Bob had to go to Montreal so I've been staying awake to get his calls. I like to know when he gets to the hotel and we'll talk on the phone while he is on the train. (Remember, he no longer flies - he learned from me that I will never fly and he decided he could live life the same way. I don't fly because of good old fear - Bob used to take planes but I think he thought it was a mandatory part of life - not so my friend - I told him this on our first date - I got all my crap on the table so he would know what he was getting into) Anyways, I'm going to crash in the next little bit but thought I would give you a brief update.
Brief.
Yeah, right.
I bought booties for Cody's paws yesterday because he's been climbing the walls and it's way too cold for him to be out without protection on his wee paws. Sure enough today he is not himself (has been sleeping like a baby all day and limping a bit) so we didn't venture out. I'm a little worried that now that he has slept all day he is going to keep me up all night. Oy!
I decided to try a new to me author from my TBR pile and discovered a dud.
I picked up The Dark Highlander by Karen Marie Moning.Are you ready for this?
I stopped at page 36 because I thought my head was going to explode - not from rage, just from sheer 'you have got to be kidding me' shit.
1. The hero is from the past and has a Scottish brogue with all the 'Och and lass' words swirling around him. Blergh.
2. The book opens from a woman's point of view who is not the heroine but the current bed partner of the hero. You know that he is all man and lust inducing but you know, scary. Yep, this scary man calls her 'lassie'. Double Blergh.
3. The heroine finally shows up and she is obsessed in a very bad way with all ancient artifacts. There is some back story about her Scottish grandfather and such.
Oh, oh, I forgot to mention that the hero catches a glimpse of her getting out of a cab and thinks 'She was the kind a man kept'. Yak.
4. And here is where I decided this book was definitely not about to get better. This obsessed heroine gets distracted by all the flashy artifacts in the hero's house while he is not home. She basically ransacks the place (not really) in her eagerness to look at all his loot and goes into the man's bedroom and climbs under his bed (where he has hidden stolen books - don't ask). At this point the author has made her character so unappealing to me because at that moment all I can think is that she deserves anything that is coming her way. I can't think of anyone who would act in such a manner and yet, the author has decided I would believe this woman has not a wit of sense or for that matter has any clue about personal boundaries. Yetch. Sure enough the hero finds her and drags her out and has to tie her to the massive bed to keep her from telling on him.
I dropped the book when the next scene opened with the hero thinking 'She was the kind a man kept'.
I don't think there is enough money in the world to tempt me into finishing this book.
Feel free to make offers though.
12 comments:
Oh! Your faux review reminded me that Marianne reviewed this for AAR; check it out, it's a hoot. I think she hated it as much as you did, and she had to FINISH it.
I've read a couple of her books and they weren't bad and I think I have this one somewhere. But with so many other books I want to read more - chance are I may never get to this one. And that sounds like a good thing!
Nice cover though!!
LMAO!!! When I read reviews like this, I always wonder why I like these books. Sometimes crazy cheese is good, especially late 20 year old virgin cheese. :P
This one was a DNF for me, too, only I stopped reading even before that scene. But... I did like Kiss of the Highlander, much to my surprise. I wonder which of them is the fluke?
Argh!!! I tried posting and blogger told me to eat my cookies and drink some java or something like that. What a pain.
Anyhoo - I'm not gonna give you any money, but I liked this book. I liked "Kiss of the Highlander" more and I just wanted to read more about that hero. He was HOT! Then again I thought the hero in "Dark Highlander" was HOT as well. They were twins so that makes sense. Anyway, there's no accounting for taste and I'm sure my reading pleasure was ruled by lust. :o) In fact, out of all KMM's books, these two were my favorite. Until Darkfever which really isn't everyone's cuppa tea. Maybe I'm daft.
All that said, I couldn't really argue with anything you said. I guess there's no accounting for what passes for entertainment where I'm concerned.
OH! Have to add one more thing. I think the other reason I liked "Dark" was because it continued with the storyline that had begun in "Kiss" and I found it interesting.
The subject of the Dark Hallows continues in "Darkfever" and that's probably one of the reasons I liked it.
Okay. I think my work here is done. I'm off to eat cookies and drink coffee, as commanded by blogger.
oh I'm glad! I thought I was the only one who didn't like this series! :) I don't know, what bugged me was the writing style I think cos I didn't even read as far as you Cindy. Only read the end :P
Sometime cheese is good...really scrumptious cheese with men from long ago Scotland with thick Scottish brogues who live in Modern day New York, trying to escape his past all the while trying to find out how to get rid of the evil demons residing in his head...
...oh I just love it! haha.
Megan - oh my! I just finished reading Marianne's review - poor thing ;)
Kristie - I thought this book was the start of the series so I was surprised when I went to read the AAR review to find it's like the 6th in the series. Ooops. And the cover is exactly why I bought this and Kiss of the Highlander (this one has a good grade so I might try it some time). I liked ths cover so much I bought two copies by accident. Uffda!
Ames - I'm glad you liked it! I think I wanted the character to be so dark that he couldn't utter words like 'lassie'. That definitely through me off!
Rosario - I have KOTH in the TBR pile, I'm just going to wait for the taint of TDH to wear off before I give it a try ;)
Jenster - I'm glad you enjoyed it! Hey, I like books that make peoples eyes roll back into their heads in pure horror ;) Like I said to Ames - my dark hero does not say things like 'och and lassie'. You know, Garwood did Scottish heroes and not one of them ever used these phrases - okay, maybe lassie but I'm pretty sure only the priests said lassie.
Blogger is being a real bastard lately. I've probably just jinxed myself for the next week!
Nath - you are not alone! Course, I was hoping to find a new auto buy author. Ah, well.
Rowena - seeing as how Diana Palmer is one of my guilty pleasures you won't find me casting stones! Cheese is fun - which is why I was still reading Evanovich ;)
CIndyS
I've tried Moning several times and just can't get into her.
"Och and lassie" are overrated.
...Fi
Ok, remember when I blogged about my Voice Mail issues and MM had left me that one VM, singing a certain song?
Well, whenever I read TDH, I always picture it as a movie, with the opening credits rolling to that song. ;)
Anyway, I love all of KMM's books. Which is really odd, because I'm harder on heroines than anyone I've ever met, and hers didn't bug me too much. Maybe because I was so wrapped up in the story (and the sexy heroes) I just didn't notice.
Or maybe I just accept them for the cheese they are and move on? LOL
I read this.
I finished it, and I hated it. I even blogged about it about it over a year ago, sometime in 2005. I actually MISSED the taxi cab scene because I was skimming so madly, so then when he mentions it at the end, I had to *sob* go back and reread the beginning.
Not my favorite experience.
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