Just a Worry Post

Em is in really bad shape.

So bad I'm not comfortable with how she is doing but the vet wants us to give her some steroids and appetite stimulants and Bob picks those up in the morning. I should tell him to bring her to me while I'm in bed so I can get them down her. (Bob's not good with meds and his babies)

I pray that by tomorrow night I see an improvement because right now, Em looks like she's knocking on that door.

I want to pick her up and hold her but she was never really a lap kitty and I don't want to hurt her inadvertently.

Also, she smells of urine and sickness which makes me want to give her a small warm bath but Bob doesn't want her to catch a chill. I'm worried she feels horrible and is embarrassed about the way she smells. Although Amber was the one who would be mortified if she stank.

Every once in a while the kitten approaches her and chirps at her as if to say 'you ready to play now?'

I know you guys know I love my furry critters and my chest hurts from trying not to cry. I figure there is never a good time to make this kind of decision but tonight it's been all I can do not to wake Bob and say 'it's time'. I will give the meds 48 hours for a turn around. After that, my girl would be suffering and that's not acceptable.

On an aside: My vet has cost us 800 bucks over the past month with Em. Some of the costs were for blood work that needed to be sent away for virus results. That night I read about the virus Em possibly has and it said the best way to test for the virus was with the fluid they drew off her. So yeah. The blood results were negative and now the vet wants me to bring Em in to be drained again so they can do the 'right' test. Cause it's either this virus or bladder cancer. Guess what, same end result.

If I didn't already know Bob's situation with work I would have no problem with the (I'm sure) 200 bucks it would cost for these tests but at this moment, I'm not really sure of the benefit and Em would be taken from her home again and poked and prodded.

I do know the virus can be detected after death with tissue samples but Lord knows what that would cost. My only concern at that point would be Pixie and potentially any new kittens we would bring into the home.

Phew. Sorry it's dreary here right now but getting this written out really does make it easier to get back up and keep going. I wasn't going to sleep if I didn't get the mess and fear out of my brain.

Oh, fun side trip. The other night I showed Bob a kitty bed that is heated and Bob was all, 'we have to get that for Em'. I was thinking if she was in pain then maybe heat would help. We put it in the laundry basket she has procured as her own little slice of life but I wasn't sure she was happy about it. So I then took the bed out but I put it beside her basket and lo and behold, a few hours later I found she had picked the heated bed as a preferred spot.

And yes, it tickled me pink to think it might be helping.

Damn, I love that furry nut.

I know there are readers here who have had to make the same decisions and doesn't it just suck! But I wouldn't give up a minute Bob and I got with our Em and her funny ways but that would be for another post - that I wish I didn't have to make for a few years yet.

I hope you are having a great weekend.

When it goes bad I plan on plunking my butt down and reading Play of Passion by Nalini Singh. I was very excited when I picked it up but doing the AAR poll has been uh, time consuming. And I forgot, the ones who send in their lists later are the die hard list makers which means almost all the ballots have 100 titles (early in the poll you can have 100 then 20 then 40 then another 100 - so the inputting isn't so intense. Now it's all 100s baby!)

Okay, off to kiss Em on her forehead and to tell her I love her again (I'm sure she's all, yeah, yeah, you love me - now go get me some pain meds!! I hear Oxycotin is nice.) Poor Baby.