Our Cody Bear

I'm struggling to write anything and I think I'm in shock.

Cody was called to the puppy park in the sky tonight.

After 2 years of hearing he could go at any time it was much more upsetting than I thought it was going to be.

Cody had a grand life of 14 years and 8 months. The last two years weren't perfect but he was happy and sometimes that's all a puppy wants.

Cody had a jealous streak a mile long and if attention was being paid to anything his size or smaller he had to get in the middle and make sure you knew he was there. When Cody could hear he would nudge in between Bob and I if he heard us kissing (and yes sometimes we made smooching noises just to see him try and separate us). When Rocky was still with us you couldn't pet him or talk to him without Cody going out of his flippin' mind and barking the house down. Heck, he was stone cold deaf for about a year but he somehow always knew if Amber was up on our laps. He would wake up from a snooze, lift his head to see what was going on and drag himself up if either kitty was in the area.

Cody was also vain. Attention hog that he was he had to hear how handsome he was. I didn't even think about it until we met our last vet. She couldn't believe how Cody needed to hear how handsome he was or that he was the center of the universe. (Maybe it's our fault as Emma also needs this kind of re-assurance from time to time)

In the end he was just a great companion. Bob and I talked about how we were going to cope without our sidekick. Since we sleep at opposite ends of the clock there are many times when Cody would be a 'jobsite' puppy for Bob or a shadow to me. Having had two dogs for most of our marriage I didn't realize how wonderful it would be to have only one dog who looked to you for fun.

Rocky and Cody together ran me ragged and I won't have more than one dog at a time again. Whatever Rocky did Cody had to follow suit and they fed off each other's energy. When Rocky passed Bob and I turned our attention to Cody thinking he would be horribly upset and adrift. What we didn't expect was for him to blossom and bask in the glory of being the only dog in the house. We used to think that Cody would fall apart without Rocky as he followed him every where but maybe Cody was really meant to be a one dog show.

Now we have no one to look to so our grief is our only companion.

It's quiet here for the first time in years. Cody had breathing problems most of his life and in the past two years panting, snoring, coughing, hacking, what have you were the normal noises of everyday life. Now it's eerily silent. And sad.

But I'm a believer and it helps to know Cody is now pain free, tumour free, running around and chasing Rocky giving him hell for hiding from him for so long.

Good Things

Cody got a bath outside today. It was hard for both of us. Me because he acted completely put out and him because soap was involved.

When he and Rocky were younger we used to put the pool out for them to jump in. Cody would actually lie down in the water and even dunk his head under. Bring out the shampoo though and BLAM they were gone.

Nothing has changed in that respect.

The good news is that Cody no longer smells like way too many dirty feet and is now sporting 'whiff of wet dog'. I dried and dried and dried him and hours later his coat is still damp. Tomorrow is brush out day. He's going to be wicked fluffy.

No matter, it perked him something new. He was all butt dragging today but after his bath he was all ready to do whatever came next.

Cute monkey.

I also got some household stuff done which has been driving me crazy for a month.

*Note to self - you want to wash the exterior of your windows with the hose and windex the screens are filthy!*

Tomorrow I clean the house. I hadn't bothered vacuuming for the past bit because Cody smelled so cleaning up all the fur wasn't working. So everything gets de-furred tomorrow. (Also, Amber has a spot that she goes to when she needs comfort and whenever I go to vacuum she's sleeping there so I don't bother. However, gentle time is over, the chair is supposed to be grey-green not orange and furry.)

AND, tomorrow the ladder to the pool may finally be put in. That concrete with the killer re-bar is the piece that needs to be put into place so that the ladder can go in the pool. Our pool was made by the former home owner and the water level is a foot below where the top of the pool is. Now, try and heft your body a foot straight into the air with nothing but your arms and wrists? Only one person (oldest Godson) is able to do it. I figure it's not worth breaking my wrist over.

So I think tonight I may be able to take my inaugural swim for 2008.

I told Bob I would wait for him but he said he wants me in the pool. Get this, this weekend is fairly nice (rain here and there) so we'll get out with the family etc. Starting Monday the long range forecast shows rain everyday for 10 days. I think it's funny that Bob may not be the only person not swimming while his wound heals!

I also finally made my homemade hamburgers again.

Just in case, here's what I do:

1 lb extra lean ground beef
1/2 a chopped onion
1/2 bag of lightly seasoned croutons crushed with a roller
1 egg
2 Tbsp of milk
1 Tbsp of mustard
Shake in some steak spice

Mix it all up and make into patties.

Tonight I did 2 lbs (doubled everything but decided to add another egg) - made nine patties.

The seasoned croutons pack a wonderful flavour punch that you don't get from the 'seasoned bread crumbs'

I can't wait for Monday next week. We have so many plans over the next few days but on Monday, the house will be clean, all family and friends will have been for a swim and I can totally veg with my current book.

Since I'm not there yet, what do you do to pump up the flavour in your BBQ foods.

What is your favourite summer time dish?

Don't be shy about leaving the recipes in the comments. Seriously.

Chicken breast help would be greatly appreciated! It's either plain or BBQ sauce - I just want more flavour!

Strap In, It's a Doozy

The past couple of days have been stressful and I'm thinking I missed some meds - bad combo.

Higher stress, bad headaches and my brain never shuts off.

Our friends had a 3 year old beagle mix that could barely walk. Finally got X-rays to discover the knee was blown, arthritis had set in and the ligaments were all torn. Operation would have been 3500 and of course, no guarantees that the next leg wouldn't have the same problem some point in the future. Then there was the hip dysplasia and the knowledge that the dog would live a life of chronic pain. The decision was made and as much as her people struggled over it I did too. I kept thinking the dog was too young and in reality my brain is still playing it over and over even though he passed yesterday.

Then there was the new puppy for the kids. The cutest little golden retriever puppy that is a heart breaker if ever I saw one. The logic was that the kids couldn't be without a dog - lots of crying when the news broke and thus, a puppy was found immediately. Another thing that runs through my brain.

Anyways, yesterday was much more painful in that the tumor over Cody's nose has gone over his eye. His eyelid was a half mast all day Thursday and he looked so sad. He was in pain as he would duck your hand when you went to pet him and his back leg is now tripping him up.

So Friday morning I wake up and Cody is breathing so fast I can't keep track. I watch him sleep for a bit and decide to call the vet. I knew Bob was coming home for half a days holiday and that it might be time for Cody to go to the puppy park in the sky.

Now I'm never allowed to be the crying one. It's Bob who gets to be all upset and teary eyed on the way to the vet. I'm like a rock cause really, I think you should be. Bob seems to think Cody knows (what, he can read minds?) what's about to happen. I have no such delusions.

So we get there and I have a wonderful vet who has been treating Cody for the past year and a half. We show her all the new issues and yes, there are some neurological signs that things are progressing. She also notes the tumor has grown since the last visit a month and a half ago. So after all the testing and looking I look at her and say 'it's what you tell us' and she says 'I think he has more life to go'. That's when I started crying. Poor vet got a bear hug from me. She started to laugh and said she was now tearing up (which she was). Bob was quietly happy while I had my moment. She then took Cody back to show an intern the tumor and how it was progressing.

I was so happy when we left with some stronger pain meds for him. I get in the car and Bob's saying to Cody, 'Mom was going to send you away today'. He's lucky I didn't punch him! He said he was just joking but I didn't find it funny.

I just believe as a protector of my pets it is my job to make sure they don't suffer one second. Cody is in some pain but the vet said he is clearly a happy dog. And yes, he is definitely one happy puppy. She said the hope is he will pass in his sleep at home. Here's hoping.

So that has been my past few days of drama. Too many things running through my brain and the relief yesterday was so great that when I went to lay down for a nap I couldn't sleep. I got up an hour later completely wrecked and tired only to go back an hour later. I think I fell asleep at 6pm and woke up this morning at 5am.

Some nap, eh?

The current pictures I have of Cody are on the laptop and I'm on the PC. What a pain in the arse. But if you have ever watched Star Trek then you know what a Klingon looks like.

That's our Cody bear and his mama thinks he's handsome still.

Coming Around

We're on day three of recuperation and I think I may have found my stride again. Getting up at odd hours and crashing at all different times for the last 5 days may have finally got me all caught up on whatever shortages happened over the holidays.

Looks like I'm back to nights for the time being. I enjoyed the daylight, especially today but my sleep cycle konked back out tonight. Meh.

Cody had a complete work up today. Basically he's a medical miracle cause he just keeps chugging along. His face is now slightly deformed as the tumour has come up over his eye (inside so you can't see it). I tried to take a picture of it but you really can't see it, you can only see it in person. I think he had all the technicians and the vet around his back paw. They gave him so many bickies while we were there I was afraid to give him his dinner tonight.

Basically, he's got that tumour thing, the liver looks odd and he has swallowed a sewing needle. Since I can't remember the last time I sewed anything I'm banking it's been there for a while. The vet said I could try giving him more fiber (at which point I looked down at my pup and thought 'what? I'm to give him salad?' and figured he was beyond that) as needles are very dangerous. Yeah. 'kay. Then she admits Cody isn't a candidate for surgery since he can't breath out his nose. I figured.

Oh, we could see that his (dangit, I know the name but can't remember right now) breathing tube or airway is slightly constricted as it comes out of his lungs. May explain why he has always been a heavy breather. People can't help but ask what the hell is happening in the background when I'm on the phone. I'm not sure they believe me when I say it's the dog snoring. The other day I reminded my friend that the excessive noise was Cody and she laughed and said she thought Bob had a saw running.

I think Cody will be much like Rocky. He'll just have a bad day. At least I hope that's how it will be because other than that, as long as he's eating and his tail is wagging I can't see making any huge decisions. The vet did say that the cancer hasn't spread anywhere else either and for as pleased as she looked I was exponentially pleased. Cute puppy.

He might look a bit Frankenstein-ish but his mama still loves him. Bob's a given ;)

As for other things Christmas is almost all boxed up. There are a few things out that need to be put away yet. I'm thinking this weekend we can get a smack down on it.

I realized today that my Dad leaves again for Malaysia on Monday. Holy cow! That came up real fast so I'm scrambling to find out if we're all getting together or if I should have everyone over here for dinner and games. Crazy! Just when you think things are back to normal you get side swiped. My Mom's b-day is the following weekend so it looks like it's family 24/7 again.

Didn't we just do this?

I've grabbed a book and started on it. I'm not going to say anything yet including which book cause if it fails it could just all be me.

Crap. I have to book a doc appointment also.

OH!

Tomorrow is WW day.

Weight Watchers starts officially on Friday as I weigh in and get all that stuff tomorrow night. A few of my friends have decided to try it also. I've never gone with other people before so I'm kind of happy about not being alone at the meeting. We'll see how long everyone else lasts, I know I'm going to be committed to it. I've eaten all my favourite foods for the past few weeks so it's all about to change but by this time next year I'm hoping to be at a healthy weight and not feel like I'm missing huge chunks of food.

Completely do-able.