Sunday, May 10, 2009
The Week That Was
This week was harder than I thought it would be. Actually the last few have been rough.
My best bud's mom died of Cancer last Saturday where she was tended at home by her three adult daughters. The blessing was how fast she deteriorated once the docs said there was nothing else to do.
I was on the phone every night for an hour with BB just listening to her heart breaking. She's lived with her mother all her life and her mother was truly her best friend. Them being Catholic, when BB got pregnant out of wedlock 7 years ago it was her mother who had her back.
BB came back from out west in November and has been taking care of everything right down to the finances. Her father started before her mother died with 'you can't leave me, you have to take care of me'. Let's just say she's in a tough spot.
I'm so glad I could be there even if it was only over the phone. Bob was gone this week and the visitation and funeral were on Tues and Wed. I was all geared up and ready to go and had even told BB. Bless her cause she knows me too well. Bob brought me back to reality when he asked me when was the last time I drove an hour away from home by myself.
I had suggested I could ask my Mom to go with me but I was worried that she would say 'let's go to dinner' or something else I find terrifying.
So I ended up not going and sobbed myself to sleep Monday while Bob was still home. I never really calmed down from that but I answered the phone and was sure to call BB when I knew she would be struggling.
Today she came out for a visit and I was so happy to see her. She's going to have bad days but she did a lot of her grieving before her mother passed (in private on the phone with me and other friends). We all have our own ways. For two years she knew she could call and cry on my shoulder about anything.
Tomorrow is going to be so tough for her because he mother was the one who would get BB's son to get Mom Day card and gift. I hope someone in her large family thinks to do that for her.
So even though my mother and I aren't close like that at all I'll be more than pleased to celebrate her tomorrow with my Aunt and cousin. I wanted to take them out for dinner but I'm betting it'll be a zoo - we'll see how it goes.
Ah well, the things we do for love.
Hopefully tomorrow night this odd insomnia that has struck me will stop. I lay down when I know I'm tired and I can't stop thinking. The other night I couldn't get this song out of my head and it kept me from sleeping for a long while. (I love the ending where there are so many voices so I used this video) It's call Winter Song and the lyrics are Is love alive (I wondered for a while if it was 'is love a lie').
Normally I can sleep on a dime!
Okay, not true, it has to be a gorgeous bed with a down duvet and super soft sheets with soft downy pillows and a purring kitty and
Posted by CindyS at 3:50 AM