Strap In, It's a Doozy

The past couple of days have been stressful and I'm thinking I missed some meds - bad combo.

Higher stress, bad headaches and my brain never shuts off.

Our friends had a 3 year old beagle mix that could barely walk. Finally got X-rays to discover the knee was blown, arthritis had set in and the ligaments were all torn. Operation would have been 3500 and of course, no guarantees that the next leg wouldn't have the same problem some point in the future. Then there was the hip dysplasia and the knowledge that the dog would live a life of chronic pain. The decision was made and as much as her people struggled over it I did too. I kept thinking the dog was too young and in reality my brain is still playing it over and over even though he passed yesterday.

Then there was the new puppy for the kids. The cutest little golden retriever puppy that is a heart breaker if ever I saw one. The logic was that the kids couldn't be without a dog - lots of crying when the news broke and thus, a puppy was found immediately. Another thing that runs through my brain.

Anyways, yesterday was much more painful in that the tumor over Cody's nose has gone over his eye. His eyelid was a half mast all day Thursday and he looked so sad. He was in pain as he would duck your hand when you went to pet him and his back leg is now tripping him up.

So Friday morning I wake up and Cody is breathing so fast I can't keep track. I watch him sleep for a bit and decide to call the vet. I knew Bob was coming home for half a days holiday and that it might be time for Cody to go to the puppy park in the sky.

Now I'm never allowed to be the crying one. It's Bob who gets to be all upset and teary eyed on the way to the vet. I'm like a rock cause really, I think you should be. Bob seems to think Cody knows (what, he can read minds?) what's about to happen. I have no such delusions.

So we get there and I have a wonderful vet who has been treating Cody for the past year and a half. We show her all the new issues and yes, there are some neurological signs that things are progressing. She also notes the tumor has grown since the last visit a month and a half ago. So after all the testing and looking I look at her and say 'it's what you tell us' and she says 'I think he has more life to go'. That's when I started crying. Poor vet got a bear hug from me. She started to laugh and said she was now tearing up (which she was). Bob was quietly happy while I had my moment. She then took Cody back to show an intern the tumor and how it was progressing.

I was so happy when we left with some stronger pain meds for him. I get in the car and Bob's saying to Cody, 'Mom was going to send you away today'. He's lucky I didn't punch him! He said he was just joking but I didn't find it funny.

I just believe as a protector of my pets it is my job to make sure they don't suffer one second. Cody is in some pain but the vet said he is clearly a happy dog. And yes, he is definitely one happy puppy. She said the hope is he will pass in his sleep at home. Here's hoping.

So that has been my past few days of drama. Too many things running through my brain and the relief yesterday was so great that when I went to lay down for a nap I couldn't sleep. I got up an hour later completely wrecked and tired only to go back an hour later. I think I fell asleep at 6pm and woke up this morning at 5am.

Some nap, eh?

The current pictures I have of Cody are on the laptop and I'm on the PC. What a pain in the arse. But if you have ever watched Star Trek then you know what a Klingon looks like.

That's our Cody bear and his mama thinks he's handsome still.