We went to my best bud's house where 6 of us got together and celebrated our version of a Mini Christmas. It will probably turn out to be one of my best memories of Christmas this year because I just don't stress about dinner or anything like that. With a friend who throws on Chili and caesar salad and thinks nothing of the fact that I can't eat in restaurants during the cold months, well, I'm in Heaven. We took some group shots and traded gifts. There are two couples and a single mom and her tossle haired son. I try to spoil the single mom because I know the little guy is going to get most of the gifts and he was quite happy with his new 'diggers'. He suggested that we head upstairs to the other tree and unwrap those gifts. He's only two so doesn't get the whole concept yet but, it wasn't hard to explain that the upstairs gifts had to stay wrapped.
We then went to see the Christmas lights which I hadn't seen in almost 20 years since I moved from the small town. A few things were new but other than that, it was just as I remembered only, it seemed like fewer lights. I'm usually the one that has problems getting around (panic crap) but I knew we were going to go see the lights and I wasn't going to let myself get worked up. Turns out that it was Bob who had us turning around!
Bob has been taking blood pressure meds now for about 6 months but has had a problem with each one he has been on. The first one caused a dry hacking cough and honestly, even I couldn't believe how grating on the nerves it could be. He did this for 2 months and when he mentioned it to the doc, she said if it hadn't gone away then the dry cough wasn't going to stop. Yetch. So they changed meds and Bob's dizzy spells started. Now, being who I am, dizziness is not something I get worked up about ;) Bob, on the other hand, is really worked up about the 'spacey' feelings he is experiencing so they changed the meds just this past week. First day Bob was dizzier than he had ever been so he stopped taking it for a day to get it out of his system. He started to take it again and it seemed it was going to do the trick.
Saturday. We're out in this park and the wind is frigid and yeah, I couldn't feel my chin after a certain point but again, we weren't leaving because of me! Bob, who never gets cold is a mess and says it feels like the wind is blowing right through his coat. I try and stand beside him to block the wind and he says it helps but I think our friends figured out something was not right. Reg, bless him, suggested we head back to the cars and Bob was able to warm up. I apologized to the girls in private but Stephany said not to worry, that her father was forever cold and it was due to his blood pressure meds. I'm trying to stay calm about all this but Bob is only 47 and he seems young to be on cholesterol and blood pressure meds.
So that was that and we did have a great time.
We head home where I can barely drive because I am so tired. I went to bed at 12:30pm and slept for 12 hours! You would think I would have felt refreshed and maybe I would have except Bob started and things went downhill. 'Let's tell the workers we want carpet in the back room (first pic, that opening on the right hand side is a room) and save the laminate for the laundry room' 'Bob, we've been over this, we have dogs and rugs get filthy and we don't have time' 'The dogs won't be on it and we do have time' I've been fighting battles since the beginning of this reno and let me tell you. I snapped. Bob's yelling 
about how I am not open to new ideas and I'm think about ripping his arm off and beating him with it ;)This story is too long to trot out here as it goes back to when Bob started renoing and how things around our house took a back burner. At the moment we are all living in an 1100 square foot area and things are not all rosey. I can't keep up with the crud and the downstairs still looks like a bomb has hit it. It's bad enough that Bob called the contractor and told him that we were going to install the new cabinets! I had it so that all we had to do was build them and they would install them but no, I got over ruled. I'm betting the
cupboards are not in by Christmas. Bob is promising they will be and I know that in his heart he truly believes this but he takes on too much and then things don't get done. The laundry room gives me stomach pains. Let's see if I can get some pics up for you.So I start crying and Bob is contrite which is good and then I know I'm not being entirely reasonable but hey, I'm just trying to get our home put back together because if we had to sell now we'd be lucky to get a nickel for the place! Then we are looking for an angel for the top of our tree in remembrance of my Gramma Grace so then I am crying in the store looking for the prettiest angel. I didn't realize that the more time went by the more you would miss the person. Hmm, remind me to tell you the funeral story another time because this is getting long! Anyways, I miss my Gram.
We find a perfect angel and at the same time find some fun wacky Christmas gifts and 200 bucks later we're on our way. Ouch.
I was back in bed by 5pm and slept until almost 10 o'clock and I tell you, I'm still tired. I don't mind having those kind of days when Bob is at work because we're only missing a few hours together but I felt bad that I needed so much sleep today.
I have a theory but, you knew that right? It has been weeks since Bob and I have had a proper meal and today we decided to treat ourselves to breakfast out. OMG, it was fabulous. For the first time in weeks my hunger was satiated in the proper way (not a chocolate bar or cookie in sight) so then my body moved onto it's other needs. Apparently shelter was fine so it needed sleep. I'll have to find that science thing that tells you the three things the human body needs to live - ooops, I forgot water but I have been downing that since Saturday. (Damn, if I am remembering from school correctly it was food, shelter and sex. I remember thinking as my virginal self, how the hell was I still living!?) Ho ha! Found it but it is much more indepth than my science teacher explained!
When I woke up I discovered that Bob had cleaned up the middle room AND cleared the desk of all the clutter I didn't know what to do with. Yep, it took 5 hours. At this rate we may have the upper floor ready for Christmas.
I was ever so grateful though that Bob tackled the desk because I didn't even know where to start. Yay, the desk is clear.
Now, to get my mind to clear.
Have I mentioned my dogs have moved onto eating hardcovers? Yeah? Just checking. That alone is getting me misty eyed and just when I think there is no way they can reach anything else, they find another. Today it was Fallen From Grace by Laura Leone - excellent book by the way. Remember that signed Gabaldon I got a few weeks ago? I have it at the highest point in the room and am praying they don't get their paws on it. Bob told me my books were starting to over run the house. Uh, yeah, you think? I'm not putting anything new in the book room/doggy day care room.
No wonder I'm weepy.
5 comments:
Cindy, you're kidding! Not only do they eat book, they specialize in HTF books, too? Just thinking of Fallen From Grace torn into itty bitty bits of paper is enough to make me want to cry!
Yikes! No wonder you're stressed! I couldn't stand living in that chaos.
I miss my gram, too.
Rosario - The book is HTF? Of course it is :( The dogs have figured out my buttons. Rocky would bark and then I would hear 'rip', bark 'rip', and on and on. It's torture! Bob's going to be shocked when I go and re-buy these books!
Megan - I've done well to keep it together for as long as I have but then my life has been chaos for a long while now. Bob just asked tonight where the Die Hard movies are. I told him they were in our bedroom because we were sick last year and that was where we left them. He said, that he had no idea how much he had neglected our house. I told him he had no clue. (bitchy Cindy)
When my Gram passed I wasn't very upset. She was 83 and she died so quick I know she didn't feel anything. I was there to celebrate her life and even though I had rough moments, for the most part I didn't cry.
The funeral people came and told us they were going to close the casket and my family all started crying. I turned to Bob and whispered 'why is everyone so upset?' He said, 'because it's the last time we'll all see her'. As far as I was concerned the last time I had seen her was the week before she died. It was just a body now.
Later I overheard *that* aunt say to my mother that she had expected me to be more upset. Hey, how many people do you know have their grandmother for 31 years!
It's only as the years go by that I miss her more and more. It's amazing how you can be going through your day and you remember something that makes you start to cry. 4 years later! I wonder if *that* aunt does as much as I do to remember my gram. Oops, bitchy Cindy again ;)
CindyS
14 years since my aunt died. I still miss her terribly. It's a different ache now. I was shocked when she died (46 years old!), but now it's gone over into lingering pain.
Don't ever let anyone tell you that it takes *only* a year to mourn a person. It takes just as long as it takes.
Good meals do help quite a bit, by the way. I keep forgetting to eat properly and then I find myself in tears. Duh.
Suisan - It's nice as Gramma Grace remains part of our lives. We don't say much to my family about the things we think because my family isn't exactly touchy feely or anything. Every once in a while Bob will say, 'you know that's Gramma Angel Grace looking after us'. It means so much to me that Bob knew and loved my grandmother.
Sometimes I feel bad that I don't bring up his grandmother because she died long before I ever came on the scene. Still, I know that she lived with them and I think Bob was 19 when she passed.
I know Bob has a bad memory of the night his gram died. His younger brothers were arguing about something his gram had said and he responded something like 'why are you listening to the old bat?' (this was in a house of 7 boys) Bob thinks she overheard what he said and she was found in her bed the next morning. She was 93 when she passed but I think Bob holds a lot of guilt over what he said. I know it was frustration with his brothers that had him saying something cruel but having that be the last thing your gram could have heard out of your mouth is probably not healthy.
When he named our tree angel Grace I asked him what his gram's name was and he said Sarah. I said maybe we should name the angel Sarah then. He said he didn't think she would be watching out for him. Made me sad.
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