Thursday, July 31, 2008

Super Fast Post

Just wanted to let you all know that Nalini Singh's ARC of Hostage to Pleasure showed up today. I want to take a picture of it and post it for you guys because the only ARC I've ever received was in paperback form. This is probably a galley copy (I'm totally guessing). It's 8 x 10 and you have to turn the 'book' sideways to read the print.

I've also realized that I need to wear my glasses as I think the type is smaller than normal.

I've only read about 30 pages and I'm totally completely and utterly in LOVE!!

If only my life wasn't going to be super busy over then next five days.

Bob will be off on tomorrow. It's the one year anniversary of Magoo's death (Bob's father) and Bob wants to go to the cemetery. I told him Magoo is actually in our den and he said 'I know'. This surprised me because he hates when I feel something 'weird' but he has openly accepted what I said.

Now.

I didn't say that he visits because I think he does - there is scent that shows up, it's not something I recognize and it's not consistent. I think Bob has translated my 'he's in the den' with the fact that we have his Lazy Boy, his picture up on the wall and a black lab print that was Magoo's favourite.

Anyways, tomorrow will be very busy, Friday night my cousin will come and stay for the night to help Bob with a garage sale on Saturday morning. I'm wondering if I'll get a wake-up call way before I want to get up.

Sunday we have our best friends coming up for a visit around noon - middle of my sleep cycle, but they don't plan to stay for long. We'll see. I'll have something prepped for dinner just in case.

Monday is a holiday so another Bob day and if it's nice out we should probably have my family up for a swim.

Tuesday I'm totally reading. Totally. I just can't wait!! I'll probably be stealing peeks over the next days. I haven't been this excited about a book since before Christmas.

Onto something completely different.

I told Bob tonight that it might be time for me to look for a new doctor. I'm feeling 'unheard' and when I tell the doctor what I want, she throws up barriers.

I'll share since you all know I have anxiety issues and panic attacks.

Basically in the past few months my anxiety has grown worse day by day. To me, this means my meds have stopped working. I can't get my brain to stop with 'obsessive' thoughts. These are the 'what if' thoughts that plague those of us with panic attacks.

Explaining this to my doctor she wants to refer me to an anxiety clinic. GREAT! I'll take any help I can get, seriously.

Thing is, she didn't want to change the meds. Uh, hi. They aren't working. Then she says what would happen if I went back on Paxil (worked fine for anxiety - went off them because I became depressed many years after starting them) and my mood was a problem. I gaped at her. Uh, you told me I could supplement with wellbutrin. My doctor nods and says, yes, that's true but I don't want to exhaust all your opinions. She then tells me I'm no where near exhausting my options with meds.

So. What's the friggin' problem!!??

I know myself better than anyone else so if I tell you something isn't working then it isn't working.

Anyways, we're changing the meds. It won't be fun because I have to wean off and then wean on. That means about 2 months of anxiety hell. But it's important to get well.

I hope the Anxiety clinic will have an opening sooner rather than later. The doc told me how another person went to the clinic and now wants to leave her meds behind because she is so much better.

She couldn't stop talking about this person. I felt like asking 'has she had anxiety since she was 10 years of age? Has she ever become agoraphobic?' I don't mean to belittle the patients pain because I know what they went through but there are more things to look at than just one person's response to something.

So my doc is on probation with me.

I told Bob this and his response was 'Don't take me down with you!!' Cause he loves my doctor as much as I used to love her.

Okay, enough whining.

Luckily you are all busy reading about the RWA bloggers to read my mundane crap.

I'm living vicariously through them.

I have to admit that I'm glad (and yeah, I'm not proud of this) that the weather isn't super warm.

I really don't think I could possibly handle any more jealousy.

7 comments:

Kat O+ said...

I would hate you, but I just finished Acheron, so I'm feeling pretty smug.

That sucks about not feeling heard by your doctor. I hope you get it sorted out without too much hassle. I can't even imagine daily anxiety attacks.

C2 said...

Okay, so I'm hating you (you know I love Dorian!) and Kat (and I don't even know her). ;-)

If your doctor continues to not listen to your issues or not take them seriously, then I say try someone else. Medical or not, they are still providing a service and if you're unhappy with the service, you let that be known and nothing changes - well, they made the choice, really. Don't burn your bridges, though - think of teh Bob. :o) And it's always good to have a fallback.

Rowena said...

Oh you lucky, lucky girl...I haven't read any of NS books but I know everyone loves them!

Megan Frampton said...

Make sure you listen to your gut when it comes to your doctor--if you know it's not right, and you need to find another one, start sooner rather than later. Or tell your doctor you're having these concerns about her--take Bob for support, if you need to.

And I took the SuperShuttle in from the airport with Nalini Singh, which was cool. She has such an awesome accent.

caitlin said...

I for one, love reading 'mundane crap' that bloggers write about! I always choose blogs that, while reporting on the main theme of the blog (in your case, books) you also manage to throw a little of your RL in there too.
I read a knitting blog, a couple of food blogs, and several book blogs, and they all have that feature where they not only write about their passion, but they give me a glimpse of their lives outside the blog as well.
Having said that, I am sorry you are having problems at this time! I can relate to having a Dr. who will not listen ( my cardiologist). I'd like to try another Dr., but it's almost the case of 'the devil you know as opposed to the devil you don't know'...you know?

Rosie said...

Hey I met Megan Frampton, she's nice!

Cindy, I hope you get your meds squared away. The process is anxiety inducing in and of itself.

BTW, Kristie is a hoot and a half and we aren't letting her go back to Canada. We're keeping her.

Rosie said...

P.S. So jealous of the Nalini Singh book.