I was horrified when Bob suggested we give an electric fry pan we got as a wedding gift to someone else as a Christmas gift like 3 years later. I mean, can you do that? How do you get away with it? At the time money was tight so I agreed to give this perfectly good gift to one of his brother's families for Christmas. Seeing as how I haven't received it back, I think it found a home.
Turns out I am uncomfortable with this and decide not to let Bob talk me into such nonsense again.
Then I find an article in O magazine about the etiquette of re-gifting.
I was floored.
Re-gifting was so popular that they had an etiquette for it! Unbelievable.
So, let's go over some basic rules.
1. Remember who gave you the gift before deciding to give it to someone. I have feared the embarrassment of giving someone a gift that they gave me. O covered this by saying you could say 'oh, it was so great I decided to get you one!'. Yeah, no one will see through that!
In case you didn't get the sarcasm in that, THEY. WILL. SEE. THROUGH. THAT! Scared you straight didn't I.
2. Do not re-gift a tacky present that you yourself thought was hideous unless you know someone who absolutely adores Coca-Cola paraphenelia and would absolutely die to have that Polar Bear lamp. (Yeah, that would be Bob and my father got him this for Christmas one year - I have tried to block it from my sight line but every once in a while it will jump out at me and scream 'look how tacky I am!!' Okay, the voice is in my head but you get the drift.)3. Foodstuffs and alcohol can be re-gifted as long as you obey rules 1 and 2 and it is in the same calendar year. Do not keep that Pot of Gold box of chocolates from last year and try to pawn it off this year. I - uh - your giftee will be pissed if they spend the night horking their guts up because of bad chocolate. (Now, I don't know if chocolate goes bad but, I'd be pissed if I found out, but then how would I find out?) Screw it. Don't be a grinch with chocolate. You could hurt someone!
Wine does get better with time but make sure you haven't displayed it prominently in your home. That's right, Bob and I use wine as art because we don't really drink the stuff. Here, I'll take a picture so you can see.
Now, if this were my parent's house the wine would not be around long enough to get put up on the wall. Yeah! I said it! My parent's are lushes! I don't mind because my mother is actually more fun when she is drunk. Seriously, she should've been drunk all the time because then my teenage years may have been better than they were.
Welcome to this episode of My Parent's Suck When Sober.
Whoops, my family disfunction is showing. Excuse me while I tuck that back in place. Next!
4. Is there really a four? Are you still reading hoping against hope that I will tell you it is okay to give that pattent red leather sweater to someone else with loving sentiments?
You know what? I think it would be okay on two conditions. You would have to find something equally tacky and then you should give it to the person who gave it to you. Yep. Screw re-gifting. Give the gift that'll make them squeal in horror.
That aunt who gives you those gifts that make you teeth hurt? Give that wonderful vegetarian gift certificates to the nearest Steak House.
Oh, Oh, you have that person who is always returning your gifts because they didn't like them? Do a craft with macaroni! Return that!
The sister in law who thinks socks are the perfect gift? A wonderful satin thong - 3 sizes too big would be a nice choice. (an aside - Bob's mom does buy everyone socks but that is not the only gift she gives you. Apparently one of Bob's SIL sent everyone a pair of socks for Christmas and it was obvious to everyone that she had bought the jumbo pack and separated them so that everyone got one pair. Hey, if Christmas is hard financially then I would have no problem with that but apparently this woman would then buy gifts worth $200 - 300 for each of her family members. Uncool.)
And last but not least, send my mother an empty bottle of wine - whoops! Got away from me there.
Okay, that's my take on re-gifting. It hurts my tummy to do it but if I'm in real dire straights and I have too much stuff hanging around the house that someone else could use, then yeah, it's outta here.
Aren't you glad we don't exchange gifts.
3 comments:
If you've got that O, I think you've got one of Scott's pieces in there--check in the front part of the mag for a music article, chances are good it's written by Scott Frampton (the husband).
And re-gifting rocks! I gave that contact lens case to a friend who actually WORE them. Not as a gift, though, I was too put out by the original gift to hide that it had been given to me.
I have to say I'm okay with regifting as long as its something thats okay to give as a gift in the first place. Like I have a particular taste and not everyone gets that right, so if I get something that there's nothing wrong with and would normally make a good gift, but its just not to my particular taste then I'm fine with regifting it. I wouldn't regift something that was really distinctive or crappy. I'd probably keep it around the house in a closet for a while then throw it out. Or include it in a bag for the Salvation Army or something.
Megan - I probably have a few of Scott's pieces because I have the first three (or is it four) years of O magazine. I had to stop buying them because I no longer had time to read them and I felt like I wasting money. I used to take them in the car and would read the articles while I was in drive thrus but since I am trying to cut back on fast food, that time is gone. I went to recycle them and Bob said no, that's his retirement money ;)
Jay - why do I always forget the Salvation Army. Dang. I try and clear my closet out at least once a year and give it to charity but lately, I don't have that many clothes! I also try and get Bob to part with some of his winter coats. Problem is that they normally have his work logo on them. Still, some of these coats are very warm so I can always pull the stitching out.
I'm getting used to the idea of re-gifting but I have also started to put stuff aside and then asking my friends if they want any of the stuff. It's amazing how many of my friends say 'yeah, I'll take that, my mom has been looking for one!' They know it's decorating stuff that I have gotten tired of. Poor Bob, he always sees stuff going out the door and says 'hey, I like that!' Me: 'I've been looking at it for 5 years and I'm changing the style of the bathroom'. Yeah, poor guy.
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