I'm sitting here wondering if I've ever had to do something as bad as I had to today and really I can't remember anything this terrible.
My Gorgeous Cousin was blind sided by the news and it was just all that was horrid. I broke my baby girl's heart and in reality it is bigger than that. I realized after wards that I had really changed the way her life is heading.
God, she was happy and thought that her boyfriend had been really sweet to her recently. They hadn't been fighting as much and things were getting better for them.
A part of me broke tonight. Hearing her cry and knowing I could do nothing but hold onto her and cry with her. The worst was how she listened to what I said. I held her hand, told her how much we loved her but that we had bad news. She listened and then murmured that she was sorry when she started crying. She apologized for crying! My brave, wonderful cousin didn't want to have to cry in front of us.
I reached out for her and she collapsed - we were in the backseat of our car with Bob driving. It was when she said 'I just love him so much' that I broke down and cried with her. It tore me apart. I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about it.
She wanted to see what had been written we drove to our house and we logged on here. I rubbed her back as she read what her boyfriend had written to another girl. And we left her to have some privacy while it all sank in.
She doesn't know what she's going to do. That was hard. Bob and I have definite ideas of what she should do but we let her know that any decision she made would be supported by us.
As of now, she doesn't plan on confronting him because it's the long weekend up here and she doesn't want to ruin her Thanksgiving. And here I am, wishing that I had waited until after Thanksgiving now. Bob said it would have just been harder if I had waited to say anything. I don't know. I broke down after we left her alone for a bit in the den - we went into the living room and I started to sob. I asked Bob if there was a special place in hell for what I had just done. Bob, loving me the way he does, got mad and told me to never say anything like that again. But I wonder.
I changed the course of my Gorgeous Cousins life tonight armed with only love and hugs. I don't know that that was enough.