Yep, I love him. I really, really love him.
Tonight we were at our parents and I had taken pictures of the shed and e-mailed them over. Well, I got the e-mail address wrong so MY HUBBY told my father to look up Nocturnal Wonderings because I had pictures there.
MY FRIGGIN' PRIVATE BLOG.
So panicking like no one has panicked before I came home to see what the hell I could do to block my parents from reading my blog. I so don't need their hair catching fire in anger, you know what I mean.
Thing is I'm not entirely different around my parents but I don't swear around them. And they don't quite believe in panic attacks. And I write about the books I love and I believe one of my posts is titled 'Sex, Yes Please.'
Yeah, I love my parents but I don't need to have anything from here thrown back at me so I have run through my sidebar and found as many e-mails as I could to invite you guys to read the blog. This way, my family shouldn't be able to read it. I have no clue if this is true or not but I'm grasping at anything I can right now.
There are many people who don't have e-mails listed so if you get a request or anything just let them know I need their e-mail address to let them read the blog.
My address is email@example.com. Maybe a few of you could put up a notice on your blog that I'm still here and how to get in touch with me.
I can't believe Bob outed me!!
I think because Bob couldn't be bothered about what I write he thinks that my parents wouldn't be but I wonder if curiousity would bring them to it. Maybe they would get bored in the first minute and leave it be. I don't know.
So I apologize for this. I don't have Sybil's e-mail or Mailyn's e-mail and I think they could help me figure out how to transfer my posts to another host or something like that. I may also change the name of the blog at that point.
I guess after two years of freedom to meet people who accept me for who I am, I just figured I would never be found out.
Oh, and tonight I had a killer panic attack before dinner. First one in over a year. This was before Bob let the cat out of the bag. Goober.
I considered bolting. I was ready to run or make up an excuse that would be seen through a mile away but I took those damn pills that are supposed to stop a panic attack in it's tracks.
Uh, not quite.
So there was a moment where I bolted out the front door and stood on the stoop and concentrated on my breathing and getting it right to keep the panic at bay. On a scale of 1 to 10 it was an 8.
Once I got centered I was able to go into the house but I only ate a small portion of steak and put the smallest amount of food on my plate as I could. This was typical of my panic ways before so it was quite humbling to be at that stage once again.
So, bummer of a night.
Let me know if this is a pain in the ass because really, I can just delete posts I think my parents would be upset by (family posts etc.) and put it back to a public blog.
Other than that, I had a great time. No really. Just Goober head outed me. But I love him to itty bits so he's all cozy in bed sleeping the sleep of the innocent not knowing the kind of havoc he has thrown me into.