Just a Quickie

Hey, it's early Monday morning and I just finished ballots for the AAR poll *phew* and am about to start my wind down phase of the evening.

I've declared tomorrow Cindy Day which means next to nothing nowadays except - DO NOT WAKE ME!!

Then we'll see where the day takes me after that.

But this is a quick check in because this is the week!!

My Gorgeous Cousin is due on Tuesday so with much love, luck and prayer there will be a new addition to our oddly not nuclear family (My Aunt and Cousin are an extension of the 4 in my family - GC is just as much a baby sister as a cousin and I've told my Aunt she's the mother I didn't have (and yes, she laughed because she totally 'got it'). I'm very excited while having a few pangs of jealousy.

I mean, I chose not to do extreme measures to get pregnant and Bob and I went to an adoption meeting in the city that scared the beejeesus out of us! And really, I'm living the life.

No really, my mom is right when she says I live a charmed life. But there will always be a part of me that will miss or mourn the notion that I didn't have children. I grieved very hard from about year 3 to 5 of our marriage.

That said, I made a choice to be happy and I do believe happiness is a choice. This is not true if you suffer from depression - that is something completely different and I've been there. But making a choice to look at your life as full instead of complaining about all that you don't have.

I think what adds to my sadness is that my brother also did not have children biologically (he is with a wonderful woman who has 2 kids but the kids don't think of us as family and you have to respect that - no Aunt Cindy from those two and no Gram or Gramps for my parents)

So basically this little baby is coming to a bunch of adults that are so ready to see a newbie in the family.

And I'm thinking we'll be fighting over him for months to come!

I'll try and check in later in the week. Have fun reading!