Today was a 'meh' kind of day.
PMS doncha know. Get's me every time.
So I get up and have my cereal but I already know fries and gravy are in my future. I did very well over the weekend and I need a reward. I wait for about an hour and then decide I can head out.
This is when I realize I left my keys in Bob's Jeep. Which is with him at work.
I take a look around sure that the keys for the TWO other vehicles I have in my driveway are around somewhere.
Uh, no. Bob has every key with him.
Euchred.
Only I remember that my best friend now has a used vehicle that Bob and I helped her finance. I figure I'll give her a call and see if she wants to come for a visit and get me an order of fries on her way over.
Now maybe you are thinking I'm using my friend but I should mention that for the last 12 years I have been going to her house about twice a week (I'm averaging) and every time I bring her a coffee from Timmies. There are a number of times I will get a phone call asking if I'm heading to her house today and some of those I hadn't planned on it. Only she would really love a coffee so couldn't I please come over for a bit. Being me I relent and head on over.
So I give her a call and she answers and says 'Are you coming over?' and I tell her about the key situation. I then mention to her that she hasn't visited me since she got her car and hey, I would love an order of fries and gravy.
'Oh.' 'Well, I have to be home....' So I'm thinking she's babysitting today. It's 1pm. 'I have to be home when Zach gets home at ten after 3 and well, uh ... '
That's two hours. You live five minutes from me and you can't take 1/2 hour out of you day to come visit?
She asks if I would mind her not coming and if I could live without the fries.
Now, by this point it's no longer about the fries. Trust me. Bob has already said he would drive home (40 minutes) to bring me my keys so I can get out of the house.
I tell her not to worry because really, I didn't know what else to say. Sure, when tough things need to be said I can say them but at this point I'm not about to say 'uh, hi, I've been doing you favours for years and the one time I ask you for something you bail!!??' cause I so don't need a guilt visit.
Just so happens that before today my hubby had called asking her and her hubby for help in moving a couch. Since hurting my back in December I'm leary of doing anything too strenuous. These are people who have asked to borrow vehicles, to borrow money (and could you drive it over since I don't have a car), to come and fix something in their house etc.
They didn't even call back. They told Bob later that they didn't get the message till late and then decided that he wouldn't need them anymore.
Good news is I didn't hurt my back lugging that couch up the stairs.
So I ended up being a touch weepy this afternoon when I told Rosie that it takes a lot for me to cry. I'm thinking PMS and feeling sorry for myself. Once again, I have a friend who is there when she needs something but can't help me if she has something better to do.
Well.
Now I just sound pathetic.
I did get my fries and gravy when Bob got home tonight. Like I said, it wasn't about the food.
I also got lots of painting done today. I used Zinzer 123 which covers stains and oil based paints so you can paint over it with latex. Let's just say the fumes were killer and even though I had all the windows open upstairs in zero degree weather, I'm still feeling loopy.
So forgive the past/future/present tense failures I have all through this. I can see them but my brain can't work out how to fix them.
Tomorrow more paint!
10 comments:
Hey Cindy...sorry about the day. You can bet if I lived closer I'd be there with fries and gravy (although that doesn't sound real good). Have a better day!
Hey Cindy,
I totally understand how you feel. It sucks to be the one giving out soooo much for friendship and when you ask one thing, one little thing, they're not there for you. I know it wasn't just about the fries, but I think she could have taken 30 minutes just to get you those fries.
I hope it won't affect too much your friendship though...
Linniegayl, I think the fries and gravy, it's a Canadian thing. In Quebec, we add squeeky cheese to it :P
Thank LinnieGayl - I would do the same for you! And you can't put gravy on just any french fry and it can't be just any gravy (unless it's homemade, then go for it!)
There are only three places I go for fries and gravy 1) A&W fries 2) IKEA (I also bring my own dinner roll in and butter it up - mmm) 3) Sammy Jo's - a restaurant near where we live - to die for!!!
Then there are fries that only get salt.
Then there are fries that need vinegar and ketchup (Costco fries)
More than you wanted to know ;) Course, you could have meant that that couldn't be good for my health and that would be a huge, You're Right!! (but I'm not caring ;))
Nath - thanks hon! Bob was furious (probably because he hates when I cry) so I think we'll all just take a breather. Meanwhile, my Godson Josh's birthday is next week but we're taking him to build-a-bear. God. He's going to be seven! We'll be going to the cake part but depending on how I feel, it may be cut short ;)
I guess C-Rex has her back up.
CindyS
WTF?!?
I would be livid if I gave so much and got so little back in return.
Me too...what Megan wrote.
TTFN, LLB
Megan and LLB - I keep thinking about how we teach others how to treat us so I'm figuring it's my own fault.
And I have a martyr complex ;)
CindyS
Cindy, Nope, I didn't mean anything about the health factor...just I can't imagine fries with gravy. I'm a ketchup person myself...and lots of it.
Once in a GREAT while if it's fish and chips, I might put vinegar on the chips...but usually not, just ketchup.
Cindy: As tough as it might be, I think a little distance from this person might be a good idea. Unbalanced friendships aren't really that healthy and sounds like you're all give and she's all take. If it was balanced, she would give on occasion and you would take.
And on the subject of fries *g* one of my favourites - you didn't mention poutine!! For all those south of the border, these are fries smothered in gravy and then with cheese curds added to the top. I'm not that big a fan of them, but they are rather popular here.
I agree with Kristie, some distance would be good for you. I have a "friend" like this and I don't do him any favours any more. There's only so much you can give without getting anything back.
HUGS
The thing about friends disappointing us is that it is always so unexpected. So you are caught off guard by their disregard and don't know what to say...at least that's what happens to me.
In my case sometimes things were resolved and sometimes the friendship went by the way side. But every time it was hurtful.
I'm sorry someone hurt you Cindy. Mostly I'm sorry they hurt you and were so clueless about their thoughtlessness. Bob sounds a lot like GG. GG always wants to sock someone when they make me cry.
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