.
Friday, April 28, 2006
I can't find my copy of Kresley Cole's book that everyone has been talking about. I really wanted to start that and have been half-heartedly looking for it because, well, taxes.
I cleared off my desk last night and I think I have them almost done. I have to call the government and ask a question - that's going to be oodles of fun tonight! *automated voice* Your call is important to us, your wait time is now 342 days, please continue to hold so you don't lose your place. Ugh. Please, please, please don't let it be like that!!!
Oh and I was just heading to bed and stumbled across this:
C'mon!! Could she be more precious? She's cuddled up next to a little stuffed chipmunk that Amber and Emma got from Kitty Klause (shut up). Amber normally beats the hell out of the thing and sits and caterwalls over it to let the household know that the Queen has beaten back the peasant.
Emma apparently has decided to 'love him and squeeze him and call him George'
Thursday, April 27, 2006
I have a baby brother and by baby I mean he is five years younger than me so he's 30 - oops, he just turned 31 yesterday.
I have read somewhere and yeah, I should look it up, that children who have a 5 year age difference between them grow up more like only children. Everything about my childhood suddenly made sense when I read this.
I may be the oldest and Billy the youngest but because we never went to the same school or went to high school together we were two separate entities growing up. I always knew I felt isolated but I thought it was just me. I never told anyone about the panic attacks I had as a child because I didn't understand what was happening and well, there are too many reasons. Since I was so much in my own body I didn't really notice those around me and Billy only really registered when he was in trouble and trouble followed that boy.
All the same, I have been grateful that Billy didn't have panic attacks or know the kind of fear that I had lived with. I figured his cross to bare was studying his ass off and then freezing on an exam. Billy also has a gullibility that can have him turned inside out by people who are supposed to be his friends. The good news is that Billy seems to have worked through most of this and at Christmas when he got a new job he just became a much happier person.
Now, I'm pretty sure I have mentioned that I don't *do* planes. I think I have traced my fear back to the plane that crashed say around '82. It hit a bridge and ended up in the water and people were trying to get to the shore and we could actually see people dying on the TV.
I was 12.
Since then I have believed that if I ever get on a plane it will crash. I recently learned about President Abraham Lincoln and his belief that he would die a violent death after looking up famous people who had panic attacks. This just seemed to cement my belief even further and I have decided it must be that one thing that I am not supposed to do and lucky for me, I'm okay with it. So's Bob.
I don't normally talk about flying with people because most people don't get it. My mother and father think it's ludicrous and most people try to talk me into how safe it is etc. But they are not seeing my point. I'm not saying flying is unsafe. I'm saying it's not safe for me.
So where am I going with this? *mumbling* Damned if I know.
Actually I do know I just can't figure out how to explain it without writing an essay (too late!)
Okay. Billy's new job involves flying. Lots and lots of flying which Billy expressed some concern about because he had never been on a plane. Now, even in my own fear I will never impose that fear onto someone else. For example, my mother loves flying so I don't worry about her when she gets on a plane. Bob also had to fly a few times before he negotiated a 'no fly' contract (when I told him I would never fly he looked at me and said 'you can do that?' - hence, he did ;)) but I never said anything negative about flying because at the time I thought Bob didn't mind it.
Billy's first week back from the states and he calls and gets the answering machine. The message is clear, concise and to the point.
'Hey, I'm alive and home. Cindy, if anyone ever tells you you can handle flying don't believe them. I could barely stand it. Love you, bye.'
I'm thinking what a cool brother I have that he would look out for his sister.
Well, the night before last we finally connected by phone and he has been on a plane 6 times now. He was leaving for his 7th in 4 hours. We were talking and I said something about how he should get some sleep. He just chuckled and said, 'no hope'. I asked why and discovered that Billy may be just as afraid of flying as I am.
I wasn't in any way prepared for that.
Bob said Billy couldn't be as afraid of flying as I am because he has done it. Yes. He has. But, it takes about 6 beers.
It didn't hit me until last night. Suddenly I am in a panic and worried that I am going to lose my brother. Bob said this morning that I was quite upset (I was half asleep in bed) and worried that the last few phone calls could be someone trying to call me about Billy. I remember reciting a eulogy in my dream.
I'm not sure what it all means. I just know that whenever Billy has expressed a fear to me I tend to take it into myself and have anxiety on his behalf. When I was going to the Anxiety Clinic the doctor said that that was impossible (I asked if I could get worked up on someone elses behalf but I'm not sure I explained it right). That was when I realized this guy could treat Anxiety but he didn't have the first hand knowledge of it.
For some reason, if I know Billy is scared, I get scared and maybe that is why I don't share with him my fears or what can set off a panic attack. Afterall, they can be hereditary and I didn't want to trigger anything in Billy but maybe, Billy and I have isolated ourselves from each other in the hopes of protecting the other from what they are going through.
Flying for Billy doesn't sound like it is going to end anytime soon and I am a bit sick about it. I think I'll have to talk to my doctor or Bob about how to talk with Billy about what he is going through. My fear is that I will somehow make it worse by talking too much or not enough about it.
That said, my brother is one funny guy. I'm pretty sure if I were the one in the situation he'd just look at me and yell, 'suck it up!!'
So how about you guys and your siblings? I have often considered myself the black sheep of the family but then I have always coloured Billy with that black brush also. We are like these two monkey wrenches that showed up in our parent's lives and to this day they don't know where the hell we came from. I was shocked a while back when Billy said that *we* had an awesome childhood. Methinks the boy has bumped his head.
I have always been curious about people who are close to their family. *snort* Wait until I do a post about my mother. We are so different that there are days being in the same room is obviously painful for her. Meanwhile I get a evil thrill in making my mother uncomfortable.
Hey, I live to annoy ;)
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
An author named Christopher Anderson has written an unauthorized biography of Barbra Streisand. I have never understood how anyone can write something that does not have approval because how do you know the author has any facts. Then again, anyone can lie so is a autobiography any better than an unauthorized biography.
What made me laugh though was this:
In his list of sources, Anderson includes 27 biographies and other books
relating to Streisand.
Uh, yeah, wouldn't that be called a work of fiction?
Oh I know, I had a few dreams about Streisand and I decided to also reference those. Also, I have interviewed every waiter that has ever been within ear shot and let me tell you!! Hey, lookit that, my university edjumacation in History just paid off. Wow, all that for this little tidbit of crap.
I want a refund!
Maybe I could become rich as a writer.
I'll just write an unauthorized biography of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and I'll use all the magazine articles I have ever read about them as source material - it's gold!! Just in case you're counting, that would be zero - oh wait, I have read a few but I'm not wiggy about these people. They have to go to the bathroom just like everyone else and for me, that's what I have to boil life down to sometimes.
Monday, April 24, 2006
So I rented four movies before Easter and finally finished them all last night. Like I said, the brain has been acting like it's seeing shiny objects every thirty seconds so sitting to watch a movie was difficult.
This one is going to be a barn burner folks. I have no clue if I will be coherent or not so, you've been warned. Having a hard day focusing? Get thee gone! This'll only make you think the world has gone to hell in a handbasket.
First up. WTF was Good Night and Good Luck all about.
Yeah, yeah, I *know* what it was about but, could the movie have been more boring. Why in the world would George Clooney be nominated for this film? It was pretty much a mini-biography and yes, I understand that there was a fight for constitutional rights and yes, I understand that TV became a medium of entertainment but, I would also argue that I have seen my fair share of real life on the boob tube in the other room. Yes, there is a question of 'what are journalists really doing for us today' but couldn't there also be the backlash question of 'was he the first to *show* his political side to the world' and hence the skewed views we get depending on which broadcaster you are watching?
For such a boring movie it brought up many questions but, I have been asking myself those kind of questions for years so, welcome to the party. Maybe if the movie had been in colour or was that in itself a political statement by, damned if I know who, that there really is a black and white which of course, I totally can't subscribe to.
Next to be bludge - discussed, Capote.
I'm not sure I can even talk about this without coming off as a total moron because even though I had heard the name I didn't know anything about him. Phillip Seymour Hoffman was, of course, brilliant but what was I supposed to take away from this film?
Could someone purchase me a point!!
Okay, I will Wiki Capote and see if I can get my thoughts in a bunch, er, row.
Annnd, I'm back.
I got nothing. I guess if I had ever read the book In Cold Blood I would have a basis of factual knowledge I could work from. The film basically follows Capote while he interviews the killers (and the movie suggests he was more interested in one than the other). Now, if you are to believe the film (and I guess the writings of Capote) the killer confessed to him and if what he said could even be remotely believed then I would say that it proves that evil just exists. I think the film also suggests that Capote could have done more to help these two with their trials but he needed an ending for his book so he moped and whined to his friends that he wish they would just hang already.
So again, a history of a man that I just didn't get.
Movies I did *get*. The Aviator, although I am so not a, what's his name?, Titanic guy fan but, I felt it showcased OCD in a time when people just didn't know what it was. Also, the Russell Crowe film where he had hallucinations - I think it shows the world that mental illness just is and if it can be in some way demystified and controlled that people with mental illnesses can have so much potential. The scene that broke my heart was at the end when he is old and receiving an award you get one more glimpse from his mind and there you find all his *friends* and they haven't aged a bit. I loved that and I cried. Edited: I have to stop Wiki people - his hallucinations were never visual which makes the movie much more fiction than real life.
I guess we can throw a WTF!? in here to follow that edit.
How does this tie into the Oscars? Well, GNAGL and Capote were both winners and I should know better from years previous but, it looked like there were some excellent films for me to watch. *buzzer* wrong!
You're just itchin' in your seat. Does this have anything to do with romance books?
It has to do with HBO's Big Love about a family with one father, three wives and crap, I think 7 kids but, it's the pretty kind of polygamy. Nice houses, wives of age, children out in the world getting an education etc. and quite frankly, I've been glued to the TV.
I can safely say after watching six episodes that polygamy is something that I will never understand. I'm still going to watch the show because maybe it will teach me something but, watching a show about a polygamous family that is fairly sane still has me scratching my head.
Why in the world would any sane woman want this? I totally get why a man would want it but why would a woman want this? Of course, this is assuming that the woman is of age and has the right to make her own decisions.
In the show, the first wife was married 11 years and diagnosed with cancer when her husband 'found his way' again (they were both raised polygamists - I think, I know he was) and then she 'found the way' and they brought in a second wife. Third wife was the babysitter but it has come out that she wanted to join the family and the family wanted her to join. Still *shudder*.
I have seen the reality of polygamy (only on shows where polygamists have allowed Primetime or 20/20 into their homes) and it is ugly and that is addressed - sideways but still. I guess if the Sopranos (which I can't watch) can be a hit then a show like this will have an audience and yeah, I'm one of the audience because I'm just too curious to know ...
Whadaya mean I set a world record for the slowest reading of one book? I mean, things came up. I had to get quotes for moving and roofing and boxes, oh my! I started our taxes and should be finished sometime over the next few days because procrastination has set in. Okay, more like my horrible filing system has failed me and I will have to muck about in paper work for a solid day.
Then there was the doctor.
This time, it was all me and Lord have mercy, I think my doctor has decided to run every test known to mankind on me. Now, normally, have at it but, I am so deep into nocturnal mode right now that one of the testing labs closes at 4pm and all last week I couldn't get back there in time! They open at 7:30am but I know there is a line-up and well, my test is of a delicate nature and I don't want witnesses for the exchange of, uh, stuff. *snort* Really, could I be more subtle? Next, I'll be drawing you all a diagram of my spleen - TMI? - no really, there could be more but I'll spare us all ;)
There was this book I was reading - Oh, right! - The Duke by Gaelen Foley which I liked very much except it seemed really slow.
Maybe my mind is just too wired to read a meaty historical with political slants running throughout. In the end, politics go over my head. Well, no. I just get bored and we all know where bored leads me.
Cindy Blurb - Hawkscliffe is this horribly noble man who loved a married woman who got herself killed. The husband of said woman decides to use Hawkscliffe's love of his wife for revenge on his nephew.
Belinda Hamilton (can't believe I remember her name) has become the object of obsession for the above mentioned nephew who has her father sent to debtors prison, has her thrown out of her home and then has her fired from her job all in an effort to get her to marry him. Whada prince. While barely scraping by she is raped by the warden of the prison and then decides to thwart 'the nephew' by becoming a courtesan.
Courtesan and Duke team up to destroy 'the nephew' with a contract for a couple of months and no sex because you know, the Duke is above all that. No. No, he's not.
I'd grade this book a B because I enjoyed everything and I am a sucker for women who have had their reputations ruined. I have heard people say that Foley's writing is purple but I just didn't see it. Dramatic at times but that's the point of a romance. Purple prose to me means 'purple soldier of love' or 'watery grave' (yeah, I'm horrible with examples). There was none of that so all in all, I would like to read another book of hers but I think I better wait until my brain stops playing ping pong.
Hmmm, what was wrong with the book? Nothing really. Just a kind of 'meh' feeling at times which I can't really explain because that's usually my own quirks playing in there. I did find the love scenes to be uninspired but then, I like darker emotions so that's probably what it is when I say it's just me. I was also going to mention the ending but I don't really know what bothered me about it except that maybe a Duke couldn't marry a known courtesan. In the historical notes area, Foley mentions a couple of courtesans who actually married and one married a Viscount so I should really just get over myself.
As a complete aside, c'mon you knew it had to be there somewhere. I was weirded out by Hawkscliffe's rage and punishment of the warden. I'm not sure if I have been watching too many 48 Hour Mysteries or American Justice or what but I really felt like I was in a raging man's mind. Now, he didn't kill him but did send him on a convict ship. I would have to know the laws from that time much better but maybe rape was not a crime. If so, then I am glad there were men who viewed it as such. Still, there was that part of my brain that asked about the morality of what he was doing. Was this how men have come to murder their friends (I'm thinking of the last weeks show about a man and woman who killed her husband in order to be together. At least that is what the thoughts are. The problem is, they never saw each other again. The brutality of the killing was beyond what I am becoming inured of by watching these shows but I swear I could see hunks of this guys skull and face. It was truly gruesome and I was left wondering why. The why just didn't work for me so maybe that is why I had a problem with this scene.
Hey, and let's face it. I have read many books that skate the edge of any form of justice. I guess if I know the hero is an assassin (Anne Stuart) then I am aware of what he is capable of but having this morally superior Duke go and beat the crap out of this guy with a lead pipe - well, I had a tough time with it. I understand the motivation because quite frankly, I don't know that many men understand rape and what it truly does to a woman. So obviously Hawkscliffe is the hero that we would want in our corner to fight for women's rights. It was just a quirk of my own that popped up unexpectedly because I have read many retribution scenes before and not blinked an eye but for some reason, this one had me feeling uncomfortable.
Where were we, ah right, and that is my uninspired review of the book.
Edited : Blogger ate the first draft which is fine because this was the draft I wanted up but Kristie (J) was the first official poster telling me that this was one of her 'meh' books so I want to know which book everyone would recommend!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
I'm on the cusp of everything going rotten in the book I am reading. I keep wondering when the axe will fall and I mean, it has to. Too bad, because I was enjoying the growing friendship of the H/H and maybe, just maybe, I will be wrong but then, I don't see where the conflict can come in. Okay, yeah, a Duke can't marry a courtesan but, I *get* that.
Being a slow reader and easily distracted right now I'm not sure I want to read the next paragraph.
This was how one of my worst reading slumps began about 4 years ago now. I would read and get to the point where they were happy and had declared their love but, there was another 100 pages to read. I would get to the happy place and put the book down.
Hey, they're happy, why mess with it.
Must keep reading my book. Will not fall into a slump!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
When I get up in the uh, well, when I rise from my coffin or whatever I go and shower and dress, brush the ol' teeth, blow-dry the hair and put on the BO control. Afterwards I head to the kitchen where I pour a water and take my pill (effexor for my anxiety).
Now, there are days when I wake up and it's a race to get out the door because I want to see the Godkids before Bob gets home or Bob wants to get out and about so sometimes I forget to take my pill.
Those are bad days my friends.
I usually end up weepy and fidgety. The problem is I will be into a good cry when I realize why I am having a problem and I start kicking myself.
Since I have discovered that even one missed day can send me into a funky despair where I feel like the ooze coming from the tick on the flea, on the frog on a the bump on the log, I tend to do a mind check. There's a stop in action and a quick, 'did I take my pill' thought. Normally I'm okay and if I discover I did forget then I take it then.
We come to this afternoon when I dragged my pitiful self out of bed and did the normal ritual. I'm waiting for the 'flooring' guy to come and measure to do a quote for the carpets we have to put in. I'm sitting waiting and I get my mental thought for the day. I think to myself, yeah, I did that but, where's the glass of water I would have poured? So I go around the house looking to see if I have an ice water and I can't find one. Even so, I have a memory of taking my pill but I do sometimes get memories today that are from yesterday or the day before because I do self-talk when I take me pill. 'I've taken my pill.'
So there I am wondering about whether I have actually taken the pill today and I decide since there is no water, I must be having a memory from last night because I tend to hold the pill which is one of those capsules so I always rub my thumb along the crease.
Okay, this is starting to sound crazy but you'll soon see why.
I go and pour a coke and take a pill and put it out of my mind. The carpet guy shows and he's about an hour and when he leaves I start to get ready to head over to Sue's. I normally travel with drinks so I take my coke glass and head to the door and put it on the bookshelf to put on my shoes and lo and behold there stands an ice filled water glass.
I don't really panic because I figure they make me sleepy normally so I am probably just going to crash into the bed sooner or later but I did call TeleHealth Ontario - free service with registered nurses who can help you. By the way, wonderful service - I was so sick last year that Bob was saying he was going to take me to the hospital but moving even one inch had me puking and I begged him to just let me die. In the end he called telehealth and they told him to leave me the hell in the bed until it passed - Thank God!!
Anyways, turns out that my double dose doesn't exceed the maximum daily dose so everything should be A-okay. She said that I might get fidgety or anxious because of the overage (anxious!? WTF?) and my bloodpressure might go up but the body would adjust and all would be fine.
So far, I'm tired and want to crawl into bed. I can't say a sentence without it becoming a story (hence the length of blog) and I'm starting to get a headache. In all fairness that could be the taxes I am working on but it turns out we owe less than I thought. Wheeeee!!
I'm still reading The Duke.
At least I have stopped with the book hopping and have settled into one book.
Damn, now I have 'She's a maniac, manic on the floor and she's dancing like she never danced before' running through my head.
Eagle Nest Cam
I sat and watched this for about an hour (oookkkaaay, maybe 2) the other night while playing spider solitaire. I figured out that they play the daytime feed during the night hours so I am seeing what happened yesterday. Still, it's something that grabs onto my attention. I have cable internet so it's like watching TV but my dad, who loves all things eagle (I should post his two carvings he did since he retired) has dial up so it's patchier.
I love watching the male and female swap time on the nest and then I like seeing them roll the eggs. I have been in the forums to get some information because I am not knowledgeable about them so it's been fun seeing how excited people are about this pair.
Oh, and there are commercials but I haven't seen one yet. My father has.
Then I saw the Daily Show the other night and they had a segment on a town that is over run by Bald Eagles. Somehow I thought they were on the endangered list. I'll have to check later.
Oh, and I'm still reading the Duke and I like it ;)
AND, I'm feeling guilty about getting my taxes done because my information is needed so my dad can do his soooo, I have to get started. Now. Okay, later.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
I grab my cell phone (yes, Jay I own one but I never carry it) and it's in my purse. My friends know what's going on so it wasn't awful when Michelle turned and said my purse was ringing. 'Oh, right'. I wrestle it out of my purse, push the power button and say hello.
That's how often I use a cell phone.
So I leave the store in the mall and head to a bench and call Bob back and tell him my knobbish ways and he laughs. Then he tells me that he went to see a house with one of our silent partners and 'yeah, we bought a reno house'. (Just in case, reno means renovation because I know there are some who wondered about my house in Reno - I wish!)
'What do you mean?'
So then the story gets babbled out but I'm not really freaking because I trust Bob but, I think he may have had his arm twisted by the real estate agent. Then he says 'Oh and we got a sign back from Mansfield (our soon to be new home) and I think we should just accept it.' He tells me the sign back price and I tell him no, we agreed that it was worth 'X' amount and that is what we will counter. Bob's all, 'I don't want to lose this one.' and I'm all 'where's your gonads?' *snort* Nah, I wasn't that bad but, dude, man up!!
Later we meet up at the house and I'm still with my friends and I get called in to do signatures and write a check and I think I may have scared our agent who has been with us for years because Bob's not listening at one point and when I was *forced to* repeated myself it was at a near roar. I think poor John may have pee'd a little. Hey, I knew what was going on, I just needed to get back to my friends already.
So after all that we did get the (our) house and I apologized to John for being bitchy and being the good man he is he said he didn't notice anything.
BUT, I should tell you about this reno. There are 3 partners and one of the rules is that all partners have to agree and I'm normally the voice of reason. Well, two partners head off and look at a house I have no clue about and end up getting strong armed by the sales agent (not John) who says '5 offers are coming in today and you have to sign an offer now if you want this house and here is the price you should pay and this is what you can sell it for'. Now, *if* what this agent says is true, then we got a bargain even though we paid above listing price.
Ooops, another aside - my designer, decorator gene is in 'squeeing' Heaven and I can't stop decorating in my head. Course, decorating in my head is the easy part - implement and I'm wasted after an hour!
I should say we know (yeah, we snooped around) that there were other offers and we know she didn't lie or anything *but* she did say it would sell for say 560 when we were done with it. Since Tuesday we've done a bit of a tour of the area and I think that may be one hell of a stretch. I told Bob tonight that we'd list it with her and if she didn't get us that price she better be prepared to whip out her checkbook and pony up! He enjoyed that. I think he is always surprised when I can out bitch a bitch ;) I was going to tell the other partners the same thing but Bob asked me to behave.
I mean, I'm just joking.
Edited for some book info: I read George the Fiends' story by MJD and by that I mean I read this blurby thing that took about 30 minutes. I am half way through The Duke by Gaelen Foley and I'm enjoying it but now things are hectic and I'm not sure when I'll get back to it AND I picked up Fangs For The Memories and started it. This is so not like me. I can never read more than one book at a time but then, I'm overly excited.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
HEAR YE, HEAR YE!
As of this moment Bob and Cindy Smith are the proud owners of a new home! I know, we all thought it would never happen. Two of the pickiest people in the world, finally, worn down by the relentless search picked a house already!!
At the moment I am in a state of shock because I am looking around our house and thinking 'How in the world am I going to pack this stuff!!'
Movers. We're definitely hiring movers.
I'm going to see if I can attach a picture of the house WITH an inground concrete pool! It has a deep end but Bob seemed fine with that. We'll see how long that lasts ;)
So closing day for our new home (it was built in 58) is June 8th. Two sounds on closing day, 'Cannon Ball!!!' and Kersplash!!! After that, nothing should bother me even though drinking is not an option - damn meds.
As Bob and I like to say, it has 'great bones'. Let's hope there are no ghosts around to rattle 'em ;)
Okay, me sleepy.
I'll tell you guys more about the day (It was Tuesday) when I get a chance! The initial shock has worn off and Bob and I are like little kids talking about everything we want to do to our new home. For Bob and I, moving into a brand new home would be weird. I mean, how would you make it your own except for paint. Here, there are bookcases that need to be built, hardwood floors that need to be sanded and stained a nice dark sheen. That's just to start! I'll post pics as I do each room.
Now however, I would like to wish you and your family a safe and happy holiday however you plan to spend it!!! I decided it would be wasteful for me to cook my turkey so we're having burgers and potatoes tomorrow for dinner (oh, that'd be tonight) since it'll just be us.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
No, not that! But, now I need a moment. Hold please.
'kay I'm good.
I'm addicted to Spider. My problem is that everyone in the world has probably already played and finished with this game but, in my infinite boredom there on that 'bad' post day I decided to see what it is that gets my husband so distracted sometimes. Stop it. Although yeah, I'm all that - just, stop it!
Yeah, so I have stopped all blog hopping, blog writing, and well reading of any kind to stay up way beyond my physical limits to indulge in this new power that has taken hold of me. Bob's been playing since we bought this computer in August but I thought it was just another solitaire game. Huh, it is but, damn if it doesn't have me by the short hairs!
So that's new.
I have something else that is new but quite frankly, I just want to play spider again and I have been e-mailing all my friends about the other new thing and well, I don't want to write anymore about it tonight. Maybe you will know tomorrow ;) Eh, don't get your panties in a twist or nothing, it's really just something all about me. Oh forget it! Tomorrow or something, okay!?
*glances at time and calculates potential spider playing time*
I'll share some books I bought while the best buds came up on Tuesday - I love how they are the one who need to buy something and I end up coming home with bags of stuff. Ah well, like Bob says, I don't spend a lot of money because I'm not up during normal business hours so once in a while, have at it ;)
Now, ask me how my Easter shopping is going. My name might be 'Dead Meat' Friday night if I haven't figured out what I can cook for dinner because like, stores are closed and stuff. Sunday too!! I'm not sure Bob and I know what to do without shopping!
Ohhh, right. Tomorrow. I keep forgetting and when I remember I have chest pains (no, not really but you know I'm a spaz) because I realize just how much crap has to happen in a short time. Lord have mercy! (oh shit, makes it sound like I'm pregnant - so no not that!)
This probably won't be a surprise because of the blogging buzz but, I bought Kresley Cole's A Hunger Like No Other.
I mean, an asshole hero? I'm there.
Then I noticed a cover and it turned out to be Kresley Cole's If You Dare and even though I try not to buy more than one book by an author I haven't read, well ... (Maili, avert your eyes!) it had me at the red plaid. Plaid. Yum.
Oh and my friend likes Kim Harrison and she reminded me that maybe a book was out and I just happened to spot Dates From Hell but, my friend doesn't do short stories. So I bought it. Said friend then turned to me and said, 'do you know that LKH has a book out called Micah? The hounds of hell would have to be sucking the marrow from my bones before I'd touch that!'
Yeah, my friend is a hoot! So here I tell her about Bam and her hatred of Micah which had me hurting with laughter and how Bam somehow read the damn book and actually liked it. I thought Michelle was going to heave! I should send her the links to Bam's rants because they're hilarious.
Dammit, where am I? Right. Oh, one more.
Hello, Gorgeous! by MJD.
Hey! I heard that! I sooo didn't buy the newest Royal book so it's not like I couldn't quit her if I wanted to!
Edited: Shit, shit, shit!! Why was this book in the new release section of the bookstore!? This is last years release! I thought it was the new one.
Now you can say I'm a MJD whore.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Didn't anybody see Oprah today? I mean, I know I am a bit of a TV aholic but, Tivo, DVRs?
So you may have seen Pink's new video for her catchy song 'Stupid Girl' and I'm telling you I howled with laughter when I saw it. I mean seriously this chick is hilarious - or the writer's of her video, you know, whatever.
Oh but wait, I have to tell you about the first time I saw Jessica Simpson's video for 'These Boots were made for walking'. I mean, have you seen this? Okay, I get the whole, going for a cowboy theme and she's looking like Daisy Duke with her jean cutoffs climbing up her crack and she's at least kinda slung her boobs into what appears to be a top. So there she is, shaking it but, okay, it's supposed to be that western line dancing thing soooo 'kay, I get it. Not sure why Willie Nelson did the song with her but he must really need the money.
Or he heard about the ending of the video.
Near the end of the video Jessica struts into a barn wearing a bikini and washes a car while shaking everything and I'm left thinking, 'so, it's come to this. Said you wanted to be a virgin till you were married, did that and now it's bring out the sex shots.' The ending of this video was just stupid and gratuitous and silly and yes, it is probably every man's perfect minute thirty of film but, gah!! Aren't her parents always on shots with her? Did her father watch her do this? *shudder*
Now I'm not a JS fan and had never really heard her sing except for that butch job she did on the Top Gun song about a year ago - yetch. So I listened to the song and I don't think she completed one word! She sounds drunk! 'These boos were made for walling and thas juss wha they'll do, one of these days these boos are gonna walls all over oooo'. I mean it's really bad!
'kay, where was I?
Right, so in Pink's video she spoofs this scene perfectly by being awkward in her body and jumping on the soapy car and just really hamming it up - I mean, if you haven't seen it, it's hilarious. In a minute I'll see if I can find a video on the net of it but, let's keep in mind I don't even know where to start looking - Google? Edited: OMG! I found it! Okay, keep in mind, not work friendly because she also mocks the Paris Hilton sex tapes and stuff. Also, you have to watch a commercial first but it blows by. If you haven't seen JS's video watch that one first so you get the car part - JS definitely not work friendly!!
But see, this isn't the part that made me go, 'Oh, no they didn't!!'
During this wonderful show (I'm not being sarcastic here, I have been grappling with what the media and the public think is beautiful and quite frankly, if you're not young, thin and willing to strip, you don't seem to rate!) on the negative images that are bombarding women they talk about teens and how they are having a hard time and thennnnnn... no, I don't know if I can do it.
Hell ya I can!! Here's a quote from Oprah's website:
Naomi Wolf, author of The Beauty Myth and Misconceptions, says there is a disturbing new genre of teen fiction targeted at millions of young female readers. She says most parents have no idea that these catchy paperback sets known as "chick literature" contain graphic, sexually explicit content. "One of the girl characters says, 'I've got to stop taking Ecstasy and seducing married men'Âthat's her character development," says Naomi.
With their two-dimensional portrayals of female characters, Naomi says the books send negative messages to young girls. "These books basically tell our daughters that their value comes from how high they are in the pecking order in their high school, whether they can afford all of the fabulous designer goods, and provide a hot sexual experience for the boys in their lives," Naomi says.
Dr. Robin says these books are dangerous in many ways. "[They] are defining for girls who they are, making them think they're choosing it, and then profiting off of the demise of a whole generation of girls and women," she says.
I believe this segment was called, Sex, Sluts and Hos but puh-lease don't quote me on that one as I can't really remember when that segment went up and I think I was too shocked when Oprah said it to remember the line correctly.
Also the above quote mentions the words 'chick literature' but I don't remember that being referred to in the piece. I mean, I was all ears at this point. Wolf basically said there were these books in the YA section of the bookstore that were "catchy paperback sets" but she didn't once define what, where or who was writing them. She ended up painting the entire YA books area with a wide brush!
Now, me? I don't read YA books.
I do know, however, that there are many adult readers who may have gotten involved by pre-reading titles before their kids did etc. but, like, where's the uproar? I was so sure I was going to see this all over net.
Maybe I am just out of touch.
Cocks head to listen for uproar.
*crickets chirp in the background*
Dammit! How are they getting in the house!
Monday, April 10, 2006
Sunday, April 09, 2006
I may yet decide not to post this. All the same maybe just writing it out and dealing with it might help me get out of this horrible funk I am in.
Self-esteem has never been my strong point and I am just slamming it with my worthlessness this week. I have mentioned a few times that I am feeling all buzzy and I always know that means something is bugging me that I won't let my conscious self deal with.
The good news for me is that I did mention to Bob the other night what I thought was bothering me and tonight when I (my cat is sleeping so hard right now that her nose is whistling everytime she breaths in - I love that) ... ah, right, tonight I got squirrelly and poor Bob was still awake so he got to see what that usually entails. For the most part I can keep myself from people when I get that bad and only wake Bob up if I need him to hold me while I cry. Tonight he had to watch me squirm with myself while declaring my boredom over and over again. Poor guy.
Anyways, just as I am about to lose it I say to Bob that I don't understand why I can have such bad days like this. That's when Bob said, 'you're Dad went back to work'.
Ahhhh, right, now I remember.
No, it's nothing bad it's just me in the pit of self-pity. My brother made a job adjustment in December by quitting his job and having to stay unemployed for a certain amount of time before a company that 'worked with' the company he left could ethically hire him. Thing is my blessed brother is not the sharpest tack and people can really play him so we were all terrified over Christmas because we just didn't know what was going to happen. Turns out this company made good and Billy started work the Monday after Christmas. Not sure yet if it is full-time but Billy is so much happier and his live-in says it has made a world of difference in his attitude. At the moment he is down in Alabama helping get the robotic line up that he had been working on these past months.
So there's my brother, out in the world and doing good.
My dad retired 5 years ago and surprised us this past month by saying he received a job offer that he couldn't refuse. He started back to work this past Monday. I was so shocked I didn't know which way was up! It's a four year job and my dad is now 62 so I was floored that he would consider working full-time again. Turns out my Dad is now commuting like he never has before and will probably have to travel to the Phillipines and Australia.
I should mention my family (except for my mother) are not great flyers. Billy gets to come home from Alabama every two weeks for a weekend. First weekend back Billy leaves a message on my phone saying he's safe and alive (?) and 'if anyone ever tells you, Cindy, that you can handle flying, don't believe them. I could hardly stand it!'.
All this to say that right now I am feeling like the most useless piece of human goo to ever exist on this planet. I swear to you, money actually runs away from me. I couldn't earn a dime and I am starting to feel more and more like I got left behind.
Anxiety was a bitch and is a bitch but I think I may have gotten back into the world if it wasn't for my weight. Now, apparently, the meds cause weight gain but let's face it, most of it is my own fault.
So I am looking around me at my friends and family and how they are doing in their careers (my best bud just got a well deserved promotion!) and I am feeling like I have stepped into another world. I mean, I'm not looking to get rich. Well, okay, that would be nice but, just a paycheck to let me know that I am doing something of value.
Bob has always said that it doesn't matter that I don't work and if we had kids it wouldn't be an issue but man, the self-esteem is just killing me. Bob says I'm his inspiration for all that he does but I'm not sure it's enough.
Course, I'm my own worst enemy. I want to work from home so that I don't have to deal with stressful situations. Hey, I have heard that loads of people work from home. I just don't have a clue what it is they are doing.
So there you go, welcome to my pity party. Now, if only I could shake this off.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Saw a meme and scammed it.
1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. In the Search box, type your birth month and day (but not year).
3. List three events that happened on your birthday.
4. List two important birthdays and one interesting death.
5. Post this in your journal.
Hmmm, what are the odds that those born on my birthday were known for their laziness? I'm not sure I am up for seeing other people's accomplishments. *shrug*
1825 - Uruguay declares its independence from Spain.
For my pal Rosario. Cool. Do you celebrate Independence day on the 25th of August?
1718 - New Orleans, Louisiana is founded.
2005 - Hurricane Katrina makes landfall on the Miami-Dade/Broward county line, hours after reaching hurricane strength.
That's just too weird and I had to list both.
1989 - Voyager 2 spacecraft flies by Neptune, the last major planet it could visit before leaving the Solar System.
I did one more because I remember this and I was sad the spacecraft was just now going to fly on too infinite. Morbid cuss at 19, eh?
Two important birthdays
1819 - Allan Pinkerton, American private detective (d. 1884)
A name I know and love.
1970 - Claudia Schiffer, German model
Crap, now I feel nauseated. Exact day, month and year. Crappy genes.
1942 - George Edward Alexander Windsor, Duke of Kent (b. 1902)
Not interesting just funny that he had so many names! This is normally where I roll my eyes while reading an historical romance. Here's how a king's death is listed:
1270 - King Louis IX of France - also died on the 25th but I thought it was funny that he had such a small name compared to the guy up above.
1330 - James Douglas, Scottish soldier (b. 1286) This one I find intriguing because he is listed as a Scottish soldier. Nothing else. Not a poet or anything so now I have to see what it was he did to be remembered.
Oh, National Day for Uruguay is listed on the page although I think Wiki has messed up a smidge. Above Uruguay declared their independence from Spain here:
Uruguay - National Day (independence from Brazil in 1825).
They show it from Brazil.
The only thing that makes me feel not sooo bad is that millions of people must have born and died on my birthday and they aren't on the list so I guess not being on the list is A-okay.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Some things (lame, yes) that I do everyday.
Tell Bob I love him. Smooches and hugs.
Talk to the cats and dogs like they are people and they understand every word said to them. Apparently they don't because I have talked to Rocky and Cody about eating things that are not organic but we seem to be at a stand still.
Sleep. (What a friggin' surprise)
Make the bed just before Bob is ready to go to bed. I don't make it up when I get up because there are cats nested in certain areas and I know what it is like to have your sleep interrupted and other than that, I stay out of that room unless it's time for bed.
Go downstairs to watch TV with the dogs. It's gotten to the point where if I'm not down there by 10 pm they start barking for me. We've had people over at night who wonder why the dogs suddenly get vocal. Bob'll say, 'They're calling their mom to come watch TV with them.' Yep, I can be trained.
Hunt for my purse and keys. Yes. Every freakin' day. Considered nipple piercings to attach said items to but, Hell No!! You're not buying that are you? Could you imagine? 'That'll be $7.20 ma'am.' 'Oh, right, let me just get my wallet *hear keys jingle* ooops that's right, it's attached to the left today.'
Have I grossed you out yet?
Think I am funny - most days I think I'm a riot but that might be the meds ;)
Think I shouldn't eat that and then do.
Eat crushed ice. Yep. Not sure why but I love crushed ice so I end up drinking way too much water just before bed. Blasted bladder!! Have no clue why one day it decided it needed emptying more than those 3 times a day.
Did I mention TV? Yeah, lots and lots of TV.
You know, I would have had to put eat out for dinner but I actually made food tonight! What I really want though is a roast beef dinner with all the trimmings. This doesn't happen because there is only Bob and myself and he doesn't eat leftovers.
Now before you all think I'm super lazy about dinner I would like to state in my defense that my husband does not know how to properly appreciate a meal. We left my mother's one night and Bob waxed poetic about her lasagna and how it was the best ever. Now he has to beg me to make him lasagna.
I've made homemade stew only to have the hubby say how he prefers Puritan Beef Stew. To all of you that don't know, that's stew from a frickin' can!!! Now I only make stew for me.
Oh, now he likes the roast beef stuff that you buy in the meat section already done. You know, the one that says made from meat? What kind of meat? I don't know but my homemade stuff isn't as tender as that stuff according to the discerning palate of the hubby! I won't eat the packaged stuff and he complains about the homemade stuff so it sounds like another night at the take out window.
I should try harder with dinner. No. Really.
Nahhhhh. Just foolin'!!
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
What romance book do you secretly love?
This one is a tough question because I don't know that I hide from the books that I once secretly loved. I mean, at one time I hid the fact that I read romance from everybody. Not that I was fooling anybody but my friends sure didn't know. Now with the online community and my bad attitude I'm not really sure I care what people think about what I like to read.
It doesn't bother me that there are Lori Foster rabid fangirls. Have at it. I wish she worked for me but, meh.
So, I guess I could truly horrify people by saying that I at one time loved all of Woodiwiss' books except for the one where the hero married the sister or some such rot. I'm not sure when her books went bad but it was early in my reading.
A Rose in Winter was a complete revelation to me. I had never read anything like it. No, I never read Jane Austen so the idea of secret identities and hidden wives never occured to me.
Come Love a Stranger was so romantic and I didn't have a clue how things were going to work out.
Then Shanna. I am thinking of re-reading this book to see how it holds up. I loved that she basically bought him from a prison - or were they married?
Woodiwiss showed a darkness and angst that probably made me into the reader I am today!
Julie Garwood. Yeah, that one is hard to admit when I know Maili might drop in but c'mon! It was more about relationships between the H/H then the settings. It showed me that you didn't have to read 'I love you - I hate you' books and I scoured the bookstores for every single one of her books.
I remember reading Judith McNaught and wanting to beat most of the heroes about the head but I don't remember Whitney, My Love in particular, which is weird because you would think I would remember a book that so many people found loathsome. Again, may have to find that one.
Diana Palmer - but then, who doen't have an author in their library that they know writes horribly virginalized heroines and abusive heroes?
Forget I mentioned it.
Oh, crap. Now I remember.
I read and enjoyed Evanovich until about book 10. Sorry, I just did.
*deep breath in* I also continued to read LKH up to and including her last book. As my friend calls it, vampire porn. Now it's more like vampire gang-sex porn but, well, I've still read them. I don't think I will read the next one though. I didn't mind when she had sex with Jason or someone I knew but when all these other male characters showed up I was done.
Wow, I guess that one was the deep dark secret one.
Wait, there was a Sandra Brown book where the heroine is engaged to a young religious man and the night before he is to go somewhere dangerous, she tries to seduce him. He leaves the room. She's crying and the bad boy brother who has loved her from afar can't help but come to her in the dark.
Yeah, I remember bringing that one up on a message board and getting blasted with the I HATED THAT BOOK!! With the caps lock on. Followed by the ME TOOs!! and the Ewwwws.
Wanna comment? Go ahead, I can take you - uh - it ;)
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Finally. I was beginning to think I would never finish another book again. All it takes is plunking the butt in the chair and ignoring things like laundry, dinner, the husband and the insistent barking of dogs.
This is normally quite easy when I am knee deep in a book but this one never grabbed me.
So, I've decided the book is a C because every time I went to pick it up I couldn't remember what the story was about and in the end, meh.
Cindy Blurb: At the age of 15, Evie meets Justin in the middle of the night leaving a married woman's room while she is heading to the kitchen for a drink. It is her sister's coming out party and she is now upset that Justin might try for her. Justin assures her he will keep his distance and that she must forget she ever saw him coming from the married woman's room and in return he will be in her debt. She decides that Justin is really no harm to anyone because he is a bit of a buffoon.
Ten years later Evie cashes in and Justin lends her his country estate so that she can host a wedding for her Aunt's business that has fallen into her lap. Not important. Justin insists he needs to be on the property because he is a birder, Evie insists he keep his hands off the women (which confuses Justin) and they spend a month in each other's company. Oh and he is a master spy. If this is an example of an English spy from this era I weep for the British.
What's good about this book. Well, it's charming in a young girl's fantasy kind of way. Not so much in a grown ass woman's kind of way and well, I'm all growed up. So if you want to read a fairytale-ish romance without a lot of smarts then have at it. I'm surprised that this book is lauded as one of Brockway's best.
Problems? You betcha.
Evie was a heroine I actually liked. She was hard working, strong in her emotions and not afraid of much. Her aunt had run off to get married and left her wedding planning business without a care. Evie, who prides herself in making herself responsible for all things took the reigns and managed to make quite a mess. He last hope is to pull off one stellar wedding and her client wants her reception at one of Justin's ancestral homes. Evie has some serious self-esteem issues but then she is twenty five in a time when a woman's youth was valuable (hmmm, like today much?) and she considers herself unattractive so she makes herself invaluable to her family by being level headed and in control. I can actually understand her.
Justin, however, got the raw end of the stick because he came across as not only silly but also less than bright in the intelligence (and I mean spy) way. The more I think about it the reader never actually knows who Justin is. Is he the 'hail fellow well met' man or is he ever serious? I mean, it is suggested that as a spy he must have a serious side but I never really saw it. You caught glimpses of it through Evie but it came down to never really knowing how the real Justin would be in a family situation.
The worst was at one point Justin is musing to himself that master spies are in the intelligence gathering game and aren't in the business of killing each other.
I thought about putting the book down at this point. I also lost all respect for Justin as any sort of spy at all. He's been a spy for more than ten years and hasn't really found himself in a dangerous situation. I say he wasn't a 'master' spy at all. If Evie hadn't actually found a spy I would have suggested that Justin was delusional.
Okay, if I write anymore I might end up sandbagging the hero of this book so I will leave off here. Obviously this book was supposed to be a lark and maybe, I just wasn't in the mood for a lark.
But then again, I don't think spies live a life of carefree abandon.
Now, I'm scared to pick up another book. What if it is too frothy like this one? I need something dark and now that it's April, maybe I should do some re-reading. At this moment, however, I'm going to go veg in front of the TV.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Not in a good way.
I have fallen back into my nocturnal ways again and then WHAM!, we spring ahead an hour. Yeah, yeah, it's worse for you because you have to go to work and you lost an hour this weekend but hey, this is not about you! (love you)
Now, not only am I out of whack, I'm outta whack big time. Meaning I could go to bed at 7am and not get up until 6pm. Ohhh, ahhh, a whole hour of daylight. Damn my vampire-ish ways. Okay, blood creeps me out but still! Bob has always said that the 'vampire family' (that'd be my family) only gets going at around 11pm. Well, let's face it, that's when everybody is good and liquored up (not me because of meds - damn meds) and we're flinging shit at each other.
Ahhh, good times.
Quick track jump - I remember the days when I could drink. I was in university and was working part time and on Saturday night I was feeling dead and clammy and sucky. Me and the best bud would meet up for dinner and I would have one drink, a singapore sling. Man! I could actually feel the whole week melt away. I would kill right now to have a drink and feel everything melt away.
Course, then there was that whole too much heat, too much activity, empty stomach and the best singapore sling I ever tasted. I ended up in the parking lot with my head between my knees praying I wouldn't embarrass myself and heave. Bob sat and finished his dinner because he thought I had gone to the bathroom. I had bolted out of my chair and made for the door. That was the last time I ever drank. Yeah, boo-frickin'-hoo.
And back in line - Bob's usually asleep by 10pm. Earlier if we're all just gabbin'. When we first got married my family was very concerned about this man I married because, well, they wouldn't let him into the house until after we got married - have I told you that story? Ten years later, they tell him to go lay down and have a nap while the rest of us play.
So, even though I come by it naturally, it still grates. I actually enjoy the sunlight and hey, it's my favorite time of year! From now until the clocks go back I am one freaking happy camper. Oh alright, I'm not scary happy and I have been known to snap people in two but c'mon, they deserved it ;)
Where am I going with this? No where. Just decided to whine. It's that or wake Bob up at 4 in the morning and get all weepy and make him crazy. Nah, he needs his sleep and I need to just cope.
So, I think I'll be up most of the morning. Good thing I have that Brockway book hanging around here.
Just so you know, I read exactly one book this month.
I'm not calling a slump yet because there have been a few projects taking up my time and that puzzle game captured me - I finished it last night and I am beside myself looking for something to do. Oh! How about read!
On top of all that I baked cookies. The real kind where you bring out the flour and stuff but I didn't have chocolate chips, I had milk chocolate chips. Now I feel vomity because milk chocolate on top of the sweetness of the cookie is just too much. Then the pecans.
And I had four.
Stupid willpower. Course, it could be mad at me because I am always calling it a name.
I'm beginning to ramble (oh, c'mon, that wasn't bad!) so I'll sign off.
Anybody have the leg shakes? Not quivering or anything. Just that bouncing leg when you are nervous or anxious or uh, hyper? Mine's going like 80 miles an hour. Yeah, I'm thinking anxiety mixed with hyper.
True, what could be a good mix?
Saturday, April 01, 2006
|You Are Coke|
A true original and classic, you represent the best of everything you can offer.
Just the right amount of sweet, just the right amount of energy... you're the life of the party.
Your best soda match: Mountain Dew
Stay away from:Dr Pepper