Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Two Days Notice Mandatory!

My husband came home tonight and told me that his family was coming out tomorrow for a swim and BBQ.

Now, for most people this wouldn't be a problem and it really shouldn't be for me either but, I have a few limitations.

For the last week I have been waking up feeling like I haven't slept. Crawling back into bed is my first thought but I can't sleep and I really just want to crash on the couch and not be bothered.

So I finally get up at 7:30pm and hear all the details from Bob. Only we have to go and get his prescription, I have to eat and stop at the movie store. By the time I do this the idea of having to walk all over the grocery store is the last thing I want to do. I mean really, am I the only one who would want a normal sized grocery store? Do I have to walk 15 miles for a bunch of hamburger buns and cheese?

Yes. Yes I do. And I'm in no mood.

So we come home and Bob wants to watch Contact and since Bob hasn't watched a movie in ages I want to sit and watch it with him also. Luckily it's a movie I liked the first time so it wasn't hard to just sit and enjoy.

Bob goes to bed after telling me he has now put 30 liters of chlorine into our pool over the last 24 hours (it's normally 10 liters per week so we've tripled that in a day). The blue green is still heavy.

Remember, people are wanting to go for a swim tomorrow.

I'm not sure they won't burn their skin off so I'm stressing over that. Then I go and check on the pool thinking it's gotta be clearing up at least a bit only I hear a sucking noise and decide to investigate. Luckily for me again, it's only the pool filter and not some sordid sex thing happening in the trees.

The pool needs more water for the filter to work properly.

Has this been the problem all along?

And are you supposed to be able to smell the chlorine when it's an outdoor pool?

So I'm trying to figure out what to do. Do I ask Bob to tell his family to wait until Friday because the pool isn't ready or do I just let them all descend on me and pray that everyone maintains their eye sight from the experience.

Let's not even discuss how I'm going to get food here.

Oh!!

And then, of course, there's the classic moment that happens before any company can get in the door.

Is it gonna be cat puke or dog puke, or a cat accident or a puppy accident? I don't know, let's spin the wheel shall we?


And, it's slowing down, and down again, hey, there's a new one on the board I didn't notice earlier, what the !!?

Dog steps in a fresh pile of poop in the yard unbeknownst to the owner who is frantically trying to figure out a way to make her pool safe to swim in!

Ding, ding we have a winna!!

Took me about twenty minutes to figure out where the hell the smell was coming from because it followed me into every room. Like my dog. I circled and circled around wondering why it was getting fresher. And Cody followed.

After the forehead slap I tried to figure out how I was going to clean his paw. Cause when you touch Cody's feet he looks like he does when he used to get in trouble. Not sure why he gets so upset but the moping was almost worse than the smell.

Poor guy had the fur in between his toes cut out and then I had to wash in between the pads but I didn't have a bucket to soap his foot up in.

The hidden disadvantages of owning a large dog. Not easy to clean.

So, not so new rule.

I need two complete days of notice before coming to my home hoping to catch a meal. I don't have a gopher or a cook, a maid or a dog groomer standing by waiting upon my nod to do their job.

If you just want to drop in and chat and drink some pop and try and raid the pantry, then make yourself at home.

Cat hair, odd poopy smells and an eyeful of clutter are yours free of charge.

If you ever need to feel better about your own home, drop in.

I'm sure one of my cats could drum something up for ya.

*gag*

6 comments:

Rosie said...

So the original idea I had was to put up my post and go to bed to help recover from the lethal migraine I had on Monday. Uh-huh. My youngest brother called needing a shoulder to cry on and hours later I'm wide awake. So I do computer updates and am checking my mail before bed and what's there? A new post by Miss Cindy. I'm telling you I chuckle all the way through it and can feel my muscles relaxing. I think I can sleep now.

Thanks Cindy! At least one of us will be getting some sleep.

Oh, and...two days minimum is reasonable what with the burning skin and eyeballs.

Mailyn said...

Dude do what I do! Order take out. Pizza is also good. Shit, now I gotta have pizza for tomorrow. :-P

Luckily for me again, it's only the pool filter and not some sordid sex thing happening in the trees.

Just when things were starting to get interesting!

nath said...

LOL, I'm in complete agreement with Rosie :D It was soo funny Cindy (well, perhaps not the part about washing Cody's paw... but the Luckily for me again, it's only the pool filter and not some sordid sex thing happening in the trees. LMAO!!! :P

I think you did the right call to ask them to come on Friday instead... good luck :D

Kat O+ said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who zeroed in on that sordid sex thing. :-D

All my family (including the in-laws) know not to expect any cooking from me. They get biscuits and coffee if they're lucky and visit the day after grocery day.

ReneeW said...

OMG, Cindy, I'm LMAO. Sorry to laugh at your troubles but the way you describe it is a hoot. I'm at work here and trying to stifle my laughter when you make that comment about the sucking noise. Ok, I have to go outside and let it out. It's not fair that you should have to provide food for everyone. Tell them to bring potluck or something. My family isn't happy unless they are allowed to bring food.

We used to have a hot tub and I was in charge of the PH level and chlorine and stuff but I remember it was a pain in the a** and it is much smaller than a pool. Poor Cody and poor Cindy having to clean him up. :)

Chantal said...

Oh, Cindy, lol!! You have such a wonderful way with words.

Yeah, 2 days sounds good.
And yep-We can sometimes smell the chlorine in our pool. On the hotter days mostly.