A Day of Peace

I got some serious stuff done today.

Edited: I was going to add some pictures to illustrate how I am feeling but I can't get blogger to accommodate my needs. That's my kind way of putting it. I'll spare you my actual thoughts on the subject.

I managed to tidy up the middle room (where the computer is) to the point where we can now see the bed. Too bad the bedding needs to be washed.

I got all those Christmas gifts laying around the house crammed into my closet. Hey, where there's a will, there's a way. Also, found my second set of pillowcases that I have been missing for about six months and it is hard to clean your sheet set when you have to time the pillowcases between Bob getting up and me going to bed. Trust me. A genius would have had a hard time getting the timing right. I should note that my drier takes 2 hours to dry most things because it is eons old and is on it's second motor. To dry the king size duvet it takes 3 hours and it comes out wet in spots. I'm afraid to let it go too long because I have marks on the duvet that I thought were burn marks but I am beginning to suspect that the marks were made with fabric softener. Damn, they should warn you about stuff like that! Hopefully in January we are buying a top of the line washer/dryer set because I have never had a new set before and I am cheap so I usually run appliances to their death. I'll pay the money up front to know that the units will last at least 20 years.

Wow, that was a nice detour.

Bob came home at 2:30pm today after a doctor's appointment and took me out to run some errands.

Christmas cards are mailed. Megan, you should see something from me soon. I didn't label them with care because if I did, you wouldn't have seen them until Christmas next year. And could I find a book? No. Okay, I didn't have time to hunt down a book but I knew you would understand. Stuff for the new year and such.

Two more Christmas gifts were picked up - phew!

We finally decorated the mantel and the white tree and I like it. I like it a lot. Still won't touch the tree but it looks pretty.

I vacuumed! (Suisan, did you get that ;)) It's only been a few weeks because I have been thinking the reno in the basement would be done soon and then I would clean like a fiend. Turns out, the doggie fur balls gained lives of their own and I was forced to beat them into submission.

By the way, my dogs have now moved onto hardbacks. I've decided to stop caring. I know. It's paper and trust me, they have eaten worse. I think it is anxiety and no matter how many new tasty bones I give them they will turn to the books when their thinking goes wild. I sometimes wish I knew what they were thinking but then, I might go mad.

I've decided the oldest dog Rocky is deaf. I may have mentioned it before but, I noticed it over the summer. Over the past week I have begun to rethink my diagnosis and now I am convinced he is just ignoring me. It's funny how he can hear one thing but not something that should be no problem. I've also found it amusing to be able to walk up behind him and observe the things he does. We have never been able to sneak up on our dogs because they could hear a pin drop. So no matter what, their attention was always on us. Now it's nice to stand by Rocky and watch him sniff the wind while he is outside. Or watch him stand in the middle of a room and bark at nothing. We used to think they would bark to get our attention. Now I realize, Rocky just likes the sound of his own voice.

I accidentally scared him the other night because he was so darn cute snoring on his bed so I went over to give him a hug. I touched his fur and his head came up but I guess he didn't expect to see me. It's a good thing dog's can't scream because he would have broken an ear drum. I felt horrible to have startled him, so now I call to him before I approach so he knows I am there. Then I will touch him on his back, just in case. Rocky has never bitten anyone but I can't imagine not being able to hear so I think he might get grumpy if he isn't warned. Luckily we have no children to torture him!

Guess what?!

There are no workmen coming to my house tomorrow. *happy dance - cat flees the room* It's weird having people in your house and then I need to sleep so there are people in my house while I am sleeping. Weird. Anyways, I don't have to wait until 10 in the morning for these guys to show up! I'm going to go to bed at *my* normal time. Yeah, I can't wait until all this is done!

Oh, and I am so over peanut butter sandwiches. I haven't done a decent grocery shop in about a month and I have been existing on PB sandwiches. I have discovered that there really can be too much of a good thing. I don't know if I will ever be able to eat peanut butter again! Special note to Meljean - I have been singing the peanut butter jelly dance song all night. No, no, Thank You!

On yet another note, I will try and read No True Gentleman because Megan and Rosario were kind enough to give me some input. I will also be reading a book on how to change my idea into a product. Hey, I'm all about reading.

Doing, not so much.

Yikes

Anyone else ever use Amazon to get recommendations for books?

I have 28 recommendations.

That's it!

I used to get hundreds but they think there are only 28 possible books out right now that might capture my interest! I have never run out of recommendations before. I'm freaking out again.

Funny thing is that it just reinforces my feelings that there are no books coming out that I am looking forward to. This past year has been a bust as far as new releases go. It used to be that there would be at the very least *one* book that I would want to buy in a month. Now, I hardly recognize the names of most of the authors who are being published. I think the next book I want to buy comes on in May!!

It's 9:30am and I'm wide awake.

I hate to think how I am going to pay for this later.

Edited: I asked it to look for coming soon books. Loretta Chase has one in January and then Anne Stuart (thank you!) has on in Feb. The other book they have for me is Micah by LKH - uh, no. So, I have two books to look forward to.

Nervous tick, what nervous tick!?

Ho-boy

I'm bored. Gah.

It's never a good thing when I get bored. I have avoided suggesting it for the past few weeks but it's beyond that point now. B-O-R-E-D!

Now, my ever loving husband likes to offer suggestions at this point like, you could do laundry, decorate the tree, wash the floors. These helpful tidbits are normally met with a growl. No shit there's plenty of stuff to get done but, I don't have the energy and the fact that there are people crawling all over my house is driving me to distraction. Boredom seems to be a mental problem for me more than an action problem. Sure, I can get stuff done but my mind is not occupied. I need to do something challenging!

I can't even rent a movie because my DVD player is downstairs in reno hell and I figured it would be more of a hassle to dig it out than to wait until they are done next week. Still, I'm freaking out here!

Bob has learned to jump to when the word 'bored' comes out of my mouth. I am usually whisked into coat and shoes and dragged out to do something that will occupy my mind. It is rare for me to get bored so when I do it is that much more upsetting. Bob, the yellow belly, drove his ass to work before I could tell him I was bored. Course, he would have raced out the door if I had told him ;)

I hate this feeling but I am hoping that I can get a few things done that will skip this out of my system. I have so much to do but I am overwhelmed by the magnitude of the disaster surrounding me. I just got the middle room bed cleared off two nights ago and it is covered in stuff again!

Now, I have seen those crazy organizing shows and I am in no way as bad as what I have seen but, at the same time I wouldn't mind someone coming in and creating a new filing system to get loose paper off this desk. It seems I have crap everywhere. Thing is, I know I would throw half this stuff away and never miss it. It's Bob who seem to be more of a pack rat. I'm hoping once the basement is back together that we can do some purging of crap.

Sharp Turn

I have a piece of lipstick red leather that I bought over e-bay when I was going to do handbound journals *snort*. It's been in the closet for a year. I wonder if I should try and sell it on e-bay. At this rate, it's just taking up space and even though I spent 150 bucks on it, getting any money for it now would be better than just letting it rot in a closet.

Hmmm, maybe that'll be the project to tackle today!

As for books, I tremble in fear. I went to AAR and looked at the reviews for Carlyle. A Woman Of Virtue was listed as an A- so I am thinking of trying that book. The others ranged from C- (Candy Tan rated Beauty Like the Night the same as I did but was better at explaining it!) to B- so I thought I would try a keeper graded book and see if I have an luck. Anyone want to suggest a title? Megan suggested reading a newer book but I'm not sure which to pick out of the pile.

So, here's what I got.

One Little Sin
No True Gentleman
A Deal With The Devil
A Woman of Virtue

Gimme your best shot!!

Beauty Like The Night

Beauty Like the Night written by Liz Carlyle was published in 2000. I feel like this book could have come from the 80s!

Backblurb from Amazon.com

The daughter of London's wickedest widow, Helene de Severs has struggled to overcome her heritage. Renowned within Europe's emerging psychiatric field, Helene has a gift for healing children. When fate sends her back to England, the country she left in disgrace, Helene is confident she has learned to govern her own reckless emotions.
Ruthlessly, Treyhern has dragged his notorious family from the brink of ruin. But a disastrous marriage has left him with a traumatized child, and his rebellious brother is just one step ahead of the bailiffs. When his dissolute father drops dead while debauching the governess, Treyhern's infamous temper is truly tested.
But the forceful earl means to straighten everyone out -- as soon as he has hired a reputable governess. Yet the moment she steps from his carriage, Treyhern's cold reserve is melted by a rush of desire he had long thought dead. With her elegant clothing and mountain of luggage, the woman is not who he expected. Or is she? Sometimes the workings of the mind are as dangerous as those of the heart. And soon, danger is truly everywhere...

You may recall that my first problem with the book was that there was a child in it. Well, the child is in it so very little that she was no longer the problem.

Helene and Cam were torn apart 10 years before the story when Helene's mother, Cam's father's paramour, discovers them in an unfortunate position. Helen's mother knew pressing for marriage would not work so she had Cam's father pay for an education for Helene. Cam, apparently had no knowledge of this.

So 10 years later, Helene is hired as a governess for a girl who will not speak and who most people fear is simple. Helene has garnered a reputation over the years as a healer of children and thus, she comes back into Cam's life as the young girl is his daughter.

Any reader who has read romances as long as I have will know every trick this book pulls out. I have read this story one too many times and the problems that plague these characters are all well trod. It may have been a fun little escape into a well known area except for a disturbing thought pattern by the hero.

It was at the half way point in this story that I realized there was something well off about the so called hero in this book. These two people had been allowed to run wild with each other and when they were teenagers everything changed. The problem was that Cam, as well as Helene, blamed Helene's passionate nature for turning Cam into a raving sex pervert. Helene at many points tells herself that Cam could not be blamed for losing control with her because she pushed him beyond his limits. Cam also notes how Helene's passionate nature can drive any man to believe that she should be his.

WTF!?

I began to feel like I was reading the thoughts of a rapist. A man who would look outside himself for the reasons that he could not 'maintain control' of his actions. For a man who was supposed to be responsible in every way, it was disconcerting to see him blame all of his failures on Helene. That Helene decides she pushes his buttons makes the reader feel like they are in the head of a co-dependent. Someone who needs to explain why their mate is so hateful.

Not that anything truly hateful happens or for that matter that a rape happens. It was just disconcerting to be inside these people's heads.

So here is my problem and I'll use spoiler tricks which means if you want to know you will have to highlight the area to see the words.

I *knew* that Helene had to be a virgin. She had to be. Why? Because there was no way Cam would have been able to deal with it if she hadn't been. He thinks about how she had to have been with other men, that her passionate way would have led her astray. I knew this device was coming because I could see no other way around it. Not only that, after the deed is done Cam asks her why she didn't tell him. She is perceptive enough to say 'Would you have believed me?' He answers 'yes' while internally hoping that he would have. I wished in that instance that I could physically harm this guy. Dude, you would never, ever, ever have believed her and God forbid she had actually met anyone and had a discreet affair because you would have lorded it over her for the rest of your Happily Ever After lives!! Not only that, Cam tells her how he never stopped loving her and she mentions how he had obviously found other women to bed. Cam says yes, but it left him wanting. Oh, well then, that don't count. You can screw whoever, whenever you want and not have to worry that your heroine will be a jealous pig. Blech!!

So this book didn't make me gag out loud or anything but it has made me gun shy of reading more Carlyle. I think I will read a more recent story but with a title of One Little Sin I am worried that there may be more instances of heroines blaming themselves and heroes who are too happy to flay them with their faults. Yetch.

The only character that I felt curious about was Cam's brother Bentham (because he was a bigger mess than Cam) and even then, I'm not sure I want to read his story if there was ever one printed.

I'm going with a C- for this book. I kept reading because I was waiting for the club to come down on the hero's head. Carlyle is a good writer but if I read another one of her books that is so stereotypically an 80's romance I won't be reading another!

For Renee

Cody sends his sincerest apologies. Followed by lots of doggie kisses and slobber. You have to admit though - he has great taste!

Looking for the Spirit!

From the White House website. Photos of Presidents and the Christmas tree.

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. - Harlan Miller

Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. - Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933) 30th US President, Republican

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year. - P.J. O'Rourke

Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal." - Lenore Hershey

"There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas."- Robert Lynd


There we go! Getting some perspective on the holiday season.

I heard on the news that some government body up here in Canada was thinking that maybe they shouldn't be calling their tree (I guess it is on gov't property) a Christmas tree. They are thinking of renaming it a Holiday Tree. I may just throw up. We are one of the most PC countries in the world and I love it but, c'mon! A holiday tree? What's next? A menorah will become the Holiday Candelabra? I'm just saying.

I changed the tree lights on our holiday tree and nobody died. I'm not sure how I restrained myself but, my miserable 5 hours of sleep may have something to do with it. Bob's one lucky boy I didn't have my sass up!

I have popcorn ceilings in my basement (did you catch that split second topic change - on a dime I tell ya!) and I *hate* popcorn ceilings. I mentioned this to the contractor doing the insurance work and he quoted a price to remove it that was a steal because Lord knows I'm not going to scrap the stuff off. So, they started that today.

It drove the dogs batty. One barked until they had to stop, which is when the other would start. They did this for 5 hours and there was nothing I could do to get them to stop. Also, the guys were listening to music which would not normally phase me because for the most part, once I'm asleep, waking me is very hard. So the dogs are howling and then there is this low thrum that lasts for hours. If I could have recognized a song I would have been okay but it just sounded like a low alarm clock to me. Then there was the scraping noise. I think I blacked out at 2pm and I woke at 5pm to a quiet house. I went to bed at 12:30am tonight thinking I would sleep through till morning. Got a whole hour! I'm freaking myself out!

Keishon has decided, for those of us who begged her, to keep her Carlyle TBR challenge open for December. It's amazing how giving me a goal can get me focused. I have had a hard time just deciding on books to read so narrowing it down to 5 possibles made for easy math. I chose Beauty Like The Night. I learned the heroine is a governess 3 pages in. There's a kid in my first Carlyle!

I'm rolling with it.

I notice that I am short on attention span now and I know why (December and all) so it's quite weird to be reading and thinking 'when are they going to get this figured out!'. The H/H have had 2 scenes together. Anxious much?

Liz Carlyle is an excellent writer so I am hoping that this book grows on me as I read but, I may find myself tossing it aside for a childfree book. We'll see.

I'll have to see what tomorrow brings in way of sleepiness. I know when I shouldn't be driving but I do want to get out and get the rest of my shopping done. Since Bob's gifts are the ones stressing me out now, I'd like to take the morning to go pick them out.

*mumbles* Stupid sleep cycle.

General Doom and Gloom

I caved.

I did it thinking I would be able to divert Bob's attention from slowly driving me insane. You know the houses, the work in the basement (haven't told you that - mercy!), another possible reno house, etc.

So this year I gave in.

We officially have an artificial tree. It even has snow.

Yep, there it is. Mocking me in it's artificiality. This is the first time I have ever put up an artificial tree and I am not taking it well.

Now, I know we have some odd ducks in the crowd, who, like me, enjoy the smell of new books. Just so happens that I enjoy many smells and a real Christmas tree is just one of the many joys of the season. It smacks of....

Oh, all right. The snow is freaking me out! I mean, there was a movie called White Christmas where the actors all got throat cancer from the asbestos snow flakes they were covered in. (hmm, may be a myth because I can't find anything on the net but I think I heard about this in school and from my Dad) So yeah. I put the lights on this thing and ran and had a shower. I asked Bob to do it but he said he wasn't the professional tree decorator. Just so you know, I have never been employed to decorate a tree so I'm not sure how I got this special title but there you go.

You'd think if they could make an artificial tree covered in snow they could make it smell like, I don't know, a freakin' pine tree! Yep, I'm whining.

Oh, here is another delight.

This is how we put the tree lights away last year. Aren't we the brilliant pair!

I pulled these apart (an hour of gleeful fun) and tested the strings. Then I put them on the tree. Problem is these are meant for a green tree so I can just see Bob getting up tomorrow and suggesting I remove the 600 lights I put up and go buy white strings.

I may make the front page yet. Woman strangles husband with tree lights. Heard mumbling 'white, he wanted me to change them to white'.

What else is happening in my humble abode? Glad you asked.

Every single room in my house is completely demolished. Okay, some haven't been demolished but they look like they have sustained heavy damage. The room that has received the brunt in my den/library. My poor dogs have had to be moved from the lower floor because the floors were torn up and we didn't want them to use the contractors as chew toys. So here is a night time picture of one of the boys. Take special note of the white bits on his bed.

Aw, isn't he cute? That's why he is still breathing ;)

For the first three nights he would grab down Connie Brockway's All Through The Night. I would pick it up and put it up where it belonged. I would come in later and there he would be sleeping with it again. So I decided, what the hell, at least I have read it.

For some bizarre reason he got sick of cuddling with it and began to eat it. Cover first.

I kept it together. I didn't holler or raise a stink. He's just a puppy. Doesn't know any better. Then he ate one of Bob's magazines and I had a silly grin on my face because now he was ruining other people's stuff. Tonight, those shreds of white you see are from a Katherine Kingsley book that I can't even remember the title to but, I am pretty sure it is rarer than the average book. A book trading friend took the time to track this title down and send it to me. I'm crushed but then I look at his cute face and realize, he's crushed too.

Not about the book. He's crushed because he doesn't understand why he has to be upstairs in a smaller room or why there are strange men going into his domain. For the first few days this room reeked of sweaty dog butt because both of them were stressed out from having their daily routine changed.

I'm stressed out from having my daily routine changed also. I hope my room doesn't smell of butt.

Anyways, just thought I would say that there is no surface in my house that has not got clutter or crap all over it. Not only that, the Christmas gifts are starting to pile up. I have always managed to keep the Christmas gifts in my closet until they are wrapped. Yeah, by Dec 1 it's hard to find a sweater without knocking over a pile of gifts but at least they did not impact my visual awareness. Now they are beside me in the computer room which just reminds me of all the work I have to do. Some are in the hall waiting to be shoved into the closet and my desk looks like this!
I don't know when I started to hate clutter but it is beginning to take over my life! That's part of the reason why Bob wants to move. I think half the stuff on this desk could be filed somewhere but my file drawers are filled.

Crap. Just thinking about this makes me want to take a nap.

Okay, off to pay some of the bills. Anyone else sick of the over abundance of junk mail they get? Me too.

Falling for Anthony

Falling for Anthony is a novella by Meljean Brooks in the Hotspell anthology.

All I can really say is WOW!

I'm not a gusher. No really. Unless you're Anne Stuart I try not to gush. Uh, there have been other authors I have gushed over but, I try not to do it too much because I'm afraid of coming off as a rabid stalker fan.

Long story short, I stopped buying anthologies a few years ago because the stories were becoming so short that I didn't believe in the HEA that they depicted. (Should mention it is 10:30am and I haven't gone to bed yet so I hope I will be coherent) H/H would know each other 3 days and wham, love, marriage, HEA. I just couldn't buy into the fantasy anymore.

Why did I buy Hotspell?

Meljean's blog.

Okay, and maybe the cover. Oh, but the price alone would have made me back off the cover so it is definitely because of Meljean's blog. Hey, I'm nothing if not specific.

So there you go, blogs do work.

I'm not going to sum up Meljean's story because it really is complex for a short story. It's the first time in years I have finished a novella and felt like the H/H were going to make it! This was not a story that happened in a few short days. Brooks was able to create a realistic timeline not just by saying a few months had passed but by having the heroine and hero go through life changing moments during their time apart. Can you believe that I would start to get anxious because the characters were apart? It's a novella and I still got anxious! That's good story telling.

I have to mention the world building. (authors will correct me if I am wrong because maybe it isn't world building as much as an alternate reality .... can you tell I haven't slept?) There are demons, guardians, the middle guys nosferatu who are evil in the extreme and they can create vampires who aren't evil. Cool. Then there is Heaven and Hell. Yep. I got all that AND a love story. Sweet.

Okay, I have to sleep.

Edited: It's almost midnight now and the day from hell will soon be over. I created this post this morning after deciding to just stay up until the contractors got here instead of going to bed at 4am and getting roused from sleep at 9am. The guys were late. Really late. At that point I was into the over tired state and it took me a while to calm down. I'm figuring, 4 to 5 hours of sleep this afternoon. I'm about to climb into bed now but wanted to get this up before I drifted off.

I'm not sure if this has come across in this post but, this is the type of story I *used* to buy anthologies for. This was the way that I discovered Anne Stuart (what, did I mention her already?), Linda Howard, Justine Davis and Connie Brockway. Back then short stories were a vital part of finding new authors. Nowadays, it feels like if the publisher can throw a *hot* name on the cover then they don't care about the quality. Just write now, faster, c'mon we need to make more money! And that is probably a whole different post. Let's not even bring up the subject of so called erotic anthologies. Bad Boys? Please. Again, another post later.

So, bravo to Meljean! I enjoyed your story and the sex scenes you wrote were hot! (aside: that first sex scene, holy crap, you about killed me! And because it wasn't followed by a 'oh, it was perfect and I love you and we must always be together' moment it completely worked for me.) I will definitely be out scouting for you next book!

I would write more but I don't want to hit on any spoilers for those who haven't had the chance to read it. I am looking forward to the other entries in the Anthology and for those on the fence, I will be reading the rest over the week (a story a day if I am lucky) and will report on the overall quality of the book. With Emma Holly in there, I'm thinking there is at least one more really good read. I'm also excited to try Shiloh Walker's story.

Okay, I should head in.

Final Decisions

I have a hard time every year buying for Bob. I usually buy 3 big gifts and then we do stockings. So I think I have finally figured out the gifts.

Number 1


Bob loves Calvin and Hobbes and while out shopping this special edition hardcover set caught his eye. It was listed at $200.00 and I was in a bit of shock. I took note however, because it's not often Bob wants something from a bookstore.

I ended up ordering it from the same store only online. It was $127.00! This is where I think people need to know what is going on. My parents who shop in stores wouldn't know to look online at Chapters.ca to discover the major discount that they can get. I guess it really is buyer beware. Still makes me want to grind my teeth.



Number 2

This is the piece that Bob found just this weekend. He has been looking for a Hamilton Beach milkshake machine for years. There are the originals but they can be as much as 400 bucks. Not only that, the old ones are usually green (and not the new pretty colour) and give me flashbacks to my waitressing days and they were not pretty.

This is sooo new that there is only one site that I can find it at and seriously, if you love kitchen gadgets you should go check this site out! Also, check this page out to see all the colours you can buy this new line in.

Bob's all about quality and this beautiful piece made of metal and not plastic is just what Bob has always wanted. I was trying to see if I could find it in another colour or even on sale but I think we were lucky to have seen one at all! Looks like I have to go out this week.

Number 3

Oh, alright. I lied a bit. I have not been able to decide between these two things. Bob has asked for the jobsite radio/battery charger to the left. Pretty. I think he really needs a demolition hammer drill pictured to you right.

Now, so far, every tool I have ever bought has turned out to be the best thing since sliced bread. On the last job I insisted on buying a Nail gun thingie. Yeah, I know, technical. Anyways, this thing puts up baseboard, casing, everything lickity-split. Hell, I can even do carpentry now!

The only other thing I insisted on is a special nailer to put down hardwood floors. Bob wanted my dad and I to pre-drill and then gently nail every tongue on a piece of oak strip. I got exactly one piece done in an hour. I was fuming and kept saying we needed to get the special nailer that I have seen the DIY shows use. Bob kept saying there was no such thing. Well, I went looking and sure enough I found the nailer, rented it and got that floor laid in less than the year it would have taken me otherwise.

Bob has insisted ever since that he didn't say it didn't exist, he said, Depot didn't have it. Yeah, Depot can kiss my .... ooops heading into dark territory there. So very, very long story and no shortening in sight, I'm thinking of getting him the jack hammer thingie. I mean, we already have a radio and all the drills we have come with rechargers so it's kind of a wasted thing.

Oh, oh, did I tell you that I could buy cartridges for the drywall screw guns we bought! I know! You're doing the snoopy dance! No? 'What the hell am I talking about?' you ask. (c'mon, the curiosity is killing you)

That was another Cindy suggestion. They make these special screw guns that drive a screw into the drywall at the perfect setting once you calibrate it. See, dad and I were famous for going too far in (tearing the paper, bad) or not going in far enough so Bob would be working behind us and that's just a waste of time. Therefore, drywalling was an art form that my dad and I could not do and once again, it would slow our progress. So I see these screw guns on TV (OMG, this is a Bob Villa video where you will see them using these screw guns - too cool!) and I'm all, we so gotta get these! Turns out to be a great purchase because even a tool like me can't screw it up.

The only thing is the guys (Bob and dad) bought the guns and they bought the cheaper ones where you have to load a screw onto the bit every time. Turns out you can buy cartridge holders (not like the one in the link but you get the idea) for the screws so you would literally get a room done in about 20 minutes! Sweet! Apparently the cartridges separate from the drills cost 600 bucks. Ouch. Now, if it had been me buying those guns, I would have only bought one gun and it would have had the cartridge.

Ah, well. I'm obviously perfect and must suffer fools. *snort*

See the crap you can get away with when your blog is anonymous? On that note, I'm going to go and google the name of this blog. I may be easily found by those who decide to go looking. In that case, I may have to start changing everyone's names!

Edited: I just priced out that demolition hammer and Santa's decided it's a no go. Funny how I see stuff and just think, hey, I can get one of those. Doh. And I think I am golden on the whole, 'no one can find me' thing but that's always the kiss of death so...I'm not saying anything.

Christmas Shopping

Here come some serious revelations about my character.

When I was a poor, poor student it was all I could do to buy Christmas gifts for my family. I had 7 people to buy for but, I would try and spoil my cousin who was still a kid and my parents because they spoiled me. Now that doesn't seem so bad but, 5 of those people had birthdays in November and December. My mom's was in January and by then my credit card was too clogged to get her much. So, there were twelve major gifts to buy and I made minimum wage while paying my way through university. To say December was a hard month financially is an understatement.

Then I met Bob and my list grew by a whole, whole bunch. Twelve more major gifts were added to the mix and then I had to buy Bob Christmas gifts also. Early in the marriage things were tight and when we got hit with Christmas it took us almost three months of bill re-arranging to get through the holidays. Back then my Grandmother did Christmas cards in the tree that were opened last. There would be her $20 to get ourselves a little extra something. Gram spoiled us rotten as it was but that $20 would get Bob and I groceries until payday back then. Thank God for Gram!

Now, I may have mentioned that Christmas is not a delightful time for me because my brain likes to throw some chemicals around for shits and giggles. Holiday shopping just seemed to ramp up that almost manic anxiety. I think this kind of shopping lasted for the first 5 years of our marriage.

Here's where I should mention that for some reason, mall's are horrifically hot for me. More so at Christmas time. Yeah, you want your employees comfortable but most people have to go shopping with warm clothes on so, standing in lines 20 deep waiting for your turn in a winter coat that causes rivulets of sweat to pour between your cleavage is a recipe for disaster.

Attention to Mall management: Turn on your frickin' air conditioning and make sure your employees are properly clothed in warm attire. This will keep the crowds from turning on you. Course, it just could be me that gets the overwhelming urge to start physically moving people the hell out of my way so I can get out of the store ASAP.

Bob has seen one too many of these episodes and it ain't pretty. I was once a cashier so I know that there is a certain amount of time that needs to be spent checking someone out but, I used to be able to blow through a line in minutes compared to the one customer per 10 minutes that these malls seem to be running at.

So, too much heat and I get bitchy. This wouldn't be a problem but then I get mouthy. Not loud enough to get caught because I try to be sympathetic to the people who are checking us out but, if there is a line of 10 people and there is a group of check out girls (you know you've seen them) all standing at the next till over talking about anything except the fact that a till needs to opened, well, I get loud. Zellers where I live blows so bad at this that they have actually been standing at their till while telling someone to go to an empty till because someone will be there shortly. Meanwhile, this other person is moving shit around and acting like she doesn't see you. Yah, things get said. Uber bitch comes out and she's not worried about not getting heard.

Tonight, at American Eagle Outfitter, I just asked quite politely if the other girl (who was standing at her till doing what she considered work) was open. The girl turned to her and asked and she replied 'you're almost done with your customer'. I didn't even hesitate, I just walked my ass over to her till and dropped my stuff with a huge smile on my face. I'm beginning to think that there are people who don't want to work the tills. Me, I loved working the tills when I did it. Made the time pass much faster.

This is a long story to get where I am going! Anyways, for the past five years Bob and I have bought our Christmas gifts all throughout the year. That way it would cost us about a 100 bucks a month, we weren't shopping in crowds and we were usually done by end of October. December would be wonderful because we would actually have money not only to eat, but to go out and buy ourselves something fun after Christmas because we weren't flat broke!

For some reason, that plan got blown to kingdom come this year. I'm not sure what happened, oh wait, I remember now. We *couldn't* shop because all our spare time was being sucked up by the reno house. Phew, I'm actually glad that I just realized this because I was calling myself all kinds of names for not starting early. Now I know it wasn't because I was lazy!! Woohoo!

Oh, and I'll mention now that our Christmas list from 10 years ago seems like a dream now that our gift buying list has grown exponentially over the past 8 years. My friends are not allowed to have anymore kids!

So, this past weekend Bob and I are forced to go out to the malls. I didn't know what kind of a mess we were getting into but I prepared like I was going into a building on fire. That's right. I wore shorts and the skimpiest tank top I could find. Bob couldn't stop laughing but he thought it was a good idea to keep C-Rex (other people use honey and cutie pie but this nick name suits me to a T) from emerging while we were out. (I had my winter jacket on so I was warm because my legs can take quite a beating.)

We arrived at the mall to discover that every parking space was filled. Bob realized we were in trouble right off. I just figured we were on the wrong side of the mall. Anyways, he finally parks and off we go to the doors. I entered the mall and quickly tied my winter coat around my waist. The looks I got were hilarious but I didn't care.

The people. OMG. Intimidating! We've obviously been doing the right thing for the past few years because holy crap, people were hanging from the rafters of the building. But, I am keeping focused, not panicking (serious work to keep that in check while surrounded by way too many people) and need to get some shopping done. Guess what? I was hot within the first 20 minutes in the mall. I don't say anything to Bob because he would insist we leave and we need to get some stuff done. So off we go, beating our way through the throngs of people to get to some of the stores. Turns out some of the stores were hotter than others. I didn't know how Bob was holding it together but then he has never had the same problems as I have.

Twenty minutes later Bob turns to me and says we have to leave. 'Oh, are you okay?' I ask. 'No, you could fry french fries in my pants.' Point made. We booked.

I've been smug about my short expedition ever since. I wonder if I'll be smug when I get pneumonia?

Pity Post

I'm a woman with champagne tastes and a water budget.

No. I got the saying right.

Lordy, I'm getting tired just thinking about the bends that are going to happen in this post. Buckle up!

Eleven or so years ago I met and fell in love with a man named Bob. Bob lived in a little bungalow about 5 minutes from my parent's home. I spent my entire life living in two story homes. (not the same one because we moved a few times) Now, I was a bit of a snob but, the fact that the house Bob lived in was once the family home of his first wife was a bit off putting and I said I couldn't live in his house. The house search began that year but there were major budget constraints as Bob did not want to have a huge mortgage. Being a person who never owned a home I supposed that Bob was right.

Everything that we saw that year was so horribly depressing and downtrodden that when the year was up and we were going to marry I moved into Bob's house. I made short work of changing the decor of the house and soon people were oooohhhing and ahhhinng over the changes.

Still, it wasn't my dream house and Bob had decided that it wasn't his dream house either so we continued to look at other houses.

Ten years and we are still here.

Our saving grace is that we have bought and sold 2 other homes that we renovated and flipped with our real estate agent so he has received 4 commission sales off of us and that's more than most people do in a lifetime with one agent.

Living here wasn't bad until last year when Bob, while being sick with pneumonia, was forced out of bed and into our little shed to get our snow blower out for our neighbour. The shed is in the backyard and it takes a while to let the snow blower warm up and then you need to trench your way around the house.

Bob snapped.

Suddenly the house was too small and there was no garage and our neighbour's were changing over and the new people were setting up campers on the front lawn. Bob was a bear. Thing is we had already bought the reno house so I said I wasn't looking until we finished the other house.

Well, that house closed and my life is now a living hell.

Bob found a house that is the splitting image of my parents house which you would think would be good only, these people bought from a different builder who upcharged for every change so the house was not of the quality of my parents. Didn't matter. Bob was sold.

Suddenly, I'm feeling like Cruella DeVille because I don't really want to move to this house.

It's 20 years old and nothing has been done for upkeep. Guess what? These people are moving to a brand new home! No wonder! The carpets, trim, kitchen, windows, garage door all need to be replaced. It's just something that home owners have to do and these people (the lucky bastards) have decided to move on instead of updating.

So, Bob is pumped and says he wants to see the house again. Fine. I'll go and if Bob is moving then you better believe I'm going with him. I'm just seeing a ton of work to get the house up to snuff.

Damn. I knew my train was going to jump tracks! Hold on!

Bob and I paid off our mortgage a year ago. *trumpets blare* Yeah, we were stoked. Bob wanted to be mortgage free by the time he was 40 but there was this divorce thing so he ended up being mortgage free when he was 45. Pretty damn good. *big happy sigh*

Yeah, all was good until Bob decided we had to move. Now, I'm a logical girl and my math skills are pretty sweet AND you can't get something for nothing unless you are Paris Hilton or some other richy poo who doesn't need what you got but you give it to them for free anyways because their hawt. I'm not Paris Hilton and neither is Bob.

Bob wants a bigger house with a big garage with a big lot. No mortgage.

That's right, my brilliant husband whats some free champagne! Now, me. I would buy my dream house in a second even though we would have a mortgage. We can afford to buy a brand new home with all the stuff we want but, we would have a mortgage.

So, no.

Let's see if we can find that other track.

*grumbling, other house, not keen, no mortgage...ah!*

While revisiting this house we are set up to see another house.

Yeah, I know.

Welcome to the life of the 'significant other of a hobby house shopper'. (Bob gets grumpy when I tell him he is a hobby shopper - c'mon, ten years people!!)

Bob's thinking about what we are going to offer on the house until we pull up outside of the second house. I'm already in love. Bob falls in love.

We go inside and everything is country. I don't like country but, whatever, I can redecorate. The house has a soul which I so didn't feel in the other house. Bob is sold. I'm thinking we may have done it.

Then *I* get slammed by the asking price (emphasis on I because Bob already knew what they were asking). Whadya say? Are you friggin' kidding me!? But, then I'm thinking it's okay because we can go in and offer firm and we might be able to get it. Problem is the house has been on the market for a week so they are not going to accept our offer because they haven't even had an open house. Not only that, the house is 18 years old and there are some issues.

Remember the no mortgage man? He's saying we can buy it and all I can think is that Bob doesn't want a mortgage and this will tie him to a job he hasn't been enjoying for a while and, well, okay, I started panicking (not a panic attack, just normal stuff).

The story ends with Bob flip-flopping between which house he would like to live in and me saying forget the first house because I'm not moving there. By the time we hit our driveway (5 minute drive) I've decided I'm not moving anywhere and I'm never looking at houses again.

Bob calls our agent to get the lay of the land on the second house and comes to tell me that the agent thinks the house will go for asking price. I was thinking 40 grand below asking.

That's it. I'm done. Tears are being shed because I don't have a job and don't contribute and well, pity party erupts.

On that note, I'm not looking at any more houses for a very long time. I can't say never because I have before and Bob has wheedled me into going but, I really don't need to look at houses that we aren't going to buy because we'll have a mortgage. Hey, if we are going to have a mortgage then I want to buy a lot and have our dream house built. That idea has been falling on deaf ears.

Pity party is now over. Well, I haven't started singing yet. (Get it, fat lady, singing ... am I the only one who thinks I'm funny? Yeah, I thought so.)

We Got Good Gifts and Bad Gifts

I have done two types of baskets that have gone over really well with family and friends.

Each start with a wicker laundry basket which I have found at Zellers. I'm not sure there are Zellers in the US so maybe Target (I'm very jealous of these stores) or Walmart would carry them.

For my brother and his girlfriend when they moved in together and for our friends Mark and Sue I did a kitchen basket and I bought everything from the dollar store.

Spatulas (like 3 heavy duty ones), wooden spoons, measuring cups, dish clothes and dish towels (actually Walmart sells nice ones for a fair price), measuring spoons, tongs. For Mark and Sue I bought a huge non-stick wok like pan because Sue's was on it's last legs. Baby Brother got the rest of the dollar store in his basket. Plates, bowls, salt and pepper shakers, juice glasses.

This gift worked for my brother and girlfriend because they were starting out and weren't married or anything like that so no showers or wedding gifts. For M & S, they very often go without as many parents do and since I cook with Sue all the time I knew she was in need of some serious kitchen implements. They were both very happy.

The first incantation of the gift basket happened two years before that. I did one for my mother which was filled with her favourite bath products, face creams, perfume, books etc. My aunt's was also filled with much the same but with a few bath products that are for display purposes. I think I may have added a craft to her gift because she appreciates that kind of stuff. The third I did for Helen. Again with bath products, soaps, chocolates, wine and a framed copy of her favourite soliloque from Shakespeare that she had spent a year perfecting. Each basket had a touch of something for the specific person.

How did this fill up a large basket? I also made bath pillows from small travel pillow forms I found and sewed covers for from face towels I bought at Zellers. Hey, I own a few so I'll run and take a picture! It is the only craft that I have ever seen Martha Stewart do that I knew I could do also. Okay a chimp could do this but gimme a break!

I'm not sure how this will turn out because it is kind of hard to see. You basically take a 12" wide towel and fold it almost into thirds. As you can see the folds end 2 inches before the edge. (Pic 1). You pin and then sew the two short edges closed. You now have a pocket. (Pic 2)

Now, you have the pillow form:

So you stuff the pillow form into the pocket on the back:

And Voila!

Yes, there are two pillows in the picture above because I thought it looked better with two. For a more masculine feel, I found a stripped towel with dark brown and a toffee colour. I may make one for my brother's family. Hey, your not family until I've made you something wacky for Christmas.

Now, I should mention, that before you think I'm all that, most of my crafts come off as a great joke. One year I decided to plaster a few clay pots. I was expecting a nice smooth finish that I could paint all nice and rustic. No. The stuff hit the pot and basically dried on contact. I figured what the hell, it was art. My mother, aunt and Gram couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes after my mother opened the gift. The laugh was on my mom because I told her I expected to see the pots in her garden. They lasted five years before the plaster finally gave up and fell away from the pot. One night we were over and I was saying how artistic the pot looked and that if my mother wasn't careful I might be forced to make a few more. My Christmas gift that year was a framed picture of the pot. Classic. I know that picture is around here somewhere. I'll have to see if I can find it. Damn, I can't.

Now for some zany and yes crude fun (you've been warned):

For the jealous writer in you. A perfect gift for the writer who shines so bright she is stealing your light.

For those of us waiting for our knight's in shining armor. Let's give 'em some guiding light.

I know! Why didn't *I* think of this. So bloody clever. I kinda want one.

Be sure to keep some of these handy. I mean, he needed the light to find you and you are bigger than...

Oh, for those of us not willing to commit! Tatto tape! Where can I find this stuff? I could look super cool without any pain. I wonder if people would know it wasn't real?

But I just can't resist awarding the dumbass gift award. I just didn't see this one coming. For 8 bucks of your hard earned money you too can have a minute of fun before becoming abysmally bored of your new toy. Course, we're women. We'll give the men an hour.

That's right. It's the Pro Thumb Wrestling Ring. That's it, I'm done. I officially give up on humanity.

Crap I just saw this while hooking up the links and I think it would be friggin' hilarious if it doesn't kill someone. Namely me. By being beaten to death with my own limbs for scaring the beejeesus out of 'someone'.

Bob'll never see it comin'.

On a whole other note.

Hi, my name is Cindy and I am a Blog Aholic. (My time thingie tells me I have been working on this one post for 2 hours. Course there were a ton of pictures and I needed to take them and then I had to search through a gigantic box of photos and got distracted by pictures of my basement when it was beautiful. Then there were puppy pics and kitty pics and pics of my Godchildren when they were babies. Not only that, I wasn't nearly as fat as I thought I was back then.) Am I in denial? Gonna need a verdict here. Am I obsessed or is this normal. Weigh in.)

Book Meme Stolen from Jay

Jay came up with a book meme where you pick 15 or more book things about you. I have read Jay's list but I have a bad memory so I hope I won't steal any of her ideas although I remember nodding my head to some of them.

Here we go:

1. I read almost completely from the romance genre. I have wandered out into horror and comedy-mystery but for the most part, if there is no romance in the book, I'm bored.

2. I buy books about arts and crafts, decorating and building that I have yet to read. I have an entire shelf of books on decorating and organizing but I haven't pulled them down yet. I want to do them justice and I don't think just glancing through is reading the book.

3. I add to the above collection whenever the mood strikes me. If I see a book that has great pictures of rooms or homes I love then I buy the book.

4. If a store has 14 books that I really, really want I think nothing of buying them even though I know my TBR pile is enormous.

4 1/2. If a store only has one title I won't buy it unless I have been looking for the book for ages.

5. I prefer new books to used books. I discovered this when I started to lend books to one of my friends. They would come back and they were obviously read. I have to fight the urge to go and buy these books again new.

6. Now that I am in a booktrading group I have faced my fear of used books and it no longer bothers me.

7. All the same, auto-buy authors have to be new.

8. I fold down the corners of the page when I need to stop reading.

9. I have tried bookmarks but if you knew me you would laugh at my efforts. There are days I can't find my car keys, let alone something that I might be using from time to time. Also, when I made an effort they would fall out of the book and then I would get grumpy.

10. I take books every where I go.

11. My husband woke me up at 4am because he was having trouble breathing and wanted me to drive him to the hospital. I got dressed scrubbed my teeth and ran into my book room and grabbed a book I knew would hold my attention. The nurse came in, saw Bob sleeping and me reading a book and said 'at least you came prepared'. You bet your ass!

12. I prefer dialogue to pages and pages of introspection.

13. I can't seem to get into books where the H/H have sex at the beginning of the book. The sexual tension gets lost.

14. I don't want to read a book with children. I used to not mind until I read a book where the 7 year old girl sounded like a old wise man. Nope.

15. Secret baby stories blow.

16. I avoid reading books where the ratings are subtle or kisses. I need hot sex in my books.

17. I have never been a person who felt the need to finish a book I didn't like but, lately, the loss of money because of the bad book purchase is starting to creep up. Let's not even talk about trade size books that turn out to be meh.

18. I buy multiple books by the an author I have never read based on recommendations and reviews. I have tried to stop this in case I discover I don't like the author's books.

19. I alphabetized my bookshelves and have completely freaked myself out. I can't stand in the room for too long because the shelves look funny to me. I like the eclectic look.

20. I think I have bought a romance book for it's cover but it has to be damn good. This year it was Liz Carlyle's latest. I have yet to read Carlyle and I have 5 of her books.

21. I don't believe I have ever bought any other type of book for the cover alone. Otherwise I would have millions of non-fiction books in my house and I don't read such.

22. I have gone out on a limb to try these so called erotica anthologies by Brava and have found most of what I have read to be tempid at best. I have yet to read an erotica that works for me. This from a woman who likes sex in her books but I think what I really want is sexual tension.

23. If they published a book on blog topics, and memes I would probably buy it.

24. I have bought cook books that I have never read. Okay, I read them but I don't like fish and many of the low fat diet books deal with fish. Yetch.

25. I recently packed away a bunch of books to make more room on my shelves. Again, it's freaking me out. My husband is now looking for a house where he can build me a library so I never have to pack books away again. It will save him money because with me, out of sight, out of mind. Duplicates.

26. I will skim over descriptions of rooms, clothing and food being served. Most of the time, the scene is already set in my head. Also, reading about food makes me hungry.

27. If a H/H has a physical attribute I don't find appealing I forget about it. My husband has a mustache and beard but I don't picture heroes like that.

28. Heroes of all books look the same in my head. There are two. One is lean and wiry while the other is bulkier. I don't prefer the bulkier guy but I like his character traits. More protective and gruff. All of Anne Stuart's heroes look wiry in my head. Butch from Dark Lover by J. R. Ward is the bulkier guy in my head.

29. Now that I've admitted that, I don't know how heroine's register in my head. I guess I think of them as my perfect ::cough:: 19 year old self. When all the body parts were great but I didn't know it.

30. I have two books on hand-binding books because I was going to start making leather journals. I never finish anything I start business wise so now I have these books for something I haven't done.

31. My newest books that will probably mock me from the shelf are on how to get your idea into product form. This time I figure I got a winna! I just know nothing. Actually, I know less than nothing and I even went to university. For History. Good thing I didn't study something as weirdly obtuse as business (I had no clue what one would study to major in business) or I could've done some serious damage by now.


Okay, I'm not sure I got the gist of the book meme but this is where I got to. I'm starting to think I may be revealing way too much about myself ;)

Wait. I did write those friendship posts.

If Angels Burn

Edited: Sorry about the layout of this post. Blogger won't save the spaces for some reason so I have changed the colours with each paragraph so you don't get overwhelmed.

Woohoo, finally found some me time. Okay, most of the time is *me* time but this time I got to sit and read.

Lynn Viehl's If Angels Burn

The saving grace for this story was the heroine Alex (Alexandra) Keller. Course she was also a bit of a pain. Let's start with the blurb:

She Restores the Light of Hope.

Dr. Alexandra Keller is Chicago's most brilliant reconstructive surgeon.

He Dwells in Shadow

Michael Cyprien is New Orlean's most reclusive millionaire -- and in desperate need of Dr. Keller's skills.

A New Dawn Awaits Them Both

Beneath the foundation of a mansion in the heart of the Garden District, Alexandra will perform an illegal surgery. Her patient's disfigurement is beyond medical repair. But his body's ability to recuperate from his wounds borders on the miraculous.

Alexandra knows Michael Cyprien is no ordinary patient. Intrigues by how his remarkable physiology might benefit medical science, she is even more compelled by his presence -- and the mystery surrounding him and his associates, a cadre of immortals who call themselves the Darkyn...

Some first thoughts. This is not exactly a romance story although I am assuming the book ends HEA. I'm not sure exactly if all the characters that we have met will have continuing story lines but I am guessing not. For example, we won't be seeing things from their POV any longer.

The blurb is of course deceiving.

The opening of this story is brilliant and Alex is obviously someone so dedicated to her very real work of reconstructive surgery that she eats, sleeps and breaths it. No question, with her upbringing and her absent brother she has made surgery her home and she works hard at her skill. Viehl brings this aspect of Alex's character to full life. You meet her patients and you feel her dedication to helping them anyway she can. Even when she knows that for some, they will not have a great life.

This leads to a mysterious offer for 4 million dollars to fly to New Orleans to operate on Michael Cyprian. She considers it for a full 2 seconds because of all the pro bono work she could do but decided against it because it was obvious this guy needed a new face to escape authorities. So you can see here that we have a smart, overacheiver heroine.

What happens next, a kidnapping and then a made up disease that would explain this man's fast healing and a riddle for a doctor. She's not happy to be kidnapped but does the surgery. Things go bad and Michael attacks her.

It was at this point that the story kinda fell apart. We experience what can only be called the Rapture through Alex's eyes but it is weird in it's imagery and hard to follow where everyone is standing.

I found this to be a problem for the rest of the book. Especially the climax which was over the top and reminded me of a movie ending. By this I mean, I could actually see how this was written to appeal to an action movie/vampire crowd. I was no longer in the story but watching it from afar.

Alex is lippy to say the least but she is a character who seems to runaway all the time. I don't know about you but if I was suddenly turned into a vampire I would be sitting and asking a whole bunch of questions. Instead, this intellectual woman goes about figuring out what is wrong with her through her medicine. Okay. Maybe getting as many facts as possible and then doing the medical research would have faired better. Just saying.

As for the romance it was the typical, 'I made you and you are mine' for the hero Michael and 'I'm not going to be your slave for eternity' heroine. There was no friendship built between these two characters so when love was declared I was skeptical.

The other part of the story, which was the whole reason the Dr. became involved with Michael, was the idea of reconstructive surgery. Michael literally has no face when she first sees him. Alex reconstructs his face based on a painting of him. She has to re-create the bone structures in his face and move the muscles and create eye-lids and the whole bit. Now, the reader knows he is a vampire or Darkyn and thus, heals but I was just creeped out every time Alex noticed what a good job she had done on his lips or cheeks or some such thing. It was peppered throughout the story to the point where I didn't really *see* Michael. I just don't know enough about reconstructive surgery and much of it is phenomenal in real life but, they can't fix everything. So how did she create lips? Were they a different colour from the rest of his skin like most people's lips are?

I have the next book in the series which I *think* is Thiery's. After knowing what he has gone through it is hard to think of him as hero material. Heck, most of the character's shown in this series are far from hero material. Except for Phillipe but then, I would guess his story would be boring. From the spine of this book, it says it is a paranormal series. I hope that there is more romance in the next book and I *know* there will be less thoughts about reconstructive surgery, if I'm lucky!

Also, I should mention that this book is not for the faint at heart. I thought I had dealt with some gruesome stuff reading Laurell K Hamilton and yes, I have skimmed over parts I couldn't deal with but how these Darkyn are tortured is unbelievable and sickening. We're used to our vampires just healing. These Darkyn heal but they heal around damaged bones and such so that they are completely damaged and yet there are no wounds on the exterior. Neat take on the idea but, gah, painful.

Books!!

Holy Cow!! An actual post about books. Have aliens landed? If they have, can I send them over to your house because I need some time to read before I get zapped.

I finally, and I do mean finally, found Hot Spell. Woohoo! Was it in one of those gigantica stores? Hell no! That would be to easy. I found it in one of the smallest bookstore I have ever been in, in a mall I visit maybe three times a year. Ah, well. I got the book! Side note, I have only ever read one book by Emma Holly and have never read the other authors. I have been visiting Meljean's blog for about the past 9 months and when I realized she had a book coming out I couldn't wait to read it. I'm real excited about this BUT, I must finish the book I have on the go before I can get into it.

Also, miracle of miracles, they had the next book in Lynn Viehl's Darkyn series, Private Demon.

Yeah!!

I am beginning to really get sucked in by the first book in the series which I should have done soon. There are a few things that are bothering me about the first book but I will reveal that later. All the same, I am interested enough to see where the next book will take me. After all, Tara Marie told me to keep at it. I'm nothing if not obedient ;)

I've noticed an odd thing about myself lately. I won't just buy one book when I am in a store. Hey, if you don't have the brass balls needed to stock the books I am there to buy then I am not going to stand in some line for the one measly little book that you did manage to have on hand.

Okay, maybe if it was an Anne Stuart.

Still, I've noticed this. Viehl's book was at my local gigantica store but I refused to buy it because it was the only book that they did have in stock. Why in the world am I going to stand in line for this one book. You are supposed to have one hundred thousand titles in this store!!

I'm considering counting.

Anyways, just thought I would let you in on the newest odd quirk to surface. Next thing you know I will be cooking dinners at home. Anything you would like to share? I won't bite.

Today in General

I've noticed that burnout is happening all over blog land and maybe I should be one of those people who takes a hiatus until I at least finish another book.

Nah.

You aren't so lucky.

Today the demo crew came for the basement at a rocking 9am. Now, for those of you who are new, there is a reason the blog is called Nocturnal Wonderings. I sleep during the day. I was getting better but it's stuff like this that can throw my whole system into chaos.

I end up not sleeping at all before 8am, fall asleep for an hour and then am woken up by knocking. I answer in my jammies because, I'm not proud. I get them all set up and back to bed I go where I have trouble falling asleep because I didn't take any sleeping pills. I believe I drift off at 10am and am rudely awakened at noon by hard banging on the side door. When I opened the door the guy actually jumped at my appearance. 'Ah, just wanted to let you know we're going to lunch.' 'Okay, just let yourself back in when you get here'. This time I am out of it and fall back into bed. Next time I wake up I hear industrial fans and stuff. No one is here. I guess they learned not to wake the beast.

So, here are some semi-before and 'Holy Crap what have I got myself into, middle pics'.


Okay, things to know. In the back there you might be able to see where I had Bob rip out the lower cabinets where the worst of the mold was. That big doorway you see is where the fridge was and of course, extremely hot lights to help dry out the area and bottles of bleach.

This was what it looked like this morning.




I'm hoping this is the mid way point and that all things get better from here on in. The flooring came up and the underlay (DRIcore) but they left the stuff they thought didn't get wet. I may get Bob to take up just a bit more. Also the drywall all around the room was removed from the bottom third of the walls. One section where I knew the water was bad is kinda gross. The two by fours have black on them but apparently they paint them with a special paint that seals the mold in. Yeah. I'm thinking I will be down there with the bleach!

So they cleaned the floors and I assume the two by fours with some sort of agent. Then they put up 2 huge fans and a dehumidifier.

Road Trip!!

I was spoiled growing up. I know! Who could tell?! My mother did all the cleaning, cooking and picking up. I remember trying to do my laundry once and my mother showing up over my shoulder. 'Whacha doing?' 'I'm going to try and do my laundry' 'Ah.' I filled the laundry tub and turned it on. By the time I got back my clothes were dry, ironed, folded and put away. Okay, maybe I was gone for a bit but not like days! So, I knew nothing about housekeeping, cooking or general practices of household maintenance when I got married. My mother even tried to scare Bob off by telling him I knew nothing and that I was hopeless. Apparently my mother pictured me living with her and Dad for the rest of their lives. GAH!! Oops, threw up a little.

Anyways (how do I end up on these tangents?), the first time I went to clean the concrete floor and the wooden dog pens we had constructed for the pups I used an entire bottle of bleach and poured it straight on the wood. Now, I saw the fumes rising but I thought that was the chemical killing all the dirt and stuff. 10 minutes later I am calling my mother and telling her how it's hard to swallow and I can't really breath. She calls poison control and tells me to get out of the house and get some fresh air. I did this but then I figured I was being a woose (?) and went back in to mop up the bleach.

Since then even the slightest whiff of bleach will get my nose aching (not just running but it actually burns) and then gunk builds up in my throat. I still clean with bleach but I try to clean with all the windows open and then leave the house for a few hours.

Why this jaunt along this side road? Well, they've used some sort of chemical but I can't smell any bleach. Problem is my sinuses are aching fierce and my eyes are just starting to water so out of the house I must go.

Dang, I really wanted to just sit and read!!

Things to Be Grateful For

At least the furry little Miss picked the dirty clothes hamper to shed in!!

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Okay, I can't help myself! SQUEEEEEEEE!! And yes, that is my bra, get over it.

Lightening Up!!

I found out from one of the lists I am on that Liz Carlyle is having a contest to win one of eight signed arcs of her new book Two Little Lies. It will be released the day after Christmas but since I have never won anything as a prize and have not ever seen an arc, I thought I would try out. Also, I find her website very visually pleasing. Makes me wish I had a clue about web design ;) Also, I love this cover!

Good news. I have started the peppermint oil regime and have already started to reap the benefits. I would also suggest that writing my crappy few days down last night on the blog helped to bring the anxiety down a few levels. Tonight I started to have a break through panic attack but was able to stay the course. (Because I take medication, I shouldn't really get panic attacks but they can suddenly surface if you are under a lot of stress. Seeing as how Christmas is my Achilles' Heel I guess it is just the norm.) every time you are able to stand in front of the panic and win means that you are less likely to have an attack. Makes me happy when I think of it later and realize that a full fledged panic attack was not only averted but stomped into the ground! Hmm, may not want to get too cocky ;)

Reading wise I just haven't had the time. I got a hold of my insurance company today and they will cover the damage of the pipe that burst in our basement. Phew! That only took about 14 hoops but if there is one thing I have, it's the tenacity of a pitbull. I have a feeling that everyone with an insurance policy will soon get a definition for 'seepage'. The guy read the line in the 'contract' that they were stuck on. I looked at him and said, 'seepage is like an oozing and you can tell from just looking at the damage, that there was no oozing going on down there'. I think he knew I wasn't going to back down and the fact that they would use a specific word and then try to fit a situation to it was just ridiculous. I know what seepage would look like and so did he so they didn't have a leg to stand on. Again, lucky for me because they could have decided against me. I couldn't believe when the adjustor told me that if I didn't agree with the decision I could sue. When did companies decide they would rather be sued than to do what is right? What it came down to was whether they thought I would do the leg work and I guess they figured I would ;)

I'll have to take a few pictures before they demo so I can do the semi-before and then after shots. Even though Bob does renoes I have decided to have the insurance company's team come in and do the work. A) because it will get done maybe before Christmas B) Bob already has two other places he needs to finish up projects before he could get to this.

I'll have to tell you all the story about Bob's first wife, my now best friend and her and her husband's house. Long story. Let's just say she's hoping Bob will finish what he said he would by Christmas of this year. I told her he may have meant Christmas 2007, just to see her reaction ;)

I have decided that tomorrow must become errand day. I have 2 pairs of new jeans that I can't wear because the legs are too long. (Note: I am about 5'7" and am considered long in the leg. Who in the hell are they making these jeans for!? I guess they figure if you have a big waist your legs will naturally be longer. Uh, no. I'm just fat!) I just found out tonight that my husband needs me to iron something (I iron about 2 times a year) but, he used my good iron to put edgebanding on something which means there is glue on the element. Therefore, a new iron needs to be bought. I would also like to go to a used bookstore to find some books for my book trading group. I'm feeling guilty because I haven't been able to get out. Ah well, a step at a time.

Last but not least! A wacky Christmas gift for a man because I don't know many woman who can eat hotdogs the way the men in my life do.

Behold: The Hot Diggity Dogger!!

That's right. A toaster that not only toasts your hot dog buns but also cooks your hot dogs! My husband saw this last year and wanted one immediately. I may not have mentioned but our downstairs kitchen (which is now demolished) was in the style of a 1950's diner. I could handle him getting this as a gift and knowing that it would be relegated to the lower level kitchen. Now, I'm afraid to buy him this because it just might end up on the counter of our upstairs kitchen wedged in between his Kitchen Aid Mixer in blue and his horribly expensive Dualit Toaster. Bobby loves those kitchen gadgets. Doesn't do anything with them but loves to buy them ;)

If you have someone on your list that would absolutely love this gift, Amazon seems to have the best price I have seen so far and yes, I have been trying on Ebay.

Since my train of thought is all over the place I will now wrap up and go surfing. I love to see what others are up to!

Anxiety the Bitch!!

I haven't blogged in about two nights and now there are a million things buzzing around in my brain. I guess that'll teach me.

Let's start with my nemesis and body partner anxiety. The bastard decided to wake up Thursday and throw all my sensory terminals to code red. Fucker.

It all started with my new found resolve to not get sick. Last year was a bust and I am so not doing it again. So off I go to the local flu shot clinic where I get to read the sheet that explains how some people had a bad reaction to the 2001 flu shot (note, I have only ever had one flu shot in my life and I believe it was in 2003) and that if you were one of them you should get your flu shot from your doctor. Nope, not one of them so I get ready.

The shot was nothing but then I have to sit and wait 20 minutes. Twenty whole minutes to look at the list of symptoms that I am to watch for. Now, the last time I got a shot I was more concerned about my panic attacks coming out to play so a little thing like anaphylactic shock seemed like nothing (trust me, a severed artery would come as a welcome relief from a panic attack. Hey, at that point there *is* something wrong and you know it's not in your head!). This time I'm not worried about my panic and I settle in to read the book I brought.

Are my lips starting to swell? Would someone notice if I was having a reaction to the shot? Can I still swallow? So it goes for the next 20 minutes. I have no idea why my brain decided to react like this but I guess it needed something to do. I am currently reading Lynn Viehl's If Angel's Burn and it is really good but there is a lack of romance so far so maybe that's why my brain decided to play with me. After the twenty minutes I decide to go to my friend's house because she will talk me down and everything will go back to normal.

Now at this point I would like to point out to the crowd that I may have been able to shake off this doom and gloom feeling I was having. Afterall, I'm with my best friend and her kids and there isn't a moment to wonder if you have broken out in a rash.

My friend's friend (who is my friend also but I don't see her as much as my friend) has asked if she can ask me a bunch of questions. Being the people pleaser I am and not knowing how I would later react, I say yes.

The questions were about God and my belief system.

Ouch! Sonofa..!

Now, I will openly talk with anyone who wants to discuss beliefs and how theirs might differ from mine, etc. as long as I know they are coming in with an open mind just like I am. Here's the thing - I know that this friend believes that only through Jesus can someone go to Heaven. That's it, that's all. Jesus = Heaven. I don't believe this. In the rounds of questions, I ask her what she thinks happens to those who have never heard of Jesus. She responded by saying, 'do you really think there is someone left who hasn't heard of Jesus?'. I was floored. When pushed on the issue of those who have not heard of Jesus the answer is, 'I can't know what is in a person's heart'. Uh, okay. Needless to say the conversation took a few twists I didn't foresee and by the time I got home I was wondering if I had just blasphemed my way into Hell. Geez, my stomach is getting upset just thinking about it.

I just erased everything I typed about what I said. It's bad enough my friend wrote down my question to ask to her minister. Did I mention I'm not all that well?

So I guess I was jumpy after that (you think!) and during the night I decided to become a hypochondriac (I just scored a 40 but, but....If I only checked a medical encyclopedia once in 35 years, does that count?!). The next day I could no longer lift my arm above my shoulder without great pain which of course led to me wondering if my muscles were dying. Isn't anxiety a wonderful thing? StupidCrudyMcCrap....

So there I am Friday night in a heightened state of anxiety when I realize my bestest friends are coming the next day to spend the afternoon and evening with me. I hit high octane anxiety and have the phone in my hand ready to call and tell them not to come. What keeps me from dialing is realizing that if this *is* all due to anxiety and is not really a stomach virus then I will have it even worse the next time they come down. Yep, that's right. You cower in the face of anxiety once and that bitch'll make you scream for mercy on the next round. Lucky me, my husband talked me down off the ceiling and I was very happy to see my friends the next day.

They taught me to scrapbook and that's a whole other blog ;)

Now it's Sunday night and I have had another round with my stomach. IBS. Yeah, I don't want to get into the TMI territory but this is your follow up prize when you have anxiety! Nausea, hot flashes, cramps, (as I get older the urge to puke gets stronger) and well, yetch. Oh, and my new lovely, fear of fainting. Or maybe it is the wish to faint. I'm not sure. I get worse with milk (I stopped drinking it when I was 21) and nowadays it's murder if something is made with real cream. Ice cream has also become forbidden (I decided that tonight) :(

So there you have it. My anxiety has decided to deck my halls and somehow I know it is only going to get worse as the season progresses. This is the worse it has felt in a long, long time.

It's okay though. I'm not giving up! Peppermint oil pills will be taken twice daily to keep the tummy from wanting to explode. Smaller meals will be eaten so I don't get that overstuffed feeling. Walking will be employed to work off excess energy from anxiety. And, uh, yeah. I don't know what else but, I will do it with great zeal! Yeah, I will!

Screw anxiety!

Did I mention that my only brother (who I love, love, love) who is lucky to have a live in girlfriend with two children, a rental place, a brand new truck and mustang up and quit his job last Monday but only told us this weekend? Any job opportunities? No.

Fucker.

Reading and Stuff

Okay, I am back to reading which I am very happy to report. I am currently reading If Angels Burn by Lynn Viehl, a new to me author.

Her writing is fantastic and her character's are compelling but.... I'm getting the urge to put the book down. I'm on page 116 and the hero/heroine have spent about 8 of those pages together. I'm beginning to think this book is not a romance even though it is marked as one. My other problem is that so far there is not enough back story for me to figure out exactly what's going on. I get that there are the Darkyn and the Brethren. The hierarchy of the Darkyn has been alluded to but I don't understand it. They talk of a man named Richard who I think is their leader but he is in Europe while the hero of this book is not a leader of the American Darkyn, it looks like he is a shoe in. But, now there is a talk of the man who destroyed the hero's face and he is the enforcer for Richard. So, friend or foe?

Maybe this book is above me ;)

Anyways, just wanted to step up and let you know what I am currently trying to read.

I am also searching our city website to learn about building permits and fees. Apparently my husband needs a project and he has decided on a two phases. Phase one is the addition of a library with a main floor laundry room. Someone loves me ;) I'm terrified but hey, if this will keep him from buying another house to renovate and spend more time with me, then I'm all for it!

I am going to see if Bob can make the plans he has come up with in excel much more blogger friendly. That way you can see the depth of my fear .... and yet, I am excited. More on this later. Still have to track down some information and I am soon off to bed.