Wednesday, October 07, 2009

This One's Personal

I have to write this out as I'm getting worked up the more I sit with it.

This is personal crap so pull the rip cord if you aren't ready. Truly, I'll understand.

I have a Gorgeous Cousin. I call her 'My Baby Girl' and I'm sure I've confused a few people with that reference over the years but I can't seem to stop calling her that even though she is now 23 years old. The good news is she loves her 'crazy' cousin Cindy.

She has truly grown into a remarkable woman. I don't want to say too much about her just in case. I know many people say how wonderful a certain person is but seriously, this young woman is all that is great.

She met a guy when she was young. I'm going to say she was around 17. This young guy was 2-3 years older than her and I have to say he is quirky to say the least. Hey, first love and all that. Only, first love has lasted through the years.

A year ago he broke up with my Gorgeous Cousin and Bob and I were ready to break limbs. Basically GC caught him texting another girl etc. GC was hurt but instead of dealing with stuff the guy dumped her. There were many other things that were going on and the trust issues were enormous.

I'll be honest and say, that although I was broken-hearted for my GC I knew it was going to be a good thing. Within weeks my GC was coming out of her shell, she was more active, going out more and everything. Then she met a hunky guy. Hunky guy chewed her up and spit her out. I tried to tell her not to worry, he was just a rebound and it was going to be okay.

Then the old boyfriend showed back up saying how he made a mistake and saying all the things GC needed to hear. She was nervous to tell us they were back together but once again, we love her and we'll support her so back in our lives he came.

It's now one year later.

I'm praying that something has happened that my GC just didn't want to tell Bob and I about. I'm on my knees people!

The thing about my family members is they play their cards close to their chests. Where I will blurt out anything that happens to me moment afterwards, the rest of my family seems to keep major life changes to themselves. Bob has said on more than one occasion, 'call your mother and make sure your Dad landed safely. Lord knows he be dead and buried before she thought to call us'. Yes, it's dark but it's very close to the mark.

So I'm hoping my GC showed her boyfriend the door. Cause if she hasn't I'm going to have to break her heart. And I'm sick about it.

Facebook can be all that is good but boy, you better know what you are doing. I'm going to call the boyfriend 'asshat' for the rest of this post.

Asshat plays a game I play called Yoville. There is a whole other level of things in Yoville with gifts and messages being left in your apartment (it's like a mini world where you work, shop, decorate (this is where the game snagged me). There is also the other aspect of the game having to do with 'rares' and trading. I have been sucked into the buy/sell parts of the game and have ended up with some stuff that other players just haven't seen before because they are no longer available in the game.

So Asshat comments about 'where do find such neat stuff!?' and I explain only he's family so I was looking out for a few things that were different and cheap.

Tonight I found something and with happiness I zapped into his apartment (people don't have to be online, your avatar stays active in the game) and gifted it to him. Then I wanted to leave a little message about it so I opened his message board and saw a message that was not in the least platonic.


So I clicked on this girl's name and went to her apartment in Yoville and clicked on her message board and YOWZA!!

By this time I can barely breathe. Bob's not home from his business meeting yet and I call him immediately. I start all flustered and upset and Bob suggests this 'girl' is just another name for GC. Uh, no. I know it's not but I decide, sure I'll follow that logic. So I dig a little further and it's not good. It's really not good.

I think it started in May/June and this girl (I'm using the word girl for a reason) is not exactly a woman. So I'm also freaking out about that but she is legal as far as I can tell. (Thank God for small favours!)

In a nut shell, I have to talk to my GC. Once again, I'm on my knees begging that she gave him the boot and just hasn't wanted to tell us. We were with her 2 weekends ago and he wasn't there and I probed a bit but he's lost his job and money is tight and he lives in another city. So, it was logical that he wouldn't be there.


My Dad just got home for a 10 day visit, it's Canada's Thanksgiving this weekend and I have to find time to break my baby girl's heart. I asked Bob if we should wait until after the weekend and Bob asked me what I would do if she showed up with Asshat.


I know Bob would try and hold me back but then he'd also be trying not to beat the crap out of him. We're not violent people so know it's just what we want to do and not what we would do. We're just so mad.

That said, my GC doesn't deserve this. She really is beautiful (she got a bit of Liv Tyler in her and last month Bob opened US Weekly and saw a picture of Kate (the woman Prince William is engaged to) and it was as if it was a picture of my GC). Add to that, what she does for living, the love she has for the people in her life, the time she takes to make gifts for all of us and yes, that fun humour that my family has that others don't always appreciate.

She deserves a man. A grown man who has ambition and priorities.

I once told her she just hadn't found her 'Bob' and that I knew he was out there for her, she just had to find him.

So I guess that answers one of those questions people sometimes ask.

If you know someone is cheating on someone you love, do you tell them.

Yeah, I do. Even though it's going to suck and be horrible.

But maybe, just maybe, we aren't in the loop and things will turn out just fine.

Bob and I will be going out to see her on Thursday night. How I hope and I pray.

Thanks for reading this. I was hoping I would be able to calm down through writing this but I haven't and I can't.

If I'm lucky, I can take the 'Asshat' name back but uh, yeah, he was still dating my GC when he was messaging this girl.



DeSeRt RoSe said...

OUCH! that really sucks.
I would have to agree about telling a friend if her partner is cheating, but I might try talking to him first to get his input before I do. But not in your case! He is a repeater!
I'm so sorry about this happening to your GC, and it seems he is not the guy for her it's not the first time he strays so I think he should get the boot, even if it breaks her heart. Better now than later.
I wish she meets the guy she truly deserves.
Good luck!

Mollie said...

Oy vey! Hope it works out. That sucks. I'm of the same mind. I'd tell my friend/family/loved ones in a heartbeat and hope they'd do the same.

Let us know how it works out!

Rowena said...

Oh wow, he sounds like an asshat. I hope that things work out for your GC and I hope that they're broken up because delivering that kind of news is never fun. It's a good thing though, it shows that you care enough to make sure that everything is okay!

Amy said...

Wow, I really sympathize with you in how to deal with asshat and GC. I agree -- you should tell her, before she gets hurt any further. There's somebody else out there just for her, and there's a special place in hell for asshat!

Bookwormom said...

Wow. Here I was wallowing in self pity & now I feel better because I thought "at least I don't have to do that". Yeah, sorry. Thoughtless of me. Hope it all comes out ok in the end, hon. :( Hugs to all.


Shon said...

Oh heck yeah I would tell despite the backlash you're sure to get but hoping she's broken off with him already so it's not that big a deal for you guys. Good luck and let us know how things turn out.


LinnieGayl said...

OMG, Cindy. This is just awful. I remember you making a comment one day about finding things in Yoville you were unhappy/upset about. This is terrible.