Sunday, August 12, 2007

My Hubby

Yep, I love him. I really, really love him.

Tonight we were at our parents and I had taken pictures of the shed and e-mailed them over. Well, I got the e-mail address wrong so MY HUBBY told my father to look up Nocturnal Wonderings because I had pictures there.

MY FRIGGIN' PRIVATE BLOG.

Uh, yeah.

So panicking like no one has panicked before I came home to see what the hell I could do to block my parents from reading my blog. I so don't need their hair catching fire in anger, you know what I mean.

Thing is I'm not entirely different around my parents but I don't swear around them. And they don't quite believe in panic attacks. And I write about the books I love and I believe one of my posts is titled 'Sex, Yes Please.'

Yeah, I love my parents but I don't need to have anything from here thrown back at me so I have run through my sidebar and found as many e-mails as I could to invite you guys to read the blog. This way, my family shouldn't be able to read it. I have no clue if this is true or not but I'm grasping at anything I can right now.

There are many people who don't have e-mails listed so if you get a request or anything just let them know I need their e-mail address to let them read the blog.

My address is rsmith41@cogeco.ca. Maybe a few of you could put up a notice on your blog that I'm still here and how to get in touch with me.

I can't believe Bob outed me!!

I think because Bob couldn't be bothered about what I write he thinks that my parents wouldn't be but I wonder if curiousity would bring them to it. Maybe they would get bored in the first minute and leave it be. I don't know.

So I apologize for this. I don't have Sybil's e-mail or Mailyn's e-mail and I think they could help me figure out how to transfer my posts to another host or something like that. I may also change the name of the blog at that point.

I guess after two years of freedom to meet people who accept me for who I am, I just figured I would never be found out.

OUT!!

Oh, and tonight I had a killer panic attack before dinner. First one in over a year. This was before Bob let the cat out of the bag. Goober.

I considered bolting. I was ready to run or make up an excuse that would be seen through a mile away but I took those damn pills that are supposed to stop a panic attack in it's tracks.

Uh, not quite.

So there was a moment where I bolted out the front door and stood on the stoop and concentrated on my breathing and getting it right to keep the panic at bay. On a scale of 1 to 10 it was an 8.

Once I got centered I was able to go into the house but I only ate a small portion of steak and put the smallest amount of food on my plate as I could. This was typical of my panic ways before so it was quite humbling to be at that stage once again.

So, bummer of a night.

Let me know if this is a pain in the ass because really, I can just delete posts I think my parents would be upset by (family posts etc.) and put it back to a public blog.

Other than that, I had a great time. No really. Just Goober head outed me. But I love him to itty bits so he's all cozy in bed sleeping the sleep of the innocent not knowing the kind of havoc he has thrown me into.

18 comments:

Kat O+ said...

I wondered what was going on!

It might be easier just to change your blog URL through blogger (i.e. change the "cindyl" part). Then your parents won't find the blog using the URL that Bob sent, but the rest of us can find your blog by going through your profile page and you won't have to keep it private only. Um, did that make sense? The only issue is that any links to your current blog will break because the URL will be different.

Yeah, there are days I wish I'd kept my blog anonymous and away from the family, but oh well, I'll just keep my best whinges for e-mail and IM. *g*

CindyS said...

I think I'm over reacting for the most part. I'm going to leave it like this for a few days and then have it go public again. I was just floored and wondered if they would be curious. I figure though that they can't have that kind of time. Can they?

Bob told them the name of my blog so I'm trying to see if I can change the name for a bit.

Yeah, I'm still in panic mode!

CindyS

Holly said...

You know, they're probably just look for nocturnalwonderings.com so you'll probably be safe, but still, I get why you panicked. I would have too. Remember DQ? Yeah, that would so not be pretty. lol

Let me know what you decide to do. I have both Mailyn and Sybil's email addy's, so I can either forward theirs to you or your to them, whatever you want. ;)

Big hugs!

LinnieGayl said...

Oh, dear, Cindy. Sorry you had such a lousy night. I wondered why I was getting the invitation. Now I know. Just keep us posted as to what you decide.

Marg said...

I too wondered about the invitation. Hopefully it won't be a drama for you in the long term. I'm not sure if my mother could even find my blog based on that information, except for when she is at my house and it opens up as the start up page! Thankfully she doesn't visit often, but she will be soon!

sybil said...

The funny was you were emailing me asking for my email *g*

and nope kat I don't think that would work because it is too easy to google. Depending on how much time they have on their hands I guess.

Right now if you google Nocturnal Wonderings the first return is cindy and than a bunch of blogs linked to her.

Change the URL it can break the link until google respiders. There is a code you can put in to send spiders away but I am not sure how well that works.

You can request to have info removed from search engines and cache but I am not sure how long that takes - and is something you would have to do regardless. I am signed in right now but I would think if I signed out - googled nocturnal wonderings and hit the word cached it would still give old blog posts. BUT I could be wrong haven't played with blogger in a while.

And of course once you move, change your url, change your blog name, you could still google you and get us... so you would want to make sure your title and name don't tie back to you. Otherwise it is just a matter of hitting someone who is linked to your new URL.

:) really I would say fuck it babycakes. They can only give you shit if you let them. Of course I am the one who hangs up on my mother and helped her find my blog. But really I am pretty easy to google and have been showing up on the local paper website so really it doesn't seem worth it to me to try and hide.

But either way if you need help and I can help you let me know. If I have to jump through hoops to get you I will *g*

CindyS said...

My dad will be coming to help Bob with the shed tomorrow so we'll see if he mentions it at all. Maybe he won't care *please God*

I'm thinking Sybil might be right and I'll just have to let it go. As it is, I'll keep it on private for about 4 days and then let it go public again.

The thing with my blog is I can say anything - not because I haven't met you guys but because you made the choice to come and visit knowing just how crazy I am ;) My parents like to pretend I'm normal.

For instance, writing about panic attacks would be hard if I knew my mom or dad read my blog. They just don't get it and have no sympathy for them. How do explain to people who don't want to understand? You don't and at 36 I've stopped trying.

I'm thinking they would be bored with the first few sentences and move on.

Sorry about the inconvenience guys - you can find cache pages but none of them have me being me on them. Just book reviews and such so nothing bad. I figure if they try it once they'll get the message that it's private and then I think they'll just not want to know ;)

Thanks for your patience with this!
CindyS

Tara Marie said...

Don't feel bad, my hubby outed me a couple of months ago, my parent knew I blogged but didn't know the URL. So I figure I'll probably never review another erotic romance again--lol. And I can't write any posts complaining about Mrs. Full Charge (Mom) :)

Kristie (J) said...

Ah Cindy - what a goober indeed, loveable as he is. I can understand your upset at having people you don't want reading the blog reading the blog. My sons know I have one but neither is the least bit interested in reading it so I'm not sure what I'd do if they started. And my youngest sister, love her though I do, drives me BONKERS, but she reads my blog so I never blog about stuff she does that drives me nuts.
And I got quite a kick out of the fact that you emailed Sybil asking for her email address!! I was going to say you already had it, but she beat me to it.

Kat O+ said...

Oops, I thought your hubby sent them a URL. Maybe you can just create a Flickr account, dump some photos in there, and tell your parents to go check it out and forget they ever heard of your blog. I feel your pain, though. It's difficult to blog properly when you're even slightly worried about who is reading what you're posting.

Megan Frampton said...

I can never mention my dad and his SUPER-ANNOYING WAYS because of my blog. My mom, she barely bothered to read my book, so I can say whatever I want. And the husband stays away so as to respect my privacy.

Bummer, Cindy. But I bet your 'rents won't bother drilling down.

CindyS said...

Tara Marie - doesn't that just burn? I need to vent and I like my blog the way it is. Grrrr.

Kristie - I know, you can't write about either sister now! And I had Sybil in my inbox but it only said Sybil and I couldn't get the properties. Weird I know but I think in my panic I didn't think to check anywhere else.

Kat O+ - I sent them the photos in their e-mail and now I hope they don't bother.

Megan - I think my hubby stays away because reading anything after work is a chore so he doesn't bother. I will read something to him if I have blogged about him - then he says he's going to set up a blog with the 'truth' - goofy guy.

Yep, the freedom to say what we need to can be harshly ruined when those you need to vent about know where you live ;)

CindyS

Jenster said...

No worries, Cindy. My family all knows about my blog, but I started with the intention of letting them know. So sometimes there are things that I feel like blogging about, but I don't. It doesn't make me any different around them. It's just not stuff I care to share with them. So I totally get it.

ames said...

hey cindy-i'm sorry you got outed. :( my dad sometimes throws stuff in my face that i blog about-but i make a joke out of it. he's a booger. LOL

sorry about your panic attack as well. HUGS

Jennie said...

Bummer! Bad Bob! My whole family knows about my blog and sometimes I wish they didn't--it does limit what you can write about. :)

Rosie said...

I guess since you switched to private your new posts weren't showing up on Google Reader because these last two just popped up on mine today.

My family started out knowing. My sisters all know but only one of them ever visits. I used to worry about content all the time, but since they can't remember my URL and don't visit often I just go on my merry way.

In my case, my parents never got much passed the email stage on the computer. It's a difference in generations and a blessing I think.

I just feel bad that it's caused you so much worry. Panic attacks suck. Take it easy kiddo.

Going private or whatever you have to do is no big deal. We'll follow the bread crumbs to wherever you are.

Chantal said...

So thats what happened! I came for a visit the other day and I got that private blog message. I meant to email someone for your address to ask if I could have access.

I understand your freak out. The same thing happened to me last year.

sybil said...

Cindy hon you do whatever you like. Tis your blog.

You want it private keep it that way.

I have it easy cuz if I wanna tell family to fuck off, well I would. So blogging about it would mean jack.

I am so easy to find online it is painful but I made the choice a while ago to just not give a shit. Hell I found out my mom gave a stupid ass aunt I have no want to talk to my phone number (while telling her really you don't want to call her, you know, she's mean). WHYWHYWHY she gave it to her I do not know. I told her I will just be forced to tell her to go away you know.

le sigh... so I thought about blogging about it to keep her from calling :). But haven't gotten around to it yet.