Monday, February 07, 2011

Just a Quickie

Hey, it's early Monday morning and I just finished ballots for the AAR poll *phew* and am about to start my wind down phase of the evening.

I've declared tomorrow Cindy Day which means next to nothing nowadays except - DO NOT WAKE ME!!

Then we'll see where the day takes me after that.

But this is a quick check in because this is the week!!

My Gorgeous Cousin is due on Tuesday so with much love, luck and prayer there will be a new addition to our oddly not nuclear family (My Aunt and Cousin are an extension of the 4 in my family - GC is just as much a baby sister as a cousin and I've told my Aunt she's the mother I didn't have (and yes, she laughed because she totally 'got it'). I'm very excited while having a few pangs of jealousy.

I mean, I chose not to do extreme measures to get pregnant and Bob and I went to an adoption meeting in the city that scared the beejeesus out of us! And really, I'm living the life.

No really, my mom is right when she says I live a charmed life. But there will always be a part of me that will miss or mourn the notion that I didn't have children. I grieved very hard from about year 3 to 5 of our marriage.

That said, I made a choice to be happy and I do believe happiness is a choice. This is not true if you suffer from depression - that is something completely different and I've been there. But making a choice to look at your life as full instead of complaining about all that you don't have.

I think what adds to my sadness is that my brother also did not have children biologically (he is with a wonderful woman who has 2 kids but the kids don't think of us as family and you have to respect that - no Aunt Cindy from those two and no Gram or Gramps for my parents)

So basically this little baby is coming to a bunch of adults that are so ready to see a newbie in the family.

And I'm thinking we'll be fighting over him for months to come!

I'll try and check in later in the week. Have fun reading!


nath said...

Congrats to your Gorgeous Cousin! Hope everything goes well :) That baby is going to be spoiled rotten! :P

Erotic Horizon said...

Well said...

You definately make your own happiness, despite what life tosses at you..