Thursday, July 24, 2008

Me and My Brain

Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is a noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials. — Lin Yutang
Apparently I'm very wise and killer noble.

I'm thinking that's not next to Godliness.


Here's a little sampling of how my brain can get me into way too much trouble. Okay, not outward trouble but the kind that leaves me struggling to just be normal.

I am currently reading a book and seriously, it's so not fair to mention the name or anything because this is all my shit and nothing really to do with the book.

That said, those who have read it may or may not have had the same mental image enter their brains.

1. The hero has been described as wearing cut off jean shorts with a black Tee and sandals.

2. The hero has shoulder length hair and a beard.


Are you sure?

Anyone know a straight man who wears cut off jean shorts?

I'm not trying to be an ass or anything but the last time I saw a man wearing sandals and cutoff shorts was when I was in Toronto with the girls (Nath, Ames and Kristie) and the gay pride parade weekend was happening. Now those men love cutoff jean shorts.

Oh! And of course he's muscular so here is the image I have in my head.

I remember this image differently. I thought the hem of his smock was tattered but I think it's from the movie. Note sandals on feet. Note bulging muscles and tiny waist.

I should mention that this is the shape of the man in my head when authors use descriptions about how the hero's thighs are the size of the heroine's waist or tree trunk. I just don't find that sexy.

I was going to put up a picture of a real life guy but I can't find exactly what I'm looking for. I should also mention that my hubby's best friend who is straight does wear cut-offs but he's in his late 50's so I think he thinks they are 'all that'.

And then, this image popped into my head.

Yeah, the hero now reminds me of Jesus!!


Shoulder length dark hair and a beard.

This all hits me just before the sex scene that comes *good gravy I'm going to hell!* way too early in the book for me.

They don't even know each others names!!!!

And I almost had to poke my mind's eye out when afterwards (yes, I made it through the sex scene - stop laughing!!) the hero put back on his *gah, I can't take it* cut off jean shorts and 'toed' on his sandals.

OMG!! Is he wearing flip flops!!!


And that's all I'm willing to share at the moment.

I'm sure my OCD about the worms in my pool (did they fall from the sky? Why are they in the friggin' pool?) and having to scoop them out would have you calling the local loony bin to come pick me up.

I can't even drink my water right now because I keep thinking about them.

This joyful mess of a brain will probably continue well into fall because I'll have to change my meds which help me from obsessing over anxious situations.

They are also good at keeping unwelcome images from spinning in my brain while reading, eating or whatever.

Damn. Maybe that loony bin guy should come get me.

Anyone else get mental images while reading that they can't shake? I have to take a break from the book when the images get too persistant. Also, any mention of someone having to use a bathroom and I'm screwed up for about a chapter. That's just not information I need while reading! And forget about it if someone is sick - I obsess over whether they brushed their teeth.

Okay, that's enough crazy for today.


Samantha said...

lol Cindy! Kronk! I love the Emporer's New Groove. Now you've gone and made me want to go watch that movie. :P

As for bad mental images from books the that pops up is from a romance book. Where one of the author's chosen word for her hero's schlong was cod. And she loved using the word and all I could picture everytime I read about the heroine reaching down to stroke his throbbing cod was a big slippery fish. Kinda grossed me out. :P

Holly said...

Yep, I sure have. Butch from JRW's BDB?? Totally see him as the pudgy, balding guy from NYPD Blue. So not hawt.

But, my curiosity is killing me here, will you email me the title? PLEASE!?!

Personally, I don't think cutoffs are hot. At all.

meljean brook said...

Oh my god! lol! You are so going to hell :-D

And cut-offs? ...yeah, no. Not on a hero.

CindyS said...

Samantha - OMG, yep, a cod would definitely throw me out of a book. Manroot was another from years ago that I wondered about. Was it really a word?'

Holly - I saw Butch as short and a little heavy also but I loved him - until his own book.

And the e-mail is on it's way!

Meljean - Yep, I'm figuring this one moment in time has thrown all my sins up in the air and landed me in bad water. And just Google cutoff jeans and you get some serious ugly. One picture was so bad I thought about just linking to it and then I couldn't do it. It freaked me the hell out!


C2 said...

Love the quote and have added it to my Quotes file (sad, I know, that I have one)! And love Kronk too. I want him to come cook for me. LOL

I'm sure there are straight men who wear cut-offs...just maybe not as short as the version you saw at the gay pride parade. ;-)

Didn't Suz describe Sam as looking a bit like Jesus in Gone Too Far? I think yes...

Kat O+ said...

Holly, I used to think of Butch (until I read his book) as TJ Hooker. Hehe.

Cindy, that description made me think of Warwick Capper with a beard. Ew! (I'm not going to link to a picture. Just be grateful.)

CindyS said...

C2 - okay, I'm grateful for not noticing a description of Jesus with Sam. I always thought of him as a blond cowboy type and I'm leaving him like that!

And you're right - when I googled cut-offs I saw there are longer ones that look good but I guess I have 'Daisy Duke' length in my brain ;)

Kat o+ - okay, I'll be very grateful! I have enough in my brain without another image!


ReneeW said...

Man, I've been missing your blog. So glad to find I can still count on you to make me laugh. I just can't STAND it when someone in a book is sick and doesn't brush their teeth! I think I just read a book with that (was it Fire & Ice?) and I had to go upstairs and brush my teeth for them. Gross!

Holly said...

OMG! I'm so laughing at ReneeW right now, because that is something I do. I don't do morning breath, either. I'm sorry, but it's just not natural to wake up in the morning and immediately get it on w/o brushing your teeth first. Nasty!

Rosie said...

You and your brain sound completely normal to me. Oh and when I was reading your description of the guy in cutoffs I immediately thought of Jesus. So, there you go, I'm in the loony club too.

CindyS said...

Renee - *hop, hop, hop* I'm just so glad you are back! You make me normal ;) Man, I hope it's not Fire and Ice - I haven't read it yet because it's my 'Break in Case of Emergency Read'. Course, maybe I should be busting that one out!

Holly - THANK you!! I just don't get that. Being me I could see saying 'no kissing and breath in the other direction' but then again, I'm a bit of a bitch. Poor Bob ;)

Rosie - you and me in the loony bin! We'll make 'em cry ;)


Megan Frampton said...

Cut-off jeans--so not a look.

And the beard/Jesus thing only works if he later goes and gets himself cleaned up.

I'm with you--yuk.