Just wanted to let you all know that Nalini Singh's ARC of Hostage to Pleasure showed up today. I want to take a picture of it and post it for you guys because the only ARC I've ever received was in paperback form. This is probably a galley copy (I'm totally guessing). It's 8 x 10 and you have to turn the 'book' sideways to read the print.
I've also realized that I need to wear my glasses as I think the type is smaller than normal.
I've only read about 30 pages and I'm totally completely and utterly in LOVE!!
If only my life wasn't going to be super busy over then next five days.
Bob will be off on tomorrow. It's the one year anniversary of Magoo's death (Bob's father) and Bob wants to go to the cemetery. I told him Magoo is actually in our den and he said 'I know'. This surprised me because he hates when I feel something 'weird' but he has openly accepted what I said.
I didn't say that he visits because I think he does - there is scent that shows up, it's not something I recognize and it's not consistent. I think Bob has translated my 'he's in the den' with the fact that we have his Lazy Boy, his picture up on the wall and a black lab print that was Magoo's favourite.
Anyways, tomorrow will be very busy, Friday night my cousin will come and stay for the night to help Bob with a garage sale on Saturday morning. I'm wondering if I'll get a wake-up call way before I want to get up.
Sunday we have our best friends coming up for a visit around noon - middle of my sleep cycle, but they don't plan to stay for long. We'll see. I'll have something prepped for dinner just in case.
Monday is a holiday so another Bob day and if it's nice out we should probably have my family up for a swim.
Tuesday I'm totally reading. Totally. I just can't wait!! I'll probably be stealing peeks over the next days. I haven't been this excited about a book since before Christmas.
Onto something completely different.
I told Bob tonight that it might be time for me to look for a new doctor. I'm feeling 'unheard' and when I tell the doctor what I want, she throws up barriers.
I'll share since you all know I have anxiety issues and panic attacks.
Basically in the past few months my anxiety has grown worse day by day. To me, this means my meds have stopped working. I can't get my brain to stop with 'obsessive' thoughts. These are the 'what if' thoughts that plague those of us with panic attacks.
Explaining this to my doctor she wants to refer me to an anxiety clinic. GREAT! I'll take any help I can get, seriously.
Thing is, she didn't want to change the meds. Uh, hi. They aren't working. Then she says what would happen if I went back on Paxil (worked fine for anxiety - went off them because I became depressed many years after starting them) and my mood was a problem. I gaped at her. Uh, you told me I could supplement with wellbutrin. My doctor nods and says, yes, that's true but I don't want to exhaust all your opinions. She then tells me I'm no where near exhausting my options with meds.
So. What's the friggin' problem!!??
I know myself better than anyone else so if I tell you something isn't working then it isn't working.
Anyways, we're changing the meds. It won't be fun because I have to wean off and then wean on. That means about 2 months of anxiety hell. But it's important to get well.
I hope the Anxiety clinic will have an opening sooner rather than later. The doc told me how another person went to the clinic and now wants to leave her meds behind because she is so much better.
She couldn't stop talking about this person. I felt like asking 'has she had anxiety since she was 10 years of age? Has she ever become agoraphobic?' I don't mean to belittle the patients pain because I know what they went through but there are more things to look at than just one person's response to something.
So my doc is on probation with me.
I told Bob this and his response was 'Don't take me down with you!!' Cause he loves my doctor as much as I used to love her.
Okay, enough whining.
Luckily you are all busy reading about the RWA bloggers to read my mundane crap.
I'm living vicariously through them.
I have to admit that I'm glad (and yeah, I'm not proud of this) that the weather isn't super warm.
I really don't think I could possibly handle any more jealousy.