Friday, June 30, 2006

The Ugly

This should be a quick post but knowing myself so well, I will probably end up on some tangent about global warming and the effect it is having on my skin.

Hey, I'm just warning you.

Here is where I will bare my shame for all. It wasn't all that shameful until my husband decided to stuff everything into a closet.

I give you my husband's masterpiece - Books In A Closet.

So, anyone wanna guess where that one Karen Monk title I have might be? Any brave souls?

Also, this is a walk in closet so the boxes run the depth also.

I suggested that we go to IKEA and buy some bookcases because they are cheap and I could empty the boxes and see my books again. *purrrrr* Bob says forget it because he has order the plywood from his company and it's in some holding place until he can get up there to retrieve it.

Did I mention the third house closed today?

Priorities in Bob's head - don't think I'm not aware!

1. Get pool looking spotless (okay, I get this)

2. Gardening (it's July, save the money for next year!)

3. Put the new floor in the bathroom of our old house (yeah, can't wait to see when this gets done)

4. We are putting up our house on Tuesday - I told Bob that maybe my dog-eat-dog mentality was bringing everyone down so I should keep my mouth shut. At this point Bob says there are four houses on the market like ours under 300 000 and that he needs me to be the heavy. This means I have to listen to all the bitching and whining and hold steady. This ruined my birthday last year because it was 3 to 1 to drop our asking price by 40 grand. I said no fucking way and somehow I won - ruined my birthday but everyone was high fiving when we got our asking price. I told Bob I would be the heavy but he is not to ruin my birthday (Aug 25th) at which point he says, 'oh, the house will be sold by then'. *BOOM* My head exploded. At least this time, it will only be Bob and John (real estate agent) who will try and get me to back off. You'd think they would learn.

5. Yet another house.

6. Anything else that comes before anything Cindy wants.

7. Bookcases?

Geez, I did say this was a drive by post and lookit me! I'm all Gabby McGab. I'm trying to head to bed for midnight but I have a headache (probably from stressing about being on the road for 8:30am tomorrow) and I need to decompress by blog-hopping.

Also, I managed to colour my hair without bleaching stripes into my eyebrows - I forgot to colour them all together so now I'm Super blonde with black eyebrows. I tell you, I'm lucky my head is attached!

So, I'm gone tomorrow until Sunday night but I figure you all have lives and won't miss me a bit. I, on the other hand, will be stressing and acting all bizarre because I'm too far away from home.
Yeah, boo-frickin'-hoo.

I'll miss you too.

Promises Kept

I did tell you that I would share my book purchases with you and let me tell you, finding 4 paperbacks to buy has never been so hard. I might have to revisit 'the rule' I have for buying books but then, it could be saving me a small fortune.

Yesterday was a hodge-podge of stuff that had to get done, now, now, now so it wasn't like I had time to sit and browse the shelves. I definitely felt like I was under pressure but, a free book?, I'll work through it.

The first book I picked up after going over the section about 3 times (big box store so the section is huge) was Bitten & Smitten by Michelle Rowen even though I recall that Jay had a 'meh' feeling about the book. I read the first page and thought, what the hell, it could be free. However, when I went to Jay's last night I discovered that she had been trying to read the next book by this author and was failing miserably. Thing is I had read this before but I have such a shitty memory that it didn't take. Crap. I now own a book by an author who has received two 'meh' reviews.

Maybe she'll be my new Anne Stuart.

Hey, I will be holding out hope that one day I will find another author that brings me as much joy as Anne Stuart. It's imperitive that this new author have a backlist. In fact, that's non-negotiable.

At this point in my venture I'm beginning to sense that things are not going to mesh and I'm going to be leaving empty handed because it's not like I need this book to breath.

I fan out.

Maybe someone published since the last time I was in the bookstore.

Like LKH - oh she did! Hardcover, huh, I can get that cheaper over their on-line store and I should really be cutting her loose. (Aside, Bam did have a review and Bam's over it and since she read as far as I did in the series I trust that I would also be way over it - Sweet!!! 25 bucks to spend on other books - but that's for another day, we have to finish yesterday's visit).

A Fist Full of Charms? Hey, that's the latest from Kim Harrison! I can buy that! Now, I have only read the first in her series - Hey, settle down, it doesn't break the rule! The rule is I cannot buy any more books by an author I have *yet* to read. I've read her first book and I liked it so now I have three in the TBR pile for back-up. Shut up. It's my rule and I didn't break it!!


Okay, I've got two books and I'm not going back.

I see Julie Keener's The Manolo Matrix but guess what? I have The Givenchy Code and since I haven't read the book I cannot buy her latest.

See, it works.

Stupid rule.


At this point I desperately head back to the romance section to find two frickin' books by authors who I've either not read before or who's books I have read and enjoyed. This should be like taking candy from a baby (seriously, who would take a baby's candy? Okay, besides me) but it's like pulling teeth.

Sex, Lies and Online Dating by Rachel Gibson. Eh, why not. I read her See Jane Score and there were things that made me nuts but maybe she has grown as a writer and her hero won't come off as a passive-agressive A-hole.

Give me a break. Time crunch people!

And what is that little piece of darkness? Night Fires by Karen Harbaugh. Huh. Didn't she write trads? Is it possible this book contains no sex?

Holy shit!!! On the back, on the back!!! There is a friggin' endorsement by none other than Anne 'she's a goddess' Stuart!

And I quote "Extraordinary...Quite possibly the best book of the year...Completely and utterly divine." -- Anne Stuart


Yes, I know how blurbing works and Stuart could have said something ravishingly bad about the book which would explain all those dots but I don't care. Apparently all a publisher has to do is put Anne Stuart on the book somewhere and I will buy it. Could you imagine if Catherine Coulter or Connie Mason had a quote from Anne? Hey, I can call her that - we're like this *fingers crossed* - sure there's that pesky restraining order but...


I hope there's sex in the Harbaugh book.

Uh, oh, I think I broke the internet - no pictures in blogger and now I can't get any websites to come up so no links - I'm gonna hit publish and see if I can get this on before I need to go to bed.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

What is that Smell??? & Lightning

What a day.

I drag my sorry ass out of bed, go and do the 4 'absolutely must do' things that I have been neglecting and then finally I'm off to the 'other' house.

I believe I mentioned in the last post that I sprayed the SOB (shower) down with a chemical and ran out of there so I was a little concerned about possible fumes still in the house. I get downstairs and there is a hint of a smell but I figure I can handle it.

So, I jump in the shower and start scrubbing like there's chocolate under all the layers of soap scum. Huge hint guys - you can take a glass scraper (a blade with a handle that people use on their glass top stoves to clean them) and peel soap scum off of the plastic part of the shower! You have to be careful not to gouge the plastic but wow, when I was done it looked like I had finely shaved white chocolate on the bottom of my shower.

No. I did not eat it.

I just couldn't believe that I still had soap scum on the shower when I had sprayed chems, left it for 24 hours and then scrubbed everything with hot water!

I hate soap scum but, I'm glad I finally figured out how to get it off without burning my lungs.

Still, there is this odor in the bathroom that I can't quite place.

I go over to the bathtub and see that some whiz kid has put two small carpets inside it and they look like they had been wet. I go to move them and holy shit!!!

I'm telling you, I have never smelled a dead donkey's ass but I think I know what it might smell like now! I couldn't believe the swamp gas that roared up from the tub. Then I turn the water on thinking it will get the funky water out but the water comes out brown and the smell gets worse!

I finally got the nerve up to double up a garbage bag and roll the carpets - let them drain their stinky donkey ass water into the tub and dispose of them outside.

Do you think that scent has left my nasal passages? This was 8 hours ago and every once in a while I get a whiff of dead donkey butt. I changed my clothes and all but now I'm scared the smell is in my hair.

I wanted to swim when I got home but there was lightning and I respect the hell out of that stuff and won't go outside when it's possible to get struck.

Total tangent and kinda grim but again, it's my brain. Follow along if you dare.

I had a friend who was struck by lightning and died two weeks before he turned 16 - I think I was twelve at the time and Billy (my brother) was 7. Do most people know someone who has been struck? I just ask because I had heard people talk about it and I'm beginning to think there are more people who know people who have been hit than anyone really thinks.

My brother's friends used to rib him about his hightailing behaviour when storms rolled in. Then one of his friends was umping a T-ball tournament that was delayed because of rain. When the rain let up, the players took the field and one of the boys in the outfield was struck and killed by lightning. He doesn't talk much about it but he said the worst part was hearing the father sobbing over his child. Ever since then, Billy says his buddy now outruns him when a storm rolls in.

Let's bring this up to a funnier memory because I don't want to depress ya!

Bob and I had only been dating about 6 months when we loaded the dogs up in the car to take them to the park. I noticed lightning in the distance and immediately told Bob to turn the car around. I know I told Bob about my fear but I don't think he knew the scope of it.

He says not to worry because it's way off and we get out of the car. I'm making whimpering noises because it's the first time I've deliberately gone out when I can see a storm rolling in. We get to the park but I start to panic and tell Bob that we should turn back. At the same time he lets the dogs off their leads. Now, keep in mind the dogs were about 2 years and 6 months of age and were full of puppy vigor. Bob hands me both leads and I say we have to leave but he's not listening.

I swear to God the lightning that burst through the sky was only a kilometer away and my brain said 'RUN!' and I fucking tore up ground. I can hear Bob yelling but I'm not stopping until I get in the car. And I'm running and I hear something and I continue to run and I may have even started to cry and then I hear "DROP THE G*D DAMN LEADS!!!"

Bob recounts how I didn't even break stride as he saw these two plastic cases the leads come in fly over my head and land somewhere behind me. I think the only reason I reacted to him was because his voice was booming and I had never heard him swear before.

Poor Bob had been trying to wrangle the mongrels up only to discover I had hauled ass. He and the dogs were soaked when they got to the car and the look I got - wowza. I told him it was his own fault because I had told him how afraid I was and he hadn't listened.

Well, he listens now.

AND don't even get me started on a nude Britney Spears, The View's queen diva bitch Barbara Walters (could someone fetch her high horse please?) and the fact that my bookstore had a buy 4 get the third paperback free!!!

You know my, 'can't buy books by authors that I have in my TBR pile that I haven't read yet' uh, deal? It's a bitch!! Not only that, try buying a romance that is a stand alone story. Just a good ol' romance. I thought maybe I should give Feehan another chance or Sherrilyn Kenyon but where do I start!?

I'll tell you the books I bought on tomorrow's blog because this is getting long! I mananged *not* to buy Danse Macabre but only because I know it will be cheaper to buy it online.

I'm such a ho. I wonder if Bam has read it yet.

Edited: Oh shit! She has! Off to read.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Am I Blue?

I am so up and down in my emotions the past few days that I'm just waiting to get sucked into a dark void.

I think it's the strict diet of McDonald's I've been on for the past few weeks. I haven't had a chance to fill the pantry yet and yeah, I suck at getting dinner put together but I had plans!! My mental health can't take too much more dietary crap.

I proved I could cook a perfectly healthy meal the other night when I BBQ'd honey and garlic chicken breasts, roast potatoes and a caesar salad with a light golden dressing. Yummmm. Makes me hungry just thinking about it. Still, the kitchen creeps me out and we had guests which was why I made the effort.

Have I told you that earwigs take over the kitchen at night? I refuse to go in there until we can find the source and Raid them!! Bob cut a bush back tonight and he said there were hundreds of them but I want to wait until daylight to spray the bush so that if they mount a massive offensive I can see it and run like hell!!

Other than that, I got nothing done today because I became overwhelmed and went back to bed.

Let's hope that today I can stay awake for more than 4 hours at a time.

Hey, it's a goal.

Since I'm setting goals it would be nice to carve out some time to read Twelve Sharp by Evanovich. You know, if more hours in a day become an option.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Mental Garbage

"It's true that Sloth is one of the seven deadly sins. But I'd like to point out that, by indulging in Sloth, you're pretty safe from the other six. I mean, who wants to run around being wrathful all the time? That's just exhausting. And it's pretty much required that you give up any desire for money or power (Greed) or to be more important or attractive than others (Pride) if you want to spend all day watching the Cartoon Network."-- Kristopher Reisz

Oh, yeah. Just kinda sums up the person I am. I don't know who this Kristopher Reisz guy is ( I will once I wiki him - nope, urban fantasy writer ) but he's one smart dude.

This is going to be my mental garbage post. I think Megan has a fancy name for it but, uh, sloth.

First, have you all seen Fallen with Denzel Washington? 'Ti-i-i-ime, is on my side, yes it i-is'. Probably be better if I find a link to the song. Okay, go to this link and the first song on the list is the one - it plays the chorus. This movie totally got me. I didn't see it coming or nothing.

Also, Training Day with Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke was excellent but very dark so if you don't like that, don't rent this one. Actually the other one is dark also. Forewarned and all that.

I'm thinking of movies because it's summer and everything on TV is a re-run so I thought I would share some of the ones that can surprise.

On that note, I didn't enjoy the new movie out with Samuel L Jackson and dang, can't remember her name - oh Freedomland. I mean, no surprises or anything. Give me something that makes me think. Yes, there was the tragedy of it but, meh.

I really liked 16 Blocks but you should know I'm a slave to Bruce Willis. Yeah, I can tell you which of his movies blew chunks - there was one where he sang or something but I have blocked the memory. Anyways, I really liked this movie and loved Mos Def and David Morse ( I think he is under rated as an actor)

I want to rent Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (Robert Downey Jr. is always brilliant but Val Kilmer has been sucking eggs lately) and Syriana (Clooney - after Good Night and Good Luck, I'm not sure I trust him) but I don't have my DVD player hooked up yet. Hooking the cable box up was mission impossible so I'm not looking to add more grief to my to-do list!

End movie info.

This weekend we are going away over night which is always a fun (not) thing. We are going to my uncle's surprise 60th (man, is it me or is this generation making 60 look young!!) which will entail a 4 hr drive. I'm not good on long drives because of the panic but, I'll probably sleep most of the way because we have to leave here at 9:30am on Saturday. The party starts at 2pm and let me tell you, my parents, aunts and uncles can close out a night! They make us young ones look like the oldies!

Ah well, we rented a hotel room so we didn't have to worry about crashing in the back of someone's pick-up truck. Yes, my aunt offered up the 'where ever you land' type of bed. I didn't like that when I was a kid and I sure as hell don't do that now that I am an adult!! Bob doesn't do that exponentially. If you have a back that can slip you need a real bed so, thank goodness, we do and the family didn't throw a fit about it. In fact, my parents, aunt and cousin also booked rooms which threw me for a loop because they tend to like the bohemian style. Maybe the 60 year olds are finally growing up!

So no blogging from me on Saturday night and possibly Sunday.

I know.

You're devastated.

And I'm narcissistic.

On a completely different note I hate damp weather. Now that it is summer and the weather is not blazing hot we have the windows open. This means that the humidity that has been hanging in the air for what feels like weeks now is clinging to every surface in the house. I hate climbing into bed and feeling like my sheets are damp. *shudder*

It's raining now but only softly so the moisture is still in the air which means going to bed is not going to be the wonderfully drug like (Hey!) utopia it usually is.

Moral of the story? I don't like anything that messes with my sleep.

What a frickin' surprise.

On a productive note, I painted over at the other house and sprayed a cleaner all over the shower and ran like hell. Chemicals mess with my sinuses but I'm hoping the chems will have dissipated by the time I get there tomorrow. I'm also hoping this will make the shower gleam like a diamond without my scrubbing my fingers to the bone.

Dang. Good-bye fingers.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Napoleon takes on Funky Town

Funky Town

Now, for all those who remember that 70's hit Funky Town you will be hearing that song in your head for the rest of the day.

After some of the covers y'all have been subjecting me to, this is the least I could do in return.

Funny how that song is upbeat though because I hit a funk today that took the wind out of my sails. I headed back to bed for a nap because nothing was going right. Also, sometimes those meds back up in the system and I need a day of sleep so that was probably part of it.

Pool - phffffft. Stupid murky looking, can't get the friggin' water to pump out so I can vacuum the dark spots I can see through the murk in the shallow end - uh pool. I can only imagine what is in the deep end. We threw the hose in and filled the puppy to the top because when you turn this thing on backwash - WOW!! I'm probably going to end up emptying half the pool once I can see the damn dead algae so I can vacuum (alliteration - love it!). Have I mentioned it's an 18 X 40 pool with a deep end? Our last pool was a pond compared to this whale of a pool! 140 000 liters and since I'm Canadian I'm not converting that to gallons because - well, I'm dumb. Actually I think you would just divide by 4 to get a rough guesstimate sooo, 35 000 gallons? I'm gonna check a conversion site because that doesn't sound right ... okay, 37 000. I'm not as dumb as I thought.

To keep this post from becoming an epic tome I will try to keep my inane inner thoughts from falling onto the keyboard.

Wait. That won't work.


The Other House - that's how I am going to refer to it from now on because it has become a pain in my ass. Bob was there while I was asleep today and surprised me with all the work he had done so 'tada!! We don't have to work here today!!'. Uhhhh. Bob got all his stuff done. I still have to paint and clean. Grrrr.

So tomorrow is NOT the official new house day.

Then I called my best friend and layed (laid?) the 'best friend card' that she pulled out on me that one day. Guess what? It didn't work!! I needed her to come to the house and help me paint and clean and she was all, well, I'm kinda looking after other kids and what would we do about my kids and ... crap!!! So I'm bitchy enough right now to say that I will no longer be available to other people on 'their whim'. Not having kids seems to make me an easy target to play taxi, babysitter etc. but NO MORE!! Like Sue said at the end of the conversation 'I feel bad because you never say no to us.'

Yep, I'm being a bitchy schmuck at this moment and I hope you won't hold this against me okay? Cause I love kids and being with my friends and stuff, I'm just feeling like an elephant is sitting on my shoulder.

Okay, I'm not standing all slanted to one side so maybe it's clinging to my back.

Yeah, that's better.

There's an elephant on my friggin' back!!

I know!! What will I be like if I have to ever deal with a real problem.

If I had time to read I would be reading Twelve Sharp by Evanovich.

I know!!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

House Pictures

All of these pictures were taken the day we closed and I was able to go to the house alone while it was empty. You know, get a feel for the place.

This is the view from our living room window and I took this standing inside. Our property goes to that tree line. Yum.

Let's not talk about the pool, 'kay?

The window in this picture was the window I was standing in front of to take that back yard picture. There is a window the same size on the opposite wall and the room is huge. 25' long I think.

My mother laughed her ass off when she saw the house. 'You just can't get away from peach, can you?' My old house was done top to bottom in peach and I eradicated it from the premises.

Now I have a house with a bubblegum pink bathroom AND our ensuite bath is done in PEACH tiles!!!

Karma. It's a bitch.

Okay, you're wondering why I would ever take pictures of a bathroom. Well, you might remember that my husband was threatening to tear it out so I decided I better get my 'before' pics.

Do you see the bubblegum pink walls?

Yes, the bathroom is extremely tiny. My plan is to tear everything out and turn the toilet against the long wall where the vanity is. Just tuck it in that corner and then get one of those dresser vanities that are so popular right now.

And paint.

This one is cock-eyed but it might be because I was in shock over the paneling. This is the wicked, evil paneled room that I spend 50% of my day in. (Yes, the wallpaper in the hallway will be coming down but, prioritize, I must prioritize)

It's all decked out in our stuff now and Bob says he likes the room because he can watch his shows on TV and I'm on the computer in the same room.

Besides the paneling, and HELLO!! that's ugly, we need to get a couch or something because we have Bob's broken La Z Boy and the desk chair in here. The computer chair is not comfortable for watching TV and yes, I'll admit it even though there may be gagging noises - I need to snuggle with Bob when we are watching TV together.


That's it for now because I realize my photo taking skills need some updating. I need to take a picture of my ugly kitchen so you can all pat my head and make cooing noises to calm me.

Oh, alright, you can mock me.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Defcon 2

The pool is still green.

Bob is really stressed.

I'm too hot for words which always brings out C-Rex.

The other house still needs painting time - I was there today but Lord, I hate painting trim because it always takes like 4 coats of paint!

Friends are coming tomorrow and Bob wants the lawn cut.

I have no food in the house and even if I did, I don't have the energy to cook.

Bob and I had a blow-out at about 6:30pm so I crawled into bed for a nap. We have a rule that only one person at a time can be freaking out but apparently we left the rule book at the other house. I'm thinking we should just avoid each other for a few weeks.

Bob has decided that he will drain the pool, power wash everything, change all the plumbing and have the heater put in. This will take two weeks. Two weeks of my precious summer without a pool. Not. Impressed.

I just dumped yet another chemical into the pool in the hopes that the green will disappear by the time Bob gets up or good-bye pool.

Tomorrow I need to get up at 1:30pm go to the supermarket for some crap, get home and jump on the mower and hopefully squeeze in a shower before 4pm. The mowing took an hour and a half last week. Bob asked me to get closer to this pipe thing sticking out of the ground.

Yep, I'm right on it.

Did I mention my best bud is coming on Saturday? Again, right when I wake up? Again, not going to get anything accomplished?

Oh, here's one for you - the kitchen floor in this place is filthy! See, the last owners were old so I think she had a cleaning service and well, they must have just mopped because - yuck! I want to take an S.O.S. pad and scrub the floors but again, where am I to find the time?

At night there are a hundred and one creepy crawlies that emerge. I have the heebeejeebees!

Monday I am starting a cleaning campaign.

Vacation is officially over!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

The Mundane

Okay, the good news is that I did get some painting done today.

The bad news is that Bob and I have officially seen our first green pool.

We've had an above ground for 3 or 4 years - I'm not good with dates - and we have never had our water turn green. I was beginning to think you had to be a real slacker to have a green pool.

Well, colour me embarrassed because our new (30 years old) inground concrete pool went green over night. Which is weird because as far as I know the only thing unbalanced was the calcium and I hadn't had time to get the stuff in. Three separate doses spread 6 hours apart which means no swimming soooo, I didn't get around to it. Oooops.

This 120 000 liter pool is a whole new experience and the deep end is the part that went green. Maybe not having a deep end (our above ground was 4-5' deep) keeps the algae from growing but that doesn't seem right. Anyways, I had the last pool down to a fine art so it was shocking to see this pool blow it's cool. Not only that, the pool is only at 76 degrees (probably at the top because, day-am, it's freakin' cold which is a whole other story I'll drop on you guys another time - oh look, I added the story to the bottom) so we were told by my husband's best bud that we must have a *real* problem.


Thing is, the algae was only on the bottom of the pool and I could see the bottom of the pool and if you just think about the lakes you once swam in, well, what's the difference. Bob, however, seems very freaked out about it. I get more freaked out about floaties (bugs and debris floating on the top of the pool) and I will skim the pool until I see nothing left - can take up to a half an hour here!

So here's hoping that the pool is on it's way to health tomorrow when I wake up because I have to paint at the other house - the bathroom alone makes me want to cry, cut the lawn because Bob's best bud and wife are coming for a visit Friday (so I should try and green machine all the urine spots in the basement, vacuum and disinfect at the least - oh, and make something yummy to eat), Friday we get to visit - means I'm cooking and in general disarray and then Saturday one of my best buds is coming to see us. Did I mention we were hoping to get the other house on the market by Monday?

Stupid painting.

Why didn't we do this before!!??

Oh yeah, shit was in the way.

And lazy.

Stupid lazy.

Okay, I was going to end there but I have to tell you this because maybe you'll get a laugh and hey, I like to make people laugh.

So, at our old house we had that pool (c'mon, the one I mentioned above) and for 2 or 3 years we didn't have a heater and well, getting into the pool was quite a chore. I finally wore Bob down enough last year that he said we could buy a heat pump.




Now, we buy this house with this huge pool but, oh look, he has all the equipment and a pool heater so we're away to the races. After every thing is signed, sealed and delivered the old owner took Bob down to the heater and showed him that although it works, he wouldn't trust it because after 30 seconds the metal box that contains the heater is hotter than the sun. So Bob tells me and I say, 'fuck that, I want a new heater in the day we move!'. Bob tells me he and my father can re-insulate the metal box. 'Oh, yeah, when!' Bob says he will have my dad working on it the day after we move in.

That was 14 days ago.

Here is what happened in the old pool:

Bob: Let's go swimming.

Cindy: 'kay.

*ker-splash* *ker-splash* (All right! Who made the whale sound!! *shoulders slump in defeat* oh, who am I kidding, make your sounds.)

Bob: *sigh*

Cindy: *sigh*

Here is what is happening at the new pool:

Bob: Let's go swimming.

Cindy: *dirty look* I don't know ... what's the temperature?

Bob: It's 76 (he knows it's really 74 but no way is that coming out of his mouth).

Cindy: *grumpy look* Oh, all right. Why isn't the pool heater fixed? You promised ... (the diatribe of fault begins and Bob tries to plead his case)

*Bob's in the pool*

Bob: Ahhhh, this is refreshing.

Cindy: You mean it's fucking cold.

Bob: Just get in, you'll feel better once you get in.

Cindy: *goes down ladder to top of thighs* Holy @!#!#@!!! This is @!#!#@!!! Squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk...

*water hits the small of my back*


*gets shoulders under*


*dives under water and then breaks the surface*

Cindy: Awwwwwwwwwww, I feel so much better. You're so good to me! Thank you sweetie for buying us such a wonderful house with a great pool.

Bob: *blink* You're welcome.


Yep, he married quite a classy woman.

What a lucky bastard.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Plans? I Don't Need No Stinkin' Plans!

Actually I do need plans but everyone keeps messing with my days.

Okay, let's be honest. BOB is messing with my days.

Good news on the Cody front. Urinary tract infection which should be cured with antibiotics - yeah!!! Too bad my basement stinks of lavender Pine Sol and doggy urine. Poor incontinent puppy. This means I need a good four hours in the basement cleaning this indoor carpet they have on the floor. Four hours because I have poured the pine sol on straight and left it there to disinfect. Since Cody is losing control of his bladder about every half hour, I have about 10 spots on this carpet that need to be attended to and I have to find my little bissel cleaner because Bob won't let me tear up the carpet. I told him we could but the carpet squares that you peel up if they have a mess but Bob ain't listening because he figures Rocky has about a year to go and he doesn't want Rocky doing his 'oh my God, is this ice I'm standing on' walk.

Yeah, Bob isn't connecting to my idea of putting in a pull up carpet. At our old house we had laminate floor (easy to clean up any accidents!) and Rocky would act like a freshly born colt trying to find it's legs every time he got on it.

Crazy Dog.

Crazy Husband.

Anyways, *I* won't last the year if I have to deal with urine and feces and odors! I told Bob today that I had to deal with one of the cats and their #2 and then Cody and his #1 (had to catch it with a Ziploc tub so they could test the urine - what a treat!) and then, Rocky and Cody and their #2s. I walk them everynight before bed whereas before I could let them out in the fenced yard.

Stooping and scooping blows. I'm doing it though so be proud.

I told Bob tonight that karma is now kicking my ass for my wimpiness this weekend. Then again, I'm not embarrassing the dogs or myself when I am gagging to the point of the dry heaves. They don't know what's happening. So even though I'm paying I know I am not creating any further embarrassment so I guess if my punishment is to deal with the animal crap (hey Megan, I can put literally here right?) then I will do my duty.

Good Cindy.

The other thing I *have* to get done this week is the painting at our other house so we can put it up for sale. Now, since I had to deal with Cody today I knew that painting was out of the question so I have been mentally preparing myself for painting on Tuesday. Now see, I'm not much for spontaneity especially if something needs to get done. Remember the grass cutting? I get out of bed, shower and put my ass on the mower seat. That's how it gets done. If anything interrupts the flow, the grass doesn't get cut that day.

With that in mind I am mentally preparing to get out of bed (setting the alarm - oooooh, ahhhhh), showering, get the dogs out for a quick bit of business, get in my car, drive to the house and set up to paint. This is how I know I will get something done.

Tonight just before Bob goes to bed he says 'I will be home around 3pm tomorrow because of my MRI (which is at 8:30pm and no, there is no prep work necessary so I guess I will have to watch Bob do his anxious puttering)'. Great. I said to Bob I was planning on painting but that I wouldn't go. He agreed but said we could go and prep (taping off baseboard and such) and that may actually work!

It's just weird to have Bob around so much (he was just on a week's vacation!) because each of us has a routine that doesn't involve the other person. When I get my sleep screwed up, I can be wide awake when Bob gets up and I throw him off also. He'll have all these plans but since I'm up, he spends his time with me. (what a cutie ;))

So there you have it. Plans that aren't plans and now replans.

You know, I used to be a simple girl.

I heard that!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Very Blue

I had an *interesting* weekend and yeah, I mean that in a bad way.

Stop now if you don't want to wade into my mental guck.

The good news is that Zachary had a great 10 th birthday even though some people didn't show. One of the kids Zach was hoping would come showed up and that seemed to make everything right as rain. So Friday night was a good night except for the fact that my stomach decided to have a complete meltdown - tummy cramps and all the fun stuff that comes with it.

Saturday dawns and Bob's family is coming for a visit. Now, I'm expecting that maybe his parents won't come because they are 85 and 87 and neither of them have great health. I mean, most times we get the call that Mom and Dad aren't coming even though the brothers (that travel) are. So I was very surprised when both showed up. Luckily Bob had built ramps to get them into the house because Mom is in a wheelchair and Dad is on a rolling walker.

Great, we get them in and I sit with Mom in the house while everyone is outside because Lord have mercy it's hot and I know Mom can't take the heat! After a while I have to start getting the food ready so I tell Mom I'm right in the kitchen if she needs anything and off I go.

Turns out Mom has a dizzy spell (which she has been having now daily for months but the docs don't know the cause - we kids think it's the pacemaker but we're waiting) while I'm in the kitchen and says she thinks she's going to throw up.

I don't know if I have mentioned but I am completely useless with sick people. Horribly useless and let's just say that by the time they left I was ready to throw myself under the first moving vehicle because I am such a friggin' disappointment.

I ran to get Paul (Bob's youngest brother who lives with them and takes care of Mom and Dad) and he sits with her but literally there is nothing that can be done. So now my gag reflex is on high alert and I'm avoiding the room she's in because I can't deal.

I suck.

I finally escape outside and head for the farthest area of the yard figuring I'll be out of reach there and won't embarrass Mom.

Paul calls me from the back door. Mom needs me.

I get up dreading what is to come and Mom needs me to wheel her to the washroom. Okay, no problem except we get there and Mom says, 'I know the minute I try to get up I'm going to pee'. I said, 'Don't worry about it (thinking Depends)' Nope.

I bailed and I am so embarrassed that I couldn't help. I ran for Bob who has no problem at all dealing with anything and he took over. I was horrified that I couldn't stay in the house and keep her from having to ask her sons for help. Obviously she needed my discretion and instead I completely let her down.

When she was leaving I told her I was sorry that I couldn't help but she said it was fine.

I don't care, I don't think it was fine.

So that has definitely messed with me and why I'm even here on the planet and now getting old scares the crap out of me because, good Lord, Bob and I don't have kids so perfect strangers are going to have to help me and ...

I'm trying to block it.

To cap off the weekend I discover that the blood I have been finding on the floor is not from Rocky's mouth (he broke a tooth years ago and sometimes it starts bleeding from chewing bones and such) but, from Cody.

He's peeing blood.

I called the emergency vet but they said I could wait until tomorrow to take him to the vet and we have to 'catch' his pee. Bob did that tonight and it's bloody. We're hoping just a urinary tract infection but things are starting to add up. Cody has been breathing heavy (panting incessantly) since Christmas and Bob had him in at the vets but they said they couldn't find anything wrong with him.

Cody is twelve.

Add to that, we no longer have a fenced yard so we are walking the dogs around the yard and holy crap, when did Rocky become so old! His back legs aren't working right so he sometimes trips or his back end just drops. With the fenced yard he would happily trot along and I guess we weren't observant but now with the move we have been watching them to make sure they are getting everything they need and wowza, these dogs are old!

Rocky is thirteen and a half.

Bob thinks Rocky will last another year. I don't think he'll see Christmas. Which is so weird because these dogs were pups for like 11 years easy. Just tonight when I went to walk them they practically dragged me down the street when they saw another dog coming their way. Add to that, Paul's dog Aspen (retriever) is only 8 and looks like the walking dead! Our new neighbours have a retriever puppy and I took the dogs over to meet him and the owner was shocked that our dogs were so old. Our vet has also told us they are extremely healthy for their age.

I just feel like everything is coming to a head all at once.

Amber is 12 and Emma is 10. Bob says cats can live to 20. I'm thinking the man is in denial. Both are cats are fine now but realizing that they are not kittens any more is weird.

I think having an up close and personal look at getting old has thrown me into quite a funk. I now worry about my parents because there is only Billy and I and we were both born with the weakest stomachs. We got them from our dad. To this day, he can't watch anything with a surgery and forget about hearing someone in pain. Now, my parents are only in their sixties and are active so hopefully this won't be an issue but, yikes.

I'm also wondering about how I'm going to be able to pay someone *if* I'm like Bob's parents and need help.

Yep, too much real life was thrown at me this weekend and I decided to share my shame - I was going to write about it last night but I was so very ashamed. All the same, I felt the need to fess up.

I'm just no good for helping.

With that, I have to escape my brain so I am going to find a book to read. Bob is back to work tomorrow which means we really live here. (Bob woke up at 4:30am last night and I was in that funk and I said that I wanted to go home. Poor Bob, he said, this is home. Yeah, I know, but, it's not home and I don't know where to start because *everything* needs to get done! The room I'm in now has paneling from the 1970's and I think it's going to be a while before any of that changes!) Cody and I will be off to the vets first thing.

Poor incontinent pooch.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Ode to Lawn Tractors

Oh, you lovely growly beast,
The grass you find a lovely feast.

You belch and throw the garden around
And make me look like a big ol' clown.

I will find and ride you once a week...

So quit trying to buck me off you bastard!!

*stand and bows to the left, clicks heels stands and bows to the right*

I've mentioned I suck at poems and such, right?
Aside: Nope, not me in the picture - if only I was that thin but this is kinda what our lawntractor looks like (only now picture it all old and pitted because it's used) in case you were thinking of those John Deer ones - I prefer the type we have because I can see where I'm going and trust me, sight line is definitely a plus for me.

I have to admit that knives and sharp objects scare me - even though I'm wicked awesome when slicing and dicing in the kitchen - oh, but the knives are serrated - I would be terrified of a knife without a ridged blade. Why? Cause I would have lost at least three finger tips by now. Luckily the serrated edge binds when it hits my fingernail.

Now, the tip of knife? Ow, ow, ow, ow!!

Cindy's Helpful tip of the Year (I had day but, c'mon, when have I ever been helpful!)

Never, ever, ever and I do mean ever take a knife, point it towards your stomach or your other hand when cutting or peeling something very hard - like turnip. Cause, girrrrrrrl, the knife is destined to slip. I have only ever grazed my stomach (thank you God!) but have managed to stab my beautiful digits more than once! I've managed to keep injuries down nowadays because this helpful hint is so ingrained in me now that I rarely forget. Except for last weekend when I went to open a can of paint by cutting through the dry paint on the can with a scraper which hit a bump of paint, skidded off the pail and tore down the inside of my thigh. Ow.

Okay, wait, how did we get here. *mumbles, ode to tractor, sharp objects, owies, okay*

This fear extends to lawn tractors because I am sure that I will put my foot in harms way completely by accident while the blades are in motion. So I was anxious and decided to get the tractor (that we bought used - it's like 8 years old and refurbished) out while Bob was out running a few errands so he couldn't hover and make me nervous.

Well, suuuuuueeeeeeeeyyyyy! What a ride!! Not only that, but it cuts the grass!!

It definitely reminded me of a scary Disney ride. A Disney ride because the thing kept jerking and then slowing at weird times and scary because when I bounced the speed up I was trucking along and was pretty much out of control when I hit the hilly section of the lawn. What I learned is 1) The tractor cannot go straight up a hill (and this is a mini-hill) and it cannot go length wise because the engine stalls out. 2) every time I lifted my bum off the chair the motor would suddenly sound like it was stalling out - I thought it was mocking me and my fat ass but maybe it's a safety feature that I overlooked. Hmmmm, something to test out next week. 3) I could do a killer job if my neighbours didn't mind large circle cuts on their property - I have a short turning radius.

Bob was impressed but couldn't stop laughing because the grass looked like a racetrack that had had a car doing donuts. What can I say, it was my first time out. I'll get better.

On tap for tomorrow is our Godson's birthday which I believe we have been invited for except Sue ended up trying to be super mom and has 18 kids invited to the party. Bob and I are thinking that we'll go early ;) She's apparently having a BBQ and stuff between 6pm and 8pm on a Friday night. This way, people can still have their weekend plans without worrying about so and so's birthday. Zachary invited people that he thinks *might* like him so Sue is hoping that the kids show up. *fingers crossed*

Other than that, I'm hoping that Bob and I can just relax and enjoy the day. Course, mine and Bob's ideas for relaxing are completely different but maybe we'll find a happy compromise!

Yeah, I think I'll be at Home Depot for way too much of my day tomorrow. If it happens, I'll get my revenge by going to the bookstore. I haven't been in such a long time.



Online shopping doesn't count.

Thursday, June 15, 2006


I can't stay up much longer because we have a funeral to go to at 10 am.

Nothing to be sad over. The lady was my best friend's great aunt and she lived to 96. She lived on her own and had her wits about her to the very end. We're pretty sure she went in a blink of an eye because she had a panic button and she didn't push it. I believe she had 5 children (some of whom are in their 70's) was married twice and lived quite a swank life.

If only we all could be so blessed.

Anyways, we're still settling in and making dents in the 'to-do' list.

Bob's family is coming on Saturday so I think I will be busy Friday getting preped for their visit. Not only that but the old house needs some trim painted as well as doors. We were planning that for Thursday but I'm never good when my schedule gets mucked up.

The good news is that Bob has started to settle down. He was going to tear out the downstairs bathroom this morning so I took 'before' pictures just in case. I was surprised when I got up and the thing was still intact. Bob said he realized that he didn't need to do a ton of stuff because he's on vacation.

Hey, it only took him 6 days to figure that out.

Not only that, I'm way too familiar with 'contractoritus'. I used to think it was only Bob and I used to call it 'Bobby time'. Someone would ask Bob how long it would take to build and deck and Bob would say - oh, a weekend. At this point I would turn turn to him and say 'okay, that's Bobby time, what is it in 'real' time.' For a while I used to mentally add three weeks to whatever Bob said.

Then I saw a show called 'Real Renos' that follows two contractors and I discovered that there are other men out there that have no concept of what 'real time' is. Thus, the creation of the word 'contractoritus' - if a reno is running late it's because of contractoritus - The absolute belief that whatever project is taken on, it will be completed in a third of the time actually required.

Well, for Bob it's a multiple of three. Our first reno house was supposed to take 3 months - it took 9. The second reno house Bob said 3 months and my father and I secretly knew this meant 9 months. Dad and I were completely at ease during the second reno which drove Bob batty because he didn't know why we weren't done in 3 months.

I've considered explaining about the 24 hour day but wasn't sure how he would handle it.

Needless to say, when Bob said he could have the downstairs bathroom torn out, painted, re-floored, plumbed AND a new cabinet in place by this Saturday, I braced for impact.

Now, I'm much more relaxed. If only I had cut the grass today everything would be fine. I told Bob not to distract me with shopping or going out to eat. Literally, I wake up and wham, I get the stuff on my to-do list done. If for any reason I am distracted, forget it. Sure enough, I got up and Bob took me to the local Tea House.

Mmmmm, scones.

I mean, really, who can cut grass with a belly full of goodness?

Tuesday, June 13, 2006


If you are looking for a post that will make even a smidgen of sense, this ain't it.

You've been warned.

Also, so much has happened in four days that I have brain clutter which means this post is going to be ugly. Ug-ly. Tenses are going to be wrong. There is a sentence in here that is in the wrong place but I can't copy and re-paste the blasted thing so it's just stuck there because I can't for the life of me figure out where else to put it!

So, read further at your own risk.

No. For real.

It's hard to figure out where to start with the whole moving thing but I should just say, we're in!

It wasn't nearly as nightmarish as I thought it was going to be except that Bob has that 'energizer battery' gene that sometimes makes me want to gag him. At one point my family was commenting on the world that Bob lives in. Good thing we've been together for so long or my family might wonder who the odd duck is that I live with.

Bob gets his mind onto something and it's over. He was sorting and doing laundry while my family was finally chillin' after days of hauling boxes, dressers and crap, not to mention doing paint touch-ups at the old house! Everyone just shakes their head and wonders where he gets his energy.

The worst day was yesterday because I was in huge PMS mode and couldn't concentrate so Bob would ask for the millionth time where I thought such and such should go and I wouldn't answer fast enough because I was more worried about whether or not I was going to puke so I finally snapped. To be clear, this means my eyes glazed over and I just stopped. Bob quit with the twenty questions and asked if I was okay. It probably took me longer than necessary to answer because I believe Bob panicked for a minute. Luckily, before 911 could be dialed the speech center in my brain re-activated but, good Lord, could the man give me a frickin' break! Seriously, life does not have to be decided in one day. I need at least a week! Bob's completely different. He needs order pronto and if he has to stay up all night to do it he will. This wouldn't normally bother me but then he gets up at the crack of dawn which rubs me wrong because there should be some sort of impact. I mean, I stay up 10 minutes later than I should and it's a Cindy apocalypse!

Yeah, I think he's just showing off too.

So I keep waking up to rooms completely done and boxes emptied. I have no clue about our kitchen because Bob unpacked everything. I should tell him that means he's the cook but I don't think he'll buy it. I finally told him that he was throwing me off and making me feel like I'm just along for the ride. He keeps saying that stuff doesn't have to stay where he has put it, he's just trying it out.

Yeah, okay.

He doesn't go back to work until next Monday. *whispers desperately* save me!

The great news is that we absolutely love this house and the property. We couldn't be happier without making people sick.

I didn't get the computer up and running until late last night because all the plugs in this house are the original two prong deals so Bob had to swap out the sockets in this room. There are so many projects that need to be done here but that's a good thing for me. I need stuff to think about and I love decorating and design. I think I have redesigned most of the house a couple of times in my head. I know we can't start right away because you need to live somewhere for a while to get the feel of the place. Oh. And money ;)

So, no pictures yet because I can't find the wires to hook the camera up to the computer. You know, little stuff like that. (Little to others but a guaranteed ticket to see my head explode) I've also mentioned to Bob that my DVR needs to be hooked up now, now, now. So far, he is ignoring me.

Right now it feels like we are summering at an old cottage. I guess that'll pass the first time I have to clean the dishes ;)

On another note - we haven't even opened the pool yet because the weather has been on the nippy side. I'm hoping for a scorcher so we can get in sometime this week! I love swimming but it's low on the priority list right now.

That said, my books are calling me.

And I want to answer.

Thursday, June 08, 2006


Ow, ow, ow, ow.

I think I can taste blood.

It's 10:30pm and I'm drenched in my own luscious sweat - yum - itching mosquito bites which I usually avoid like the plague, aching from my tippy toes to the top of my skull.

And the movers haven't shown up yet.

Damn, why wouldn't Bob just let the movers do all the work!

Anyways, we are truly blessed by good friends and family. We had eleven people, two pick-ups and two vans and one of those people unloads planes at UPS - my best bud Sue. Let me tell you, that woman is an ox and she kept us moving at a record pace!

In two hours we got all the boxes moved over along with some weird stuff that Bob decided had to go tonight.

Remember how I have movers coming tomorrow? *shrug*

Bob was impressed that we got so many boxes up the stairs. I got the young 'uns on the stairs and we handed them up in a 'chain gang' kind of way.

The highlight of the night was when Bob and Tom moved the fridge which obviously hadn't been moved since JFK had been in office. The crud behind that. Ugh. Then there were the mouse turds. Double ugh. THEN, I discovered that there was a water pan that somehow spilled water all over the floor and there we created the next incarnation of the bubonic plague.

My mother and I cleaned for a good 10 minutes but I kept gagging. I have a very weak gag reflex as in I can trigger it just by thinking about it.

So, I'm not sure how tomorrow is going to go because I have about 4 loads of laundry that are not packed - I was thinking of taking them over in the laundry baskets tomorrow. Course, that'll be if I can move tomorrow.

The other thing that is playing on my last nerve is that I have cable internet and where we are putting the computer doesn't have a jack and I'm wondering how everything will get back together.

So, if you don't hear from me for a while, rest assured that something has fucked up and I'm without an internet connection.

Oh look, there's smoke coming out of my ears.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Ants In The Pants

Huge thank you to Renee for opening the 'When you moving?' door for me.

Hey, be nice!

This picture makes me wonder about strapping stuff to the dogs and the cats. Actually, I'll be lucky if I don't end up with all four of them on my back in the 'scary new house - Mama!!' I have chickens in the shape of two enormous dogs and two fluffy cats.

Website where I found this wonderful picture - Terrapin - hope it's okay for me to post it here.

My husband walks around going 'two sleeps' until the new house. I'm not sure *I'm* going to get two sleeps because my scheme to go around the clock will be sharply squashed by the lawyers visit tomorrow at 4pm for all that closing mumbo-jumbo.

I'm just going to hold onto my anxiety pills like a blankey and eat 'em like candy. Aw, c'mon, I'm joking!

Okay, maybe I'm a little serious.

If Bob would have just left well enough alone I wouldn't get all that hyped but Bob has invited everyone we know to come on Thursday night to help move a room full of boxes! Now, I hired movers for a reason but Bob defies reason on a daily basis.

THEN, the movers come on Friday to move the heavy stuff - yep, me. Sorry, I'm a little loopy and I think I'm funny. Run with it. All I know is that right now, a bag of tissue paper is heavy to me so I'm feeling all sucky that we're having people come and help lift stuff that I hired people to lift!

Oh, I mentioned that already. I'm just saying.

So then on Saturday - ( for those keeping track that would be three straight days of me *not* sitting on my ass - C-Rex is going to emerge early on Saturday and I know there is going to be carnage. Bob seems okay with that. Grrrr. ) all the men in the family and a hired hand are going to be putting up a chain link fence at the new house because we have dogs and they need a fenced yard. Of course, someone didn't call the cable locate people soon enough so they might not be able to put the fence up. At which point Bob turns to me and says, 'what should we be doing if not putting up the fence?' because, like, there are people coming to help!!

I mentioned that hired hand right? Bob told him to keep this weekend open so Bob says it wouldn't be fair to say, ooops, made a mistake, how about next weekend?

Burn money, burn.

Now you're probably thinking, 'but, Cindy, you're not putting up the fence.' Correct! I have a crew of woman at the old house repainting trim and walls and shit. My favourite thing in the world when I'm PMS-ing and on a sleep schedule that only insomniacs keep! I told my 'peeps' that they are not to show before noon on Saturday because I'm hoping that I can do a coma sleep before everything gets too nutty.

Oh, well, an extra day of work, whoop-dee-do.

No, no, it gets better. Bobby in his infinite wisdom (which I may start claiming is an oxymoron - okay, he's just a moron - lucky bastard that I love him or I'd have to smother him in his sleep) is having Home Depot in on MONDAY to install new carpets in all the bedrooms and the hallway. So it's not like us ladies can have a tea party while we're painting.

Whadya mean you don't have tea parties when your painting!?

You're missing out! Actually I call them tea parties but my mom and her gals are lushes so it's actually a wine party but shhhhhhh, we don't tell the men. I'm just not in the mood to be a ring leader on Saturday because I know Bob is going to be fanatical about unpacking every box it has taken us weeks to pack the friggin' night before!

The only things that are essential - my bed with the right pillows, my books, the TV and the computer. Oh and toilet paper.

After that, I think I'm going to need a nap.

Or a trank.

Good news for you, I can blog my way through it!

Hey, where y'all going!!??

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Oh Happy Day!!

Okay, we haven't moved yet and I haven't packed up the room I'm in but, and this is HUGE, I finished the ATBF column I have been working on for the past few weeks!!

Sweet Mary, Mother of God, I thank you!!

The last reader polls closed just this past Sunday night so I think we (LinnieGayl, Lee and I) did well to have it wrapped up at 5am on a Tuesday morning. Oh, okay, LinnieGayl needs to proof my stuff and then it's off to Laurie for comments and edits but the structure and the information is all there!

If it was just all plain commentary stuff I wouldn't have stressed but because it was numbers and analysis of data, well, I'm lucky that my head didn't implode. I think I had as many as four separate screens running to check publication dates, grades from reviews at AAR, the author's website, the inbox, the original list from the year 2000 and the new list from the past three months. Oh, and the word program that we were writing to. That's seven screens. I didn't want to exaggerate early on but I knew it was more screens than I am used to having open at one time. I don't even want to talk about how to find the original publication date of a book that has been re-issued. Thank goodness for Amazon's search inside the book feature so that I could look at the copyright pages.

Still. It doesn't take much to get me lost and seven screens has me clicking too many times to get where I need to be. As Bob says, I'm fast fingers (settle down) so I end up flashing past screens so fast I can't remember where I left off.

Why am I bitching? I'M DONE!!!!

*happy dance, happy dance, little boogawoo, happy dance*

So here are my choices. Pack up this room or go read Undead and Unpopular.

U&U baaaayyybeeeee!

Oh all right, I'll pack a little bit but the reward, the sweet reward! Uh, at least it better be a reward or I'll be asleep long before noon and that won't get me onto the path of a daywalker!

In case you are wondering I was looking for an image that would scream 'Oh Happy Day!' when I stumbled across this picture of an album by Nana!! Yep, there you have it. My deepest darkest secret. I like Nana Mouskouri. Oh and according to my husband Simon and Garfunkel music is the leading cause of suicide. He's wrong! S&G *sigh*

Monday, June 05, 2006

The Ups and The Downs

I rented Brokeback Mountain and watched it last night.


I'm not really sure I know what to take away from that. I can't get the music out of my head. I would have been pissed if I had seen it at the theatres because I couldn't understand much of what Heath Ledger's character said. I couldn't hear the last line of the movie no matter how loud I set it. Good thing they have subtitles on DVDs. I went back and watched the end and thought 'huh?'. Yep, mostly a head shaker on that one. I then went back and watched a few scenes that I *thought* might have lines and found whole sections that I just couldn't hear. Made the scenes just that much more touching.

Suddenly all those times that people would tell me I was going to make myself deaf by listening to my headphones too loud are coming back to haunt me.

So that was the down because the feelings kind of stick with you.

I'm trying to go around the clock and get back to sleeping during regular hours. I somehow got rooked there a month back and have been sleeping during the day again. So I have been forcing myself to stay up. I'm hoping to reach noon but it's almost 10am and I'm beat.

To help pass the time I read Kresley Cole's short story The Warlord Wants Forever from the Playing Easy to Get Anthology.


I'm loving all these paranormal books that have warring factions. I'm beginning to think I've been missing something all these years by not reading fantasy books. They have wars and stuff, right? Oh, wait. No romance or killer sex scenes. Got it.

The only thing that worries me about Cole's series is that the heroines may all be Valkyrie (dang, can't find the spelling and my eyes hurt) while the heroes will have 'The Mate' syndrome. This story has a vampire finding his Bride which of course means they need to be together forever and ever. The V's don't have this recognition but know their 'true one' if their love opens their arms and they would run forever to get into them. Meanwhile (are you keeping up?), A Hunger Like No Other had a Laykre (shit, again with not knowing the spelling) - you know, a werewolf to you and me and 'lo and behold, they can recognize their mate. Their forever mate.

Can you see where this is heading? A bunch of heroes madly in love with their heroines while the heroines fight like hell to be free but fall in love over time.

Still, works for me.

I have three more books of hers in the TBR pile which is all of 10 books because everything is packed.

I have to keep myself from gorging.

That was the Up part of today. So far, anyways.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

This Is Cool!

I haven't seen anybody mention this so I thought I would parade it on out here.

I saw this over at Strange New Products. A site I found via Maili's link of the day there months ago. I bookmarked it because there was some fun stuff and I go back every once in a while to find out what's new.


I so could have used these when I was a teen and would read all night. I wonder if they really work. They claim to keep shoulder, neck and back pain away! You know, I'm so interested I may have to order one of these books to see how it works. Wow, they come in paperback and hardcover. Not badly priced. I'll have to think on it.

Hey, they say they have literary classics. I may fall asleep like a normal person yet.

Go on over to Strange New Products to check out the 'Pierced Eyeglasses' ow, ow, ow and 'The Hot Dog Penis Roaster'. I kid you not. Just keep scrolling down.

Would the hot dog thing make a good gag gift for a male's 60th birthday? No seriously or would all the men just groan in pain. It would be for my Uncle's 60th and I don't know if I need a bunch of my family gasping in shock and horror instead of falling on the ground laughing. Hmmm, better get Bob to weigh in on the subject. He tends to keep me from my natural faux pas.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Book Shopping

I don't suppose I mentioned that I went to Indigo books online to order Kresley Cole's back list?

Ooops. Didn't think so.

I bought:

You The Owner's Manual because I'm a huge dweeb and figured that I will eventually want to read this book. I'm not sure but, it'll look pretty on the book shelves and maybe I will have some spare time once I move to the new house. *snort*

The Price of Pleasures and The Captain of All Pleasures by Kresley Cole. I keep wanting to grab one of these and just sit and read but I just don't have the time right now. Damn, I can't wait until I have some spare time!!!


I bought a tradesize anthology. Yep, I'm probably an idiot but I really liked Cole's book so I ended up spending the same amount for Playing Easy to Get as for the You book. This one I'm toting around hoping that I'll need to wait for a huge amount of time and get to read at least a short story. Could happen.

I did this on the 22nd of May.

Well, last night I found my gift cards, went back online and looked under the coming soon or new releases section or something like that and I bought more books.

Hi, am I moving this Thursday? Uh, yeah!

I got a notice that two of the three books have shipped - Squeeee! I may have to cancel the last book if it doesn't get here before I move. Yes, I'm a silly monkey but here is what I bought!

Undead and Unpopular by MJD - yep, I did it AND they had it in stock so it is being shipped to my little house as we speak!

Dark Wing Chronicles Beyond the Pale - I have no clue but I saw the second one on the shelf about two weeks ago. I asked the staff if they had book one but, why would a store carry the first in a series? Is it necessary? Apparently not because I can order it over the internet and have it delivered to my home. (On a different note, isn't the cover just sexy. It was the cover that attracted me - actually it was the cover of the second book that got me. This cover is a bonus!)

Finally, Twelve Sharp by Janet Evanovich. I think I had a mini stroke and pressed a button that put this in my cart. It's not on it's way here now because it hasn't been released and that's my story.

Easy, they also had the newest LKH listed but I managed to restrain my neurotic ways. Okay! I'm waiting for Bam's (takes you to her review of Micah which had me howling!) hysterical review which will probably have me buying it ASAP.

I'm such a dumbass.

A dumbass with new books!

Friday, June 02, 2006

Renee Baby - Get the Popcorn Out!!!

Holy Shit!!!

I can't even believe what I just read and I'm laughing my ass off ... OMG!

And breathe.

Someone posted a Can't We All Just Get Along post!!!

Oh, shit, I just peed a little.

The links I would have to post to get you where you need to go. Shit! The Jaynes is where to start but when I hit the CWAJGA (click here last) post I think I died a little. I thought she was kidding but no, she was dead serious and then it just got funnier from there.

Edited: Damn, I just went back to read and she came to her senses and became totally sane. *shakes fist in the air* Just when I thought there was going to be a dust up. Oh well, keep reading this to get to the hypothetical at the bottom.

I'm still trying to figure out where this whole thing began. Whether Sarah McCarthy started it with a post about rabid fangirls or if someone complained first ... I just don't know but OMG - It's a friggin' riot!

Damn, I needed this to help keep my mind off stuff. Just the kind of crap I like to sit and watch.

Cindy's Sum up:

Sarah McCarthy's fangirls have been declared rabid and Lord, I know that most sane people can see a rabid fangirl a mile away. Disclaimer: I have no actually knowledge of Sarah McCarthy's fans and am only reporting what I have encountered out in blogland. If you're reading this and thinking, 'I'm gonna cut this bitch - you are a rabid fangirl - chill.

A whole bunch of denying. A whole bunch (three that I know of) people step up relating their experience and the moderator of the list going 'holy shit!! This happened? Why didn't you say something!'

Then the 'the author is responsible for the behaviour of her fans' argument - especially on her own turf.

And breathe.

That's where I got to but, I just had to come running back here to let Renee (and everyone that is horrible like me who enjoys the whole rubbernecking kinda thing) know if she was bored she needed to head on out (make a right) into blogland.

Here's my hypothetical:

Okay, say you're an author (I'm an author *blink* knock it off) and you have created a series of books that become successful overnight. You have always been on the net so these new fans find you. And they follow you whenever you have 'guest appearances' on the net.

Now, subtle stuff will always blow by me but, if I can read someone's post and think *sing song voice* 'Looney-toons' then I would expect most people of average intelligence would also know they are dealing with a huge stalker.

So you have this fangirl who's spittle from her foaming mouth is actually flying from your monitor.

Do you:

A.) Tell her how much you appreciate her love of your characters but she needs to bring it down a notch?

RESULT: Rabid fan girl becomes anti-rabid fangirl who will now spread her wrath over every internet site in the world to destroy the author who didn't love her back.

B.) Wipe the spittle from your face and grin and bare it because you have a family to protect.

RESULT: No bomb sniffing dogs need to be hired or restraining orders that don't do jack need to be invoked but, people are wondering if you know you have a stalker. Potential loss of sales because freaks are scary and you've aligned yourself with one.

C.) Pat her on the head and say 'there, there, here's a treat - who woves you, yeah, who woves you - okay, go lie down while I talk to a few other people but remember, I wove you the most-est'.

RESULT: No bomb sniffing dogs needed, no creation of a rabid beast of hate running a smear campaign AND having your other fans realize that yes, you know you have a lunatic but you are defusing the situation the best way that you can.

Ding, ding, ding!!!

We have a winna!

If your answer was C then you may just manage to navigate the rocky waters of fandom without having to hire body guards.

Well done.

If for some reason you chose any other answer then make sure your will is up to date.

And dogs.

You need to get some dogs.

And possibly a flack jacket.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Real World

I was over at Renee's blog tonight and saw that she had had some fun re-reading a few of Linda Howard's books. I looking over her list and noting the absence of Dream Man, my favorite Howard, and I start thinking about what it is I like about the story.

I never really have time to re-read but, all of a sudden I have a hankering to find Dream Man which is exactly when the real world crashed into my brain.

Aside to Renee: Sorry about the meltdown in your comments!

The first thing I packed were all my books.

I labeled some of the boxes as 'emergency - Anne Stuart books - Master bedroom' and such, only I didn't label every box because that'd be nuts or hard work, whatever. I was pretty proud of myself for taking the bull by the horns and having the forethought to think about when I was in a new house. What I completely forgot, or blocked, was that everything we were going to pack was going to end up in the room with my books for storage.

So the first thing that happened was Bob went into the room and moved all the boxes I had packed and put them onto the bookshelves. And then he packed. And packed. And, well, look!!

My boxes are in behind all those white boxes!!

I don't know about others but I'm one of those people who can get upset but not have a clue what is upsetting them. I mean, I haven't been that upset but I know I have been feeling sleepy and extremely lazy while at the same time, my leg thump, thump, thumps with too much activity.

So, yeah, everything kinda slammed into me tonight like a truckload of dynamite. I haven't started crying but I was packing up the kitchen my husband put in for me with all the pretty glass and lighting and realizing that I was leaving everything behind. I don't even get to take my stove or dishwasher with me! The house we're moving to has everything built in but nothing is to my taste.

Okay, looks like I'm starting to freak out a little.

I just realized a minute ago that this weekend coming will be the last weekend here at this house!

Yep, I'm wiggin'.

At the same time, I can't wait to move and get settled again so I can sit and read or go swimming or get the laundry done without wondering where everything should go.

Alright, I better sign off before I get too worked up.

My leg is bouncing like a basketball!

So we don't end on a bad note, here's a picture of Amber.

She decided that she didn't want to get left behind and packed herself in a box. Funny thing is I used this box last week to take her to the vet because she was sick. I guess she figures she'd rather move with us then take a chance we'll leave her behind. My vet said how unorthodox it was to bring her in a box - hey, I've tried the cat carrier things but my cats suddenly grow 40 legs and do contortions that have me struggling for 15 minutes to get them loaded into the bloody thing. I take Emma in a laundry basket now because she is too timid to jump out while I'm carrying her but, I took Amber in a box with a lid. Amber was in such bad shape that I was super stressed and didn't have time to even figure out if we owned a cat carrier anymore. Good thing we're moving or I would have gone in carrying her under my arm. Amber loves adventure and would think nothing of jumping out of a carrier. Yep, even in immense pain.

Maybe I should be more like Amber.

Well, I already sleep like a cat - what, they sleep for 22 hours a day or something. At least I have that in common with her ;)