Sunday, June 20, 2010

Happy Summer To Ya!

Hey there, sorry about that, I was definitely getting lost out there in facebook land and pool land and tv land.

I'm doing just fine for someone 5 weeks into anxiety counseling. Fun, fun, fun. Ugh.

The whole anxiety thing is anxiety inducing for many reasons and hence, my rate of sitting in a chair long enough to do anything other than watch TV is far from normal.

I have that bouncing leg thing. Don't know if you have it or if you know someone with it but my knee is out of control. Bob will reach under a table to stop it from bouncing if he can see it or feel it. So yeah, my anxiety shows up physically with my knee. After that, it's all in the brain.

Anyways, I've been driving twice a week about 30 minutes from home and trying to stay there without panicking. This week it was nothing, even with leaving my 'anxiety' pills at home. So definitely progress. My goal is to get out to friends homes an hour away (like to Kristie's) without having a melt down.

That said, there are 7 more weeks of cognitive behavioral therapy. Fun!

I have been buying books but like I said, sitting is next to impossible. Although Sybil sent me a little prize that I started the other day and YUM, I can't wait to sit and read it. I'm thinking Wednesday as Tuesdays are counsel days.

Bob has been traveling up a storm for work, big changes happening so lots of upheaval but I try to remember to be grateful and remember that we have it much better than most people. I have to remind Bob every once in a while also. He's actually not as phased by all that is happening. He's been there, done it and knows stuff will either go on or not. He can only do his best in his job, after that, it's out of our hands.

When Bob travels I'm useless. I'm not sure why but I flake out and barely move. Course, this year allergies hit me something fierce just around the time his traveling started, so I took Benedryl. 3 days later I woke up. Seriously, that stuff needs a warning label!

Also, I've been searching online rescues for a new puppy (dog - I call all dogs puppies). I shouldn't be shocked at how hard it is for me to look at pages and pages of dogs who need a home but I'm always surprised when I log off and am exhausted. So far, many of the dogs won't suit homes with kids (we don't have any but I sure don't want to be worrying when all the kids do show up) or the dogs chase cats. So yeah, no.

Pool's open and we finally have a hot week in store for us!

Part of the 'new' life is more attention to budgeting and well, the pool took me for some serious money. Weeks later we've figured out that the chlorine we were buying was far from potent so we switched companies. Amazing how having a chlorinated pool keeps algae from growing (algaecide is 30 bucks a bottle - I've bought 3 since opening! when I maybe buy 1 or 2 a year. And last week I put 3 jugs of chlorine in for 10 bucks a pop when you should only have to put in one a week.). I want to go and demand money back for poor chemicals from the original company but Bob's all 'let it be'. As long as the pool looks good again and Bob will swim without having a fit all's well.

Oh, I did read one book but by the last few pages I stopped caring about any of the characters and stopped reading. It was a vampire story but other than the hero being a vampire it was basically a western like book. It was by Sarah McCarty - oh Caleb was the title. I did buy Jared but a page in I put it back down. I'm not saying it's the books as I'm obviously in a different frame of mind but Caleb didn't work for me because it felt too isolating. And the heroine was a baker. I know, I'm not sure what that says about me.

Other than that I'm thinking everything is business as usual.


A line I would like to see never said again in a movie or on TV is. 'Why don't we skip dinner and move on to dessert.'


That gem was from the movie From Paris With Love - the number of dialogue lines I could see coming for miles was mind numbing. Fun if you just want some eye candy.

The Road - amazing. I covered my eyes for the more gruesome things but it was the relationship of the father and son that was fantastic. The movie is so far from happy that unless you want to see how someone deals with a post-apocalyptic world, I wouldn't suggest watching but it has you thinking weeks later.

Daywalkers - I so wanted to love this movie - it was one I was waiting for but OMG it sucked hard. I hate when writers/directors take short cuts. Basically, if you have a vampire story where real smart vamps are trying to create a blood substitute for years, don't have them find a different solution in under a few hours. It plays poorly.

Right now I want to see the Book of Eli - I do have a penchant for post-apocalyptic movies as long as I can see hope. And hey, Denzel Washington makes any movie worth watching.

So there's life in a nutshell.

I'll see what I can do about the reading but I can't promise anything with the anxiety clinic keeping me on edge.

Yeah, so blog life like usual.


Marg said...

Nice to see a post from you Cindy! Good luck with the clinic!

Mollie said...

Thanks for the update Cindy! Keeping my fingers crossed that fighting the anxiety gets easier!

Did you read The Road too? I just watched the movie last week and it was good, but not nearly as powerful as the book. I think the bond between the father and son was even more apparent in the book!

nath said...

Cindyyyyyy!!!! So glad to hear from you :D I was wondering how you were doing with the clinic and I'm glad that it's going well!

Hope the Anne Stuart gets you in a reading mood :D

and cool about getting a dog :D

Amy said...

Hey, Cindy! It's good to see you out and about in Bloglandia! Keep up the good work with the clinic; any progress is good progress, right?

CindyS said...

Marg - thanks! And uh, update on clinic coming up. Bad Cindy ;)

Mollie - I didn't read the book because I figured it would be too hard - seeing as the movie is staying with me I think I made the right decision!

Nath - I'm ready to sit and read but Bob decided to invite a bunch of people over and to take 2 long weekends in a row. Me and plans!

Amy - thanks! And yes, progress is better than the opposite!


Kristie (J) said...

Cindy!!!! Hugs!! - it is good to 'see' you again! If it doesn't start the anxiety going, we should start thinking about a Canadian bloggers get together sometime. Those SoCal bloggers have become such a mean, dream, meeting machine!

ReneeW said...

So great to see a post from you. I miss hearing what's going on with you. Sounds like you are working hard on the anxiety and making progress. Good for you! Keep up the good work.

C2 said...

Hey! I'm so glad you popped back up on your blog. It's always nice to get an update from Cindy Land. :D Of course, I knew you'd been around because I see your accomplishments on FaceBook. LOL

Sounds like you're making good progress on the anxiety front so YAY! The driving thing is awesome. (((Cindy)))

Rachel said...

(Hugs) to you, Cindy. Obviously you're doing the hard work and being brave, and good for you! I hope it gets easier. Hang in there and keep it up!

I also have a bouncing problem - I do it with my foot, though. I wonder if that's a direct physical manifestation of anxiety or if we just share that habit.

~ames~ said...

Hey Cindy - just wanted to let you know of a free Anne Stuart read at Harlequin:{4AC375B1-23E0-40FF-A4B3-86D75BAE380D}

It's the prequel to her new historical series.