Thursday, June 07, 2007


There are days when I know I'm more trouble than I'm worth.

I went out to do weeding and by this I mean I had to remove a patch of various growths from a 20' by 6' section of garden. I swear it was a jungle in there and I needed a machete. The first time out I wore gloves and was pulling at random. Some of the weeds eased out and some, well, they fought back and I got cranky.

When I get cranky I talk out loud. Okay, there were swear words too but it was about 7:30pm and no one was around. Except Cody. And he's used to me.

Turns out these things are vines of some sort and trail back to the mother planet that has probably been there since time began and thinks my feeble attempts at removing it is highly amusing.

I get hot and I can feel the blood moving in my veins and I figure Fuck it, I'm done.

I come in the house and cool off over about 10 minutes and think about how much more has to be done.

So I get the big guns out.

Well, we have the shittiest pair of nippers ever and I can't seem to cut through most of the stuff in the bed. Again, swearing, throwing plant death and general mayhem. I should mention that this garden is about 2 ft from the pool and it's covered and it's been bloody cold for 2 days so there is no way I want to fall in. That said, every time I heaved on something I could see myself falling into the pool.

Then I stepped on the 4 by 4 timber that is the surround of the bed.

It friggin moved!


Bob hasn't actually drilled the mothers into place and when that moved I swear my life flashed before my eyes because I wasn't going to hit the pool but crack my head on the side of the concrete.


Cody and I packed up and left the area.

Be that as it may, I really do worry about the way my body reacts to any kind of physical activity. I get flushed in the face, I can feel my blood moving in my veins and I get out of breath and I get so hot that I'm miserable. Now, I'm over weight but this kind of feeling has been with me since I was a teen (and I weighed next to nothing back then). Course back then I didn't really worry too much because I figured a heart attack wasn't possible. Now, I'm not so sure.

Bob told me I should get it checked but I really don't know what I'm checking for. I remember telling my doctor years ago that when I worked out and the instructor said it was time to check your heart rate, mine was off the friggin chart. My doctor just shrugged and said everyone's is different.

I'm not buying it now.

Oh! I used to swim lengths and that is the best for me because it keeps my body cool. I could do it for hours except for the fact you are alone with your thoughts and that can be boring. I did notice when I got out of the pool that I was dizzy but I wondered if the movement of my head while doing the front crawl for 30 minutes was the problem.

So, it looks like I need to do some investigating.

What's scary is that if I really am normal, then I am one huge pansy!

Edited: I have a wedding I have to go to in September and the dresses that are available for women of a certain size have 'tent' written all over them. So I decided to do some online shopping and Wowzer! I found the perfect dress, rouching where I needed it and enough sexy to make me feel like a million bucks. I went online today to purchase so I could check the fit and IT'S GONE!!



Mailyn said...

What's scary is that if I really am normal, then I am one huge pansy!

LMFAO!!! Cindy you are hilarious.

I suggest you try the Kimkins. It's very healthy and I've lost friggin 5 lbs in TWO days!!! Mom lost 5 lbs in 1 1/2 days!!!!!

And she is diabetic and 56 so she made sure it wasn't no fad thing before she joined. I suggest you register for the site [they have recipes, etc there and it's a one-time payment but it's good for life]

I've seen a lot of people there that need to drop 100+ lbs and so far they lost 30 or 40 in one or two months. I've also seen people that only need to lose 10 or 15 lbs so there is something for everyone. The best thing I feel is the support in the forum. There are easily hundreds of members and they help each other with any and all questions.

Lot of people are there because they have weight to lose before a big event.

Nikki said...

LOL! You are so funny! The adventures of Cody and Cindy!

I am overweight and it sucks. I have battled it all my life. Always up and down! I am too small for "fat girl" stores as I call them and too big for normal stores with normal sizes. The only place I really can find stuff in my size that doesn't look like it belongs to someone playing bingo at the local senior center is Old Navy. Nothing nice enough for a wedding though. Keep looking online I bet you'll find something. Good luck!

P.S. I wonder where those chunky girls on American Idol shop? They sure wear some cute stuff.

nath said...

LOL Cindy! I hate weeding, so you're very courageous to do it alone... and I think that for the flushing in your face, I do think that some part is probably normal, cos i do feel it too (not everytime I exercise tho...) and it's too bad for the dress!!!

CindyS said...

Mailyn is trying to kill me! I refuse to give up potatoes. I'll just cram my fat ass into a sexy dress and work it ;)

Nikki - Queen Latifa (?) is one sexy woman with curves and yeah, she may wear couture but they have to have stuff like that at regular prices for a big woman like me. I am not daunted! I shall find a dress!

Nath - if I walk on my treadmill and wear a heart monitor thing I am fine. I feel sweaty but I dress for it and my face gets flushed but I know that at any time I can stop and I'm at home. What I found with the monitor is that I actually try too hard and that's when I get into trouble. My heart monitor thing is broken so I'm just going to bite the bullet and buy another one so I can get my ass moving again and feel like I'm exercising properly.