Quick Bunny Post

I'm a bit on the frazzled side of life right now.

I can't wait for everyone to get back into their swing of things so I can get more than 6 hours of sleep at a time.

I'm just saying.

And I have this circular rash on my tummy. Killer itchy and it's now 3 days old. Cortate cream has been applied liberally and nothing. Still itchy.

Oh! Benadryl. That's what I'll do next. Good thing you were here cause I've been wondering what it was I had forgotten!

Crampage?

Why yes, thank you, it is that time again isn't it. So far people are still breathing so all's good in the hood.

My dishes/plates/knives/debris have taken the kitchen hostage and sent out a list of demands for some sort of cleaning schedule.

I don't negotiate with terrorists.

And finally, I'm addicted to Scrabble on the computer.

Totally Bob's fault. Not that it's helping cause he's even more addicted. But now we have two computers thus, twice the fun, twice the trouble.

It's still Cindy Week but I'm too tired to go shopping and yes, it's killing me!

Tomorrow though - tomorrow we take no prisoners.

Unless general ickiness gets worse, then we'll take to bed.

Last final.

Caressed by Ice has been shipped and is in the Toronto area!!!

Caressed By Ice by Nalini Singh

I'm jonesen for Caressed by Ice. I've got it BAD!!

Since you know I'm aching for this book then it wouldn't surprise you that I loved the first two books in her series and I'm haunting the bookstores around my house as we speak. (The eagle has not landed but that bad ass has to be circling by now!!)

So there is another fun promotion thingie.

Go here for the goods.

Can I just say I wanted to be Brenna cause I LOVE Judd. Okay, I'm embarrassing myself. Onwards!

Which Psy-Changeling Hero Is For You?

Your Psy/Changeling Hero: Hawke

An alpha wolf, Hawke is wildness contained, his strength as compelling as his beauty. Used to total control, he'll attempt to dominate any woman he claims, even as he loves her with an intensity born from the darkly sensual nature of his wolf. Dancing with this wolf is going to an exhilirating ride. Are you ready?Find out more about Hawke and the series at www.nalinisingh.com
Take this quiz!








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Yeah, Spoiled Rotten!!

First, thanks for all the birthday wishes!!!

I am currently writing this post up on my brand spanking new LAPTOP!!

Holy Hannah.

Bob bought me an HP Special Edition laptop. Now, I don't know what half of that means but I'm stumbling my way through things right now.

I'm not keen on not having a mouse so I might have to buy one of those tiny ones that go with laptops. I'm trying to figure out how to import my e-mail onto this computer but I'm having a horrible time with that. Part of this was so that I could be anywhere in the house (like on my comfy sofa right now) and check e-mail and surf the net. Looks like tech support is going to be getting some phone calls. Kristie? Whacha up to? Wanna make a few calls ;)

So, yeah, my charmed life is even charmier much to the chagrin of my poor family. Don't care though. I was just stunned when I opened this up because I have jokingly said to Bob a few times in the past few years how my life would be easier with a laptop.

Floored. Still in shock about the whole thing and I keep waiting for the owner of it to walk up to me and say 'hey, that's enough, time to give it back.'

Oh and it's white. Super cool.

There's a butt-load of features on this but I haven't figured it out. I'm just happy I figured out the wireless stuff I had to configure on my desktop. So I can surf on the net, I just can't figure out the e-mail thing.

It also has Windows Vista but I'm wondering where all the 'automatic' things are.

So I'm still alive. We had a great weekend although it poured on my birthday. Since I get a week I'm okay with it. I just want to get back in my pool which we haven't been in for almost two weeks because of the cold nights and laziness with the solar cover.

Hope you all had a great time and now I'm off to blog hop.

And check stock on Caressed by Ice.

Aug 25? Yep!!

Today's my birthday and the official start of birthday week. I'm trying to stay positive.

Enough about me, how about those books I ordered that I wanted oh so badly but have once again been thrown on top of Mount TBR?

Let's talk about those. But before we do can I just say that I know Nalini Singh's Caressed By Ice is going to save me.

I know it.

See, part of my mixed up psyche is to not really pay attention to the release dates of books. Let's face it, I get a little mental. So I kinda browse through and think 'shit, that's months away' and move on. For some reason I had Singh's latest not coming out until November in my brain so imagine my extreme joy when I discovered it was to be released on the 4th of September! - that's practically tomorrow!!!

And there was joy in the world.

Let's not talk about the stalking of stores or the harassing of poor innocent book clerks since discovering this two days ago. Just imagine if I had had a real clue about when the book was coming out. I would have been doing this for the past month. Easy. No really. I'm not well in this department.

On that note, I'm going to just jump over to my online store and see if any of my locals have this book in stock (they should because I pre-ordered the book and well, that's the way things happen around here. Just don't tell Bob!).

Dammit. Not there.

Anyways, let's talk books.

Desperado by Diana Palmer. I've heard that the powers that be have allowed her to go back to what she does best. Asshole heroes and the heroines who love them. I know that it's like watching a Springer Show in action but when Palmer gets everything just right, the hero grovel is the best. Soothes the angry beast C-Rex. And this was a hardcover for 5 bucks. Sweet.

Caressed by Ice by Nalini Singh. We talked about it. I'm sure I'll be buying it at the store long before it arrives on my doorstep but it was worth a try. I just can't wait!

Forget About It by Caprice Crane. I read her first book Stupid and Contagious back in February and had a blast with it. It's a romance with no sex. I know. But I think when I pick up these kind of books I consider myself reading in another genre - like Chick-lit. So I loved SAC and immediately started looking for her backlist. Doesn't have one, of course, because why would I fall for an author with a huge backlist. So I've been waiting oh so friggin' patiently for this one. It's release date is also Aug 27th. I'm taking it as a sign.

Wedding Survivor by Julia London. Huh. I can't remember why I bought this one. I'm pretty sure someone somewhere was talking about it. I need to keep better notes. Anyways, I've tried Julia London before but I found she was more chick-lit than I liked and well, it wasn't like it was the best chick-lit I'd ever read. So I've been avoiding her for years. Then someone in the ether talked about this book and how great a romance it was. Apparently it's that easy to get back in my good graces.

Silver Master by Jayne Castle (JAK). I had no clue she was still writing futuristics and I enjoyed the flower titled ones so when I saw this one was just released (and found no indication that it was a re-issue of an older title) I immediately snapped it up. I don't read her Quick books because they are too sweet and I hadn't really been reading JAK lately but her Castle books have usually hit the spot so fingers crossed on this one! Holy cow, it says it's the fourth in a series. I wonder if I own any of the others. Ugh.

Dangerous Lover by Lisa Marie Rice. I'm pretty sure this entire order can be blamed on this book. I figured it wouldn't be in stock anywhere (Canada), I've been sleeping like a vampire for a solid week, and I wanted it NOW, NOW, NOW!!! I haven't read a bad review although I'm glad Keishon let it be known that there is some serious plot situations that might have thrown me if I wasn't ready.

All the books are here except for the two that aren't out yet. Bummer. I think they should have HUGE book release parties on my birthday. You know, Singh, Ward, Stuart, they should all have big releases on Aug 25 every year. THAT would be a party.

Also, there may be another book winging it's way to me but it's super secret. Hush, hush kind of stuff really. Well, yeah, I think it is but you'll know later. Or sooner.

Let's wind this puppy up.

I know there are many of us kicking through a slump right now so the question - is there a book that you know will bust you out of your slump? I know I'd crawl over broken glass for that Singh book right now but I have to wait just a wee bit longer. I'm lucky. I'm not sure I could name another book that would kick me out of this slump right now. I think I need to be sucked into a book and I'm guessing it won't happen until maybe everyone goes back to school and work and leave me in peace. Maybe then I'll read.

One can hope.

New Rules (for Poor Bob)

So I'll start with some of the funny things from today.

First, don't bother taking your hubby shoe shopping. Nope, I made the mistake and well, it's not good for C-Rex.

My hubby, may the Lord bless him, is worried about my comfort while at a certain wedding in two weeks. I, however, am worried about looking 'fly'.

You're right, I can't pull off that kind of lingo.

Maybe I just don't want to look dowdy.

Did I mention my hubby is colour blind? Yeah.

So anyways I've dragged the poor man to three different stores on a Tuesday night. That would be a work night for y'all not knowing what the significance of the date is.

Hubby has been pulling shoes that look like Birkenstock (my hand to God!) off the shelf saying how these would be good for the wedding.

By the fourth time I asked him to stop trying to help but, every pair of shoes I grabbed to try on he would get all huffy and tell me my feet would hurt.

Now I'm not saying he's wrong. I just haven't found the right pair of shoes but you would think I could get some support from my love on trying to look nice.

OH!! Second - I don't know who decided to bring back super pointy toed shoes but if you have a size 10 foot like I do, you look like a giant ski slope. A witchy giant ski slope.

And honey, my junk does not look right perched precariously on a ski jump.

Hell no!

Like an elephant on the head of a pin.

(Bloody sexy looking though aren't they! Maybe on a skinny woman with a size 6)

Meanwhile I would love nothing more than to find shoes like the pair on the right in a shorter heel and about 550 bucks cheaper. I mean, really, not so much to ask.

Wait, where was I?

Right!

Basically, Bob has now pushed all my buttons and we're going home cause there are heavy objects (foot measure things) in every aisle and I don't need to spend the night with Bob at emerg.

So, we're in the van and I'm miffed and Bob's pissy and I'm all 'look, I look scruffy on a daily basis, I just want to look nice for one night, okay!'

Bob's all, 'You always look nice (the man is blind but that's part of the love) and what makes you think anyone is going to be looking at your shoes!? The only thing people are going to notice are your boobs!' Bob starts to pretend he's meeting someone 'Hi, I'm Bob and these are my wife's breasts.'

By which point I'm laughing. And yeah, I remember now I have to get the dress altered to 'lock and load' my bumps (or my lovely lady humps - every time I think I've heard it all I hear this song and think 'when exactly did we get to this point?' although I luurrrrve the Thong Song but I sing 'dong, da-dong, dong, dong'!) Damn, now I have to put it up - not work friendly!




So, I have to get my dress altered and buy new shoes without Bob's presence in the background.

Looks like daytime Cindy needs to make an appearance.

I'll try and give you all a two day notice but I can't promise anything.

NEXT!!

I'm the bill payer in the house. I do all the bills. All of them. Bob doesn't have to look at one, doesn't even have to think about them. He has his happy go lucky credit cards and well, the man's been a little too happy with the Home Depot.

Now I have suggested a number of times that Bob can take over the finances at any time but he likes just doing his thing and not worrying. That's for me and hey, I don't work so I'm A-okay with it. I even hide money (Bob knows I do this and loves when he's on vacation and discovers I have saved enough for a treat or two) and Bob has no clue where any of our bank accounts are. My parents think it's hilarious.

Blah, blah, blah, right!

Happy Go Lucky is about to become Pouty No Depot.

There is a certain time in every relationship that we have to step back and take stock and that's where we are with Home Depot.

So I tell Bob a few days ago that I'm thinking at the end of the month we trade our credit cards with each other and just keep one for emergencies. I see the shock in his eyes but I figure I'll just put it out there for a few days. (We've done this before because I too can become a little too enamoured of 'my precious' credit card - smooch)

This morning Bob is saying something about the shed and I say, 'well, you better get it done because I'm taking the HD card and the Rona card away'.

Silence.

THEN!

Bob: 'You wanna batten down the hatches, oh I'll show you how to batten down hatches. Yeah! No more eating out!

Me: Good I need to lose weight.

Bob: No more books!

Me: My TBR pile is massive, I can handle it.

*sputter*

Bob: No more Homesense (fav store for home design stuff)

Cindy: *shrug*

Bob: *pout*

I leave the room and I hear Bob telling Cody how his mom (that'd be me) is a meanie and doesn't like anyone to have fun.

A few minutes later I hear this horrendous noise and realize Bob is marching into the room croaking 'I work, hard for the money, I work, hard for the money, I work hard for the money so I can go to Home Depot!'

Me: How do you feel about being poor in retirement?

Bob: Shutup!! *pout*

Seriously, he's so cute when he lashes out although that threat about not eating out almost got me!!

Poor Bob. I felt so bad I said he could spend a 100 bucks -

Bob: A day!!

Me: Now you get nothing.

Course now he's getting me back because he bought my birthday gift today. He always does that and then says how he's not sure he can wait until the day of for me to open it. I play hard to get but tonight I was all 'You know, I can see you can't take the pressure so you should just go get my gift so I can open it'

Bob: *evil last laugh*

Damn, this video just makes me happy - except for the creepy guy in the background. Somebody needs to fire his ass!!

Houston, We Have Extreme Boredom!

Or ground control or whoever is out there that can make it different!

I'm definitely in a pickle and even I cringe to read that in writing.

I have lost any interest in reading. I mean, it's completely gone. Wiped out! I'm killer bored and I look at a book and think, nope.

Who am I?

If I had competing interests going on I could see the problem but I finished all the movies I rented last night, there's nothing on TV that is remotely appealing to me, shopping is blah and I'm in that 'killing time' mode again!

There's this saying that pops up every once in a while on my screen saver. I use Paperquote and everyday you can download a new picture and saying but they have been recycling something fierce lately.

Anyways.

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz, Anger in the Sky

I used to get mad when I saw that saying thinking she didn't know jack. Well, she's friggin' intimate with jack.

The not so good news, although there is comfort in the knowledge for me at least, is that I'm not the only one sucking on fumes. I've done the rounds tonight and I'm not the only one trying to fight off a slump or even boredom and exhaustion.

That said, my brain acts weird anyways so I know I have one of my best buds coming on Thursday so there is this need to get the house cleaned. Then my birthday is on Saturday so it's family day here and then because we left the whole summer blocked we have to go to our friends for a visit on the Sunday.

Stressful? Yeah!

I don't do well when our weekends are packed and poor Bob is feeling the brunt of this one. 'Had to do the stupid shed all summer and now we're booking the end of the summer solid!'

Oh yes, Pleasant Cindy was out earlier tonight.

Poor Bob.

You know how I know when I'm in a real honest to goodness slump?

When I buy a bunch of books online (like I did last night) and then look at the list the next day and think 'meh'.

I'll share what I bought next post and maybe I'll be able to scratch up some enthusiasm.

Wonder if I can buy that online?

Spreading The Love Winners!!

First, you know I'm a ham so of course my hubby is a ham.

Without further interruption here are the winners!



Everyone that commented on the two posts were entered because hey, it was open to all authors, any title.

So we have:

Nikki H - I'll look for A Rose At Midnight because TLADL wasn't as great (remember I love all things Stuart so if I'm saying that, you can take it to the bank ;)
Seton - I'll be looking for Dance by Judy Cuevas for you - I got the idea that that would be the one you would really squeee for ;) Let me know if I'm wrong!
Mollie - We'll e-mail each other - do you read historicals as well? Cause I think you may be getting more than one - esp. if the one you want is a penny! Ohhhh, Moonrise would be a good one to go with Black Ice!!

And the Bonus (I do so love bonuses!!)

Csquared! - Dance by Cuevas will be on it's way as soon as I find a few copies!

So, if you guys can send me your snail mails then I can look into getting your books to you ASAP.

Thanks for playing with me everyone!!

AND Many thanks to Rosie as I won her contest where I get a signed Sylvia Day book, a tote with Sylvia Day's info on it and a poster!

My Karma is back baby!!!

Following Kristie's Lead

While shopping for some books online just now I ran across a bunch of covers that had me wondering what the bloody hell was going on!! There are cover snarksters out there who are all over this stuff but these ones just kind of jumped off the list as I was looking for potential buys.



Now don't get me wrong, twins are a wonderful blessing but there is no way in hell I'd have time for romance while changing diapers, feedings, burpings, playing, laundry, night time eating, pooping, peeing ...

I'm just saying, someone would lose an arm if they so much as looked at me.

And sleep? You all know how I feel about sleep. Hell, I don't even have kids and Bob knows not to wake the bear!

Although I'm wondering about the 'twin' theme for this month.



Sure. Nanny makes three cause she's all young and pert and happy.

'Sweetie, this is going to be your new mommy.'

'No, my new mommy is going to be the young slut daddy boffed!'



Another baby cover!?

Well, it does say Royal Heir so I'm sure there are a bevy of servants around for the job of wiping Prince whoever's bottom!

Unless this is a love story between babies.

'Hey you, ya you in the incubator, I'm a prince don'cha know.'

'Oh, how exciting!'




Okay, this one again has a baby on the cover but the title is just too funny.

It's blurry but it is titled Her Pregnancy Surprise.

Was she not told she was pregnant and thought she had just put on a little weight?

Or maybe she was surprised that the baby is actually her husband's as her lover was Latino.



You don't supposed the Duke's Baby is the guy on the rock wall looking like he wants to be carried by his new mommy?

Just saying I saw this picture and wondered who decided this looked like a great manly shot of a hero?

Okay, I'll post late tonight the winners of the free books. You still have time to put a comment in with your name and HTF book title of your choice with a cap at 50 bucks. To get more information I believe the pertinent posts are now 3 down.

Just The Nitty Gritty

A few things happening around here. Some are Cindy specific while others fall into Bob's realm.

Okay, that was way too funny because Bob's realm is the shed. That's it, that's all, see you in the Fall.

We heard from the city and we have to move the shed.

Now, while Bob and I were talking about our outraged feelings I said something about moving only the back wall in so the shed remains where it is. I then said it would be funny as hell to re-coup the lost square footage as a bump out on the side of the shed.

Me: That'd show him, huh? Ha, ha, ha ... What?

Bob: You're brilliant! (a little ad libbing there but you get the point)

Schematics were drawn up, measurements were taken and the shed is about to become the world's biggest eye sore.

To the neighbour.

Poor bugger didn't have a chance against a woman who has nothing but time on her hands. I can't wait to buy over sized plastic candy canes to store on the back of the shed. I'll have to post before and after pics to explain it better so you'll have to wait.

Bob and I do feel bad for the guy but the man from the city told us to comply because the neighbour could forever cause us problems if we don't and he says, the neighbour has this stuck in his craw.

Once we comply there will be nothing he can do.

Nothing.

So Bob starts with compliance tomorrow. I'm thinking the neighbour will be gleefully rubbing his hands together as he watches the wall come down. I'm not sure he'll be able to take the shock when he sees just how much bigger the new wall will be. Not only that, it will still be pretty but not as pretty as it was because I told Bob if the guy doesn't appreciate the beautiful brick bottom then he doesn't get it. Full siding for him!

I'm a little worried about my Karma but seriously, don't mess with my hubby cause C-Rex loves to play.

Next?

Every single surface in my home needs to be dusted. That falls under me.

Between Cody's accidental paw fall and the cats with upset stomachs, I need to wash and sanitize every floor in the house.

Yeah, that's me.

We have company coming like normal but I'm feeling anxious about the messy house.

Bob's working on the shed and could care less.

So, uh, me.

And finally.

Emma, the princess kitty, has decided that her litter box is only a suggested area in which to do her business.

Any flooring in a 4 foot radius is also fair game.

Usually Bob's realm but, you know, the shed.

I'm it again.

If you haven't been by for a while please check out the previous post - FREE BOOKS!!

Addendum!

First, you guys are killing me!

Some of you haven't read Anne Stuart (Bob had to do CPR to bring me back) and some of you have read and don't like her (that's cool although Bob did stand by with one of those crash cart thingies and he looked a little too gleeful about it)

SO!

Birthday Week Addendum

Any Author, Any Book with a 50 dollar cap.

Cause come hell or high water, I'm sharing the love!!

Those who have already made a choice are free to make another one with another author. Just remember I might need time to find the book you want.

That said, I'm still a slut for Anne Stuart.

God, she must just cringe with fans like me.

For those confused, read post prior to this.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if 'addendum' means what I think it means.

Spreading the Love

You're going to want to stick around for this post!

Some of you may have heard about a little something around my place called Birthday Week.

If you're new here's the thing.

Bob and I have no kids.

No kids means no one to spoil.

No one to spoil - but each other! Yeah Baby!!

So Bob and I don't have birthdays, we have Birthday Weeks.

Okay, settle down. It's not nearly as decadent as it all sounds because I'm also cheap but basically we point to it and it's ours (within reason - we haven't bought a big flat screen TV yet because we're sure the prices will continue to come down - so far the plans working).

I've managed to keep Bob from pointing at anything larger than a bread box although there are a few people *cough* lots*cough who wonder why Bob has two trucks (trust me, that wasn't even a birthday week!).

As my mother has slurred at me a number of times 'I live a charmed life'.

Now she doesn't even need a glass of wine to say it. *wipes tear from eye* The good ol' days.

So enough about me, let's bring this around to you.

I've been thinking about how there are people who are still looking for the HTF books by Anne Stuart.

Now, I know this is huge news because I'm very subtle but I'm a slut for all things Stuart.

See, subtlety in motion.

1. So here's the deal, I'm going to pick three people to send an Anne Stuart book to. Thing is I'm buying these off the net so I won't actually see them but I will do the best I can on quality. Some books may only have one copy available. This is international baby so nobody is getting left out. If I can't figure out how to get the book to you from the seller, I'll have it shipped to me and then on to you.

2. You get to pick the title. So you haven't read or ever even seen a copy of A Rose At Midnight, well put your name and this title down in the comments. If your name is picked you get the title you've always been hoping for.

3. This may take me some time. For example, certain copies of books are in the high 60s but if I find a lot on ebay for cheaper with the book then I will buy that. Remember, I'm cheap or maybe I just like to shop a bargain. $50 is as high as I can go for one book. Also, if the same book title is picked by more than one person and it comes up then I may have to hunt for copies. This is why I'm starting this now (Aug 16th) two weeks before my birthday. If I'm lucky I can get the books to the three winners by my birthday. (Okay, looking at the calendar you may be looking at September and if I get in trouble finding copies well, Merry Christmas)

To keep things above board I will video tape Bob's hand picking the names from a hat showing them to the camera. (Hopefully we can do it quickly so we can get it all on video)

Let me know if I haven't covered anything.

Oh! I'll close this Sunday at noon and Bob will pick Sunday night and I'll post the winners then.

Enter in the comments with your name and the title you would like. I'll put the names in a hat and pick out three. If you win, you send your address to me (knowing that I will have to give it to the seller of the item) and voila!

You point to it and it's yours.

Two Days Notice Mandatory!

My husband came home tonight and told me that his family was coming out tomorrow for a swim and BBQ.

Now, for most people this wouldn't be a problem and it really shouldn't be for me either but, I have a few limitations.

For the last week I have been waking up feeling like I haven't slept. Crawling back into bed is my first thought but I can't sleep and I really just want to crash on the couch and not be bothered.

So I finally get up at 7:30pm and hear all the details from Bob. Only we have to go and get his prescription, I have to eat and stop at the movie store. By the time I do this the idea of having to walk all over the grocery store is the last thing I want to do. I mean really, am I the only one who would want a normal sized grocery store? Do I have to walk 15 miles for a bunch of hamburger buns and cheese?

Yes. Yes I do. And I'm in no mood.

So we come home and Bob wants to watch Contact and since Bob hasn't watched a movie in ages I want to sit and watch it with him also. Luckily it's a movie I liked the first time so it wasn't hard to just sit and enjoy.

Bob goes to bed after telling me he has now put 30 liters of chlorine into our pool over the last 24 hours (it's normally 10 liters per week so we've tripled that in a day). The blue green is still heavy.

Remember, people are wanting to go for a swim tomorrow.

I'm not sure they won't burn their skin off so I'm stressing over that. Then I go and check on the pool thinking it's gotta be clearing up at least a bit only I hear a sucking noise and decide to investigate. Luckily for me again, it's only the pool filter and not some sordid sex thing happening in the trees.

The pool needs more water for the filter to work properly.

Has this been the problem all along?

And are you supposed to be able to smell the chlorine when it's an outdoor pool?

So I'm trying to figure out what to do. Do I ask Bob to tell his family to wait until Friday because the pool isn't ready or do I just let them all descend on me and pray that everyone maintains their eye sight from the experience.

Let's not even discuss how I'm going to get food here.

Oh!!

And then, of course, there's the classic moment that happens before any company can get in the door.

Is it gonna be cat puke or dog puke, or a cat accident or a puppy accident? I don't know, let's spin the wheel shall we?

And, it's slowing down, and down again, hey, there's a new one on the board I didn't notice earlier, what the !!?

Dog steps in a fresh pile of poop in the yard unbeknownst to the owner who is frantically trying to figure out a way to make her pool safe to swim in!

Ding, ding we have a winna!!

Took me about twenty minutes to figure out where the hell the smell was coming from because it followed me into every room. Like my dog. I circled and circled around wondering why it was getting fresher. And Cody followed.

After the forehead slap I tried to figure out how I was going to clean his paw. Cause when you touch Cody's feet he looks like he does when he used to get in trouble. Not sure why he gets so upset but the moping was almost worse than the smell.

Poor guy had the fur in between his toes cut out and then I had to wash in between the pads but I didn't have a bucket to soap his foot up in.

The hidden disadvantages of owning a large dog. Not easy to clean.

So, not so new rule.

I need two complete days of notice before coming to my home hoping to catch a meal. I don't have a gopher or a cook, a maid or a dog groomer standing by waiting upon my nod to do their job.

If you just want to drop in and chat and drink some pop and try and raid the pantry, then make yourself at home.

Cat hair, odd poopy smells and an eyeful of clutter are yours free of charge.

If you ever need to feel better about your own home, drop in.

I'm sure one of my cats could drum something up for ya.

*gag*

And We're Back

So, how did you all enjoy the trip with crazy? Wild wasn't it?

We'd like to thank our sponsors 'Holy Lord, We're Over Reacting' reality tablets, 'Panic!' The board game that shows it's not just for life and death situations anymore and our favourite 'Grown Ass Woman Underwear, not for those who are weak at heart'.

Thank you all for your participation. This was a test of our 'Run, Run for Your Lives' Broadcast system. If this was a real life emergency well, let's face it, you're on your own.

Godspeed.

I tell ya, I hope you all popped some popcorn and cozied down with a tall cool one with that little drama. True, I involved no one else and it didn't leak over onto any other blogs but hey, I'm a one woman show and I now have the ego to prove it.

One order of humble pie comin' up!

Yep, that's the kind of shit that happens when you forget that the world itself does not, I'll repeat that, does NOT revolve around you.

As you can see I'm back and as humble as ever.

That's okay, I'll wait till your finished laughing.

Good?

Alright then, moving on.

Lean Mean 13? Have no clue where I last put it. I'd say I'm all worried and stuff but apparently it's barely registering on my radar. Weird that.

I have a list as long as the Mississippi of things I have to do and the energy of a three toed sloth. I'm thinking the Mississippi is going to swallow me whole.

Oh and sleep is playing hide and seek with me. The minute I find that devil I'm going to wrestle it to the ground and make it eat dirt. Cause I'm feeling fiesty.

How can I write that last sentence and then sit here feeling groggy all of a sudden.

I wonder how I'm even able to dress myself in the late afternoons.

I'll give you a minute.

See, I'm back.

In The Grass

I keep thinking that maybe I need to move this and then I remember all the links that come to this page and think screw it.

So I'm going to lay low and like I said, anyone is welcome here, just not so much the parental units. Which is weird because I'm about to turn thirty freaking seven. Egads I'm getting up there!!

Ames let me know that her dad sometimes gives her a hard time and then I think 'my parents wouldn't touch half the stuff I blog about with a 10 foot pole!'

They'd be all 'panic attacks!? That girl has quite an imagination. You know she gets her crazy from your side of the family!'

So for one week I'll be on private and then go back to public again. After that I think I'll find my footing and have at it.

Definitely a place where you read at your own risk.

If anything is said I'll just say, hey, I've been on there for 2 years and you just found it. Do me a favour and forget the address. It's not for you!!

Cause it's all about me dammit.

Aren't I a princess of a daughter?

Those of you with adult children, would you want to read their blogs?

Onwards!

On the reading front I still can't be bothered but it may be because my house has been declared a public health disaster zone. I'm afraid to open my fridge cause I'm sure the pizza box jumped.

You ever get those moments where you visualize yourself grabbing a bunch of empty garbage bags and just going through your house sweeping your arm over all the surfaces to get rid of all the crap?

I've been thinking about that a lot.

AND, why is it when I put some algecide in our pool for the first time in a few months, the pool turns friggin green with algae!? I'm thinking the algecide, is actually a growth hormone for algae. Smart for sure but I'm not using the stuff anymore!

I went in swimming tonight despite the blue green tinge but you couldn't see the bottom of the pool which in the end freaked me the hell out. I didn't expect it to bother me but I could barely see in front of me so while doing lengths I hit the wall a few times. It's not quite green but more aqua-blue. Bob stirred up the stuff by scrubbing the walls down with the big brush. Hey, I have no problem with that, just make sure we have liquid chlorine in the garage before doing it. I could have shocked the pool last night and it would have been crystal clear by today.

Now I have to see if I can get up in time to get liquid chlorine tomorrow so I can shock it at night. Course, if it's blue green again tomorrow I can't see wanting to swim in it. I was all 'hey, I've swam in lakes before, what's the problem?'

Problem is I haven't gone swimming in a murky lake for years!

And just to keep you guys up to date with Cody, his breathing has been getting more laboured. We keep the AC on now for him as the humidity makes it harder for him to breathe. Apparently Bob has noticed him having problems with his back legs. I haven't noticed this except when he goes to get on the couch with me. I used to grab his back end and heave him up on the couch but now he growls if you try and lift him. So I let him work it out and only grab him quickly to get him more firmly on the couch - I'm fast enough he can only grump for a second and it's over.

I'm going to call a mobile groomer for him so he doesn't have to go away from us.

What's funny is he will run to the van because he thinks he's going to Bob's mom's house where he follows the other dogs and gets biscuits from his gram. Too funny. I think he enjoys getting out of the house but I think Bob is watching him closely and seeing things I'm not ready to. So I would rather he be close to me if there is a problem and well, he's smelly and needs a bath and I can't see filling his pool with ice cold water like I did when he was a pup and lathering him up. He's too old for that kind of shock now!

Ah, well, I love the mug.

Thanks again, for dealing with me!

My Hubby

Yep, I love him. I really, really love him.

Tonight we were at our parents and I had taken pictures of the shed and e-mailed them over. Well, I got the e-mail address wrong so MY HUBBY told my father to look up Nocturnal Wonderings because I had pictures there.

MY FRIGGIN' PRIVATE BLOG.

Uh, yeah.

So panicking like no one has panicked before I came home to see what the hell I could do to block my parents from reading my blog. I so don't need their hair catching fire in anger, you know what I mean.

Thing is I'm not entirely different around my parents but I don't swear around them. And they don't quite believe in panic attacks. And I write about the books I love and I believe one of my posts is titled 'Sex, Yes Please.'

Yeah, I love my parents but I don't need to have anything from here thrown back at me so I have run through my sidebar and found as many e-mails as I could to invite you guys to read the blog. This way, my family shouldn't be able to read it. I have no clue if this is true or not but I'm grasping at anything I can right now.

There are many people who don't have e-mails listed so if you get a request or anything just let them know I need their e-mail address to let them read the blog.

My address is rsmith41@cogeco.ca. Maybe a few of you could put up a notice on your blog that I'm still here and how to get in touch with me.

I can't believe Bob outed me!!

I think because Bob couldn't be bothered about what I write he thinks that my parents wouldn't be but I wonder if curiousity would bring them to it. Maybe they would get bored in the first minute and leave it be. I don't know.

So I apologize for this. I don't have Sybil's e-mail or Mailyn's e-mail and I think they could help me figure out how to transfer my posts to another host or something like that. I may also change the name of the blog at that point.

I guess after two years of freedom to meet people who accept me for who I am, I just figured I would never be found out.

OUT!!

Oh, and tonight I had a killer panic attack before dinner. First one in over a year. This was before Bob let the cat out of the bag. Goober.

I considered bolting. I was ready to run or make up an excuse that would be seen through a mile away but I took those damn pills that are supposed to stop a panic attack in it's tracks.

Uh, not quite.

So there was a moment where I bolted out the front door and stood on the stoop and concentrated on my breathing and getting it right to keep the panic at bay. On a scale of 1 to 10 it was an 8.

Once I got centered I was able to go into the house but I only ate a small portion of steak and put the smallest amount of food on my plate as I could. This was typical of my panic ways before so it was quite humbling to be at that stage once again.

So, bummer of a night.

Let me know if this is a pain in the ass because really, I can just delete posts I think my parents would be upset by (family posts etc.) and put it back to a public blog.

Other than that, I had a great time. No really. Just Goober head outed me. But I love him to itty bits so he's all cozy in bed sleeping the sleep of the innocent not knowing the kind of havoc he has thrown me into.

Alpha Dog

Really quick I wanted to jump in and let you know that I just finished watching the movie Alpha Dog. I rented it out of desperation thinking I didn't really want to see a movie with a bunch of young actors acting like punks but TV is all repeats as you well know.

Here's the deal.

There were parts that definitely could have used some editing but WOW. I was freaking out at a certain scene and not believing it was happening. If I had known this movie was based on a true story before I watched it I would have been seriously out of control.

If you haven't seen this movie I would recommend it but it's not all flash and bang. It's more about a bunch of guys smoking dope and partying but what happens is tragic and heart breaking. I just found the real life story it's based on and for the most part the story plays out true to life.

I don't want to say too much so as not to spoil it for you guys if you decide you want to see it. The first 10 minutes or so ain't much but letting you in on who the characters are and how they relate to each other. There also seem to be a lot of dates/times/places that flash on the screen.

So let me know if you've seen it because it plays into how we all once felt when we were in our teens, all invincible and mighty.

Seriously?

Thanks everybody for the well wishes and saying you may just stick around. I figure I'll be one of those last to leave so I'll lock up.

That said, it's a good thing I don't have a specific theme for this blog because I'm dredging the river.

A lot of deep thoughts have been floating around but you know me, I'm trying to bat them away so I can maintain my cloak of Simple Cindy.

OH!! That reminds me. I've been trying to read the 13th installment of Evanovich's and well, I want some friggin' royalties! Damn, I wish I could remember the heroine's name. (You know I could totally understand my lack of memories if I had done some serious drugs when I was a teen but I was crazy pure. No really. I'm not pulling your leg. I even refused to try smoking and only did it when I was 23 years old. Then I razed my brother who was a closet smoker (but Lord could you smell it) by telling him to give me a smoke and when I smoked in front of him he completely freaked out. He's 5 years younger than me the bum and couldn't handle seeing me smoke. So yeah, I pulled the 'so how do you think I feel knowing you smoke?' on him. Bitchy sister I am.)

Crap, where was I?

Oh right, you know how I can be Bitchy Cindy or Bad Cindy or Lazy Cindy? Well, I'm reading Lean Mean 13 and come across the heroine calling herself by this. No not my name, using hers! So now I'm wondering what came first. Have I been totally stealing from Evanovich or do I see some cold hard cash coming my way.

Since cold hard cash never comes my way I'm guessing I'm a cliche. Stupid Cindy.

Course we could be both stealing from that commercial 'Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids'.

Mean Kids. Just share some of your cereal with the poor rabbit.

After this I'm betting you're wondering if I know what a deep thought is.

Oh and our silent partner guy is getting married on Saturday so Bob and I are going to the church to see him get hitched. He would have invited us but he knows what I'm like and figured Bob and I would rather not party. He was right of course cause I would have just worried for months about the date. This way it came up suddenly so I dragged Bob off to find a pair of Spanx (tiny miracle that it kind of does what it says) and then I had to buy all new make-up.

As a rule, I don't wear make-up cause, hi, lazy. Bob also says stuff like how he loves that I'm all natural and that I don't wear lipstick and such. Anyways, that's all well and good on an everyday kind of thing but I'm not showing up to a fancy event without some concealer and blush. I even bought mascara but over the years my left eye has become so sensitive to anything but water and soap that it weeps or leaks when I put anything near it. Stupid Eye.

Now I know I say things like Stupid Cindy but even I know I'm about to drop a mint on make-up.

No way around it.

Bob is with me and is extremely patient while I try and figure out if I'm fair, light pale, light buff pale, light buff, etc into perpetuity. I'm telling you, trying to figure out which colour you would be without looking like you put on a mask is frustrating! So finally Bob's all, 'do you know how expensive this stuff is?' Me, 'yep'. Bob 'You know I prefer you without make-up' Me 'Yep'. Still bought what I needed though and I think I'm fairly light handed about it anyways so Bob barely notices when I put the stuff on. I just get a 'you look great!'

Now let's just hope I don't pull one of my 'oops' moves while colouring my hair.

Although I hear animal prints are in.

Two Years!? Me Thinks I Have A Hobby!

I never would have thought I would have kept this up for a month let alone two years.

I think it's official, I have a hobby!

Yes, talking about yourself is a hobby. Okay, true, journaling is a hobby and this is like a journal except without all the extrapolation on the meaning of life and what my existence might me in the greater scheme of things.

Hey! Sit down. Like I'm suddenly going to go all deep on you. I mean, really.

You've been here before so you know I'm about to go off the tracks but stuff is just kind of coming to me as I sit here so, good luck.

In this past year I have met three of my fellow bloggers! Kristie (more than once and many more visits to come), Nath and Ames (who may make another visit to our area next year!). If you had told me I was going to meet people through blogging I may have scurried away from the computer. Yeah, that anxiety bitch. But in the end, it didn't stop me from meeting fantastic people who love to read just like me. As Bob says, 'there's more than one of you!?'

So really, the only goal I have is to meet even more of the amazing people I have met while blogging and that would take some coin. If I win the lottery though, look out!!

I'm wondering what I should try and do more of this year.

Reading was a given wiseacre.

I'm actually thinking about painting and re-decorating the house.

This is good news as the thought of this a month ago would have paralyzed me but now I'm working through the logistics in my head. Bob has to go away for one night (I really need two nights cause I have to paint the ceiling too) in a few weeks so I'm thinking of surprising him with the living room being done. I used to do this all the time when he traveled only because he's a pain to do any kind of task around. 'How much longer is this paint tray going to be here? Why are the walls only partially done? I can't stand the room looking like this, I have to move the furniture back in!'

Seriously, Aries are fucked up (settle down, you know I love him to pieces). Lucky for him I'm a Virgo and we're all easy going and shit. We also have excellent aim so when they see the foot lifting off the ground they know to move their ass.

Yeah, I'm not seeing any growth here in these pages so I don't think you'll find many changes here. I enjoy blogging and I enjoy visiting with all you guys at your blogs.

It's fun and hey, I've heard that's what a hobby is supposed to be about!

Finally!

Well, I finally did it.

I finished Whispering Rock by Robyn Carr and I'm at 20 books read for the year. At this rate I'll be lucky to hit 40 books by December.

Hey now, I don't like to set lofty goals you know. I should rename this blog 'The Proud Underachiever'.

Cindy Blurb: The heroine's name is Brie and she is a DA for a huge city (I'm not looking it up or it'll ruin my image). She was dumped by her cheating husband about a year ago and lost a huge trial but the worst is that she is brutally beaten and raped. This happens off the page and is not graphic except when it is being explained to the hero and her family.

Mike, meanwhile, is an ex-cop, marine, superhero of some sort who was shot in the line of duty. Or while out hunting. Can't remember. (Nah, he's the hero, so of course he was shot while hanging from a helicopter yelling 'Die mofos!!') Anyways, he has been recuperating in Pleasantville - wait, Virgin River actually and has been falling head over heels in love with his best friend's sister Brie.

The opening of the story is Mike finding out about Brie's attack and then rushing to the hospital. Here we start to meet the cast of characters (in the thousands) who will now occupy every other page and steal the limelight from the H/H.

In a nutshell, Mike is patient and brings Brie back around over months (they see each other every few weeks for lunch) and instead of learning more about these two people and what makes them tick, we are given a plethora of glimpses into other people's lives and problems. I had to check the back of the book a few times to figure out who the H/H really were because there were pages and pages where neither character made an appearance.

HEA occurs, the end.

This book has been following me around for weeks and tonight I just wanted to finish it. Not the books fault, just real life intruding but I liked the characters enough to want to know what happened. So that's good news cause if I hadn't cared I could have tossed the book back into the TBR pile and not worried.

I think I may have had a clue that this book wasn't really a romance before I opened it but the blurb sucker punched me into re-thinking this. That kind of screw up usually leaves me disappointed and frustrated. For the most part frustration is what I felt.

Like I said, there were pages and pages where Brie and Mike weren't even mentioned or part of the story for that matter. There were just too many people running around and I get that this is the third in a series of books but not only are you re-visiting every person who ever landed on a page, you are meeting those who have only been talked about.

Cast of characters list from memory:

Jack and Mel and baby - I think they actually had more page time than Mike and Brie and I think their book was the first in the series.
Preacher and his wife - book two in series. Had almost equal face time as Mike and Brie
Tom and Brenda - teenagers in love
Another couple that were teenagers in love in a previous book
Paul and Vanni and now a baby - set up for a future book.
Gad, then there was Vanni's dad and brother, other men who arrived with Paul, shit how many people are we at .... 15 people, oh wait!, there were members of Brie's family who had parts to play also soooo, let's say 18 to be safe.

That's 16 more people than I need in a romance book.

Just saying.

Also, Kristie nailed it when she talked about how these men are too perfect. In fact, the women in the books are close to normal. You know, PMS, morning sickness, bitchiness in general. The men meanwhile, are honorable, know their 'women' (ugh) and how to deal with them when they are in a mood (double ugh), oh and they were all 'playas' but now they are happily shackled to their women. Bleck.

All that said, I will read at least the first book in this series. I'm wavering between a B- and a C+ for this one. It's hard to grade a book a C when it at least kept you reading. In the end though I did skip about 30 pages without missing anything. Okay, maybe a trial and the part when the teenage rapist (should mention this was another subplot) was caught but I wasn't exactly caring about all that anyways.

Screw it.

Straight C for this one but I'm not giving up on this author yet.

Next up is something breezy and easy to read.

Probably Evanovich.

Or Dr. Suess.

Our Long Weekend

It's our long weekend here (civic one so stores are open) so I won't say too much.

My family came yesterday to help with the shed and to go for a well deserved swim. My brother helped to cook on the BBQ - really it takes two people moving the stuff to keep it from catching fire. Even my brother was all 'holy crap, what kind of grill is this!' and it was set at the lowest heat.

Poor Bob had been up since the crack of dawn and working out by the shed (he doesn't make noise until well later in the morning but moving dirt and getting his plans ready keep him busy enough) so I think he made it to the end of dinner before he disappeared. He was out for about two hours before he came down with his fauxhawk (my cousin had given him one while they were swimming so he decided to leave it in) and blurry eyes. I love my family for accepting my husband the way he is. Heck, they even said at one point, 'Cindy, he's sleeping so leave him be!'. (I hadn't realized he was sleeping yet and I had a question)

Luckily he woke up just in time because we were playing a game and my tummy was tanking. He took my spot so I could do my pain in the ass bathroom runs. Stupid tummy. My cousin and her boyfriend watched a movie and played on the computer while we were all playing our game.

I do love having my family over. I just wish I had a professional cook to do all the prep, cooking and clean up. Actually, once my kitchen is done properly I know it'll get easier because it will all be more efficient.

That said I have shed pics! I know, I don't know how you all contain yourself. I believe you can click on the pics and supersize them. Aren't you just a lucky ducky.

Bob and I didn't understand each other when we were ordering the brick. I thought the brick would go all around the 'bump out' while Bob said it was proper to have the 'bump out' be all sided. I guess after having me describe what I had thought was happening Bob decided he liked the idea and ordered more of the brick. (the brick is actually plastic siding which it really cool)

The dirt we loaded up is all under the shed now and that's where Bob put in the retaining wall. Oh and the door is white now but I bought a dark shade of brown, gray for it.

Hmm, this one looks crooked but it's because I'm rammed up against the fence. This is the side of the shed by the pool. Things worth noting. The roofs ridge cap - look to the top of the roof and you will see a white part and then the peak. This is a vent that Bob designed after seeing it at a huge horse farm up here. Also, you will see how Bob notched the roof around the tree that is standing there. This is just how nestled we are in the trees. In fact, let me post a picture of the shed from the other side.






Yep. That's nestled in there all right!

You can't see it in this picture but Bob even has a huge limb pulled back and tied off so they can work on the shed. Hey, there's all the dirt we carried in by the tractor load! (Ha. Ha. I did too help move the dirt and I have all the aches and pains to prove it!)


This is from the same side but you can see the bump out better. It was designed with a bump out because Bob knew if he was going to build a shed it was going to have a make me happy.

Now we're just waiting to hear from the city. Our neighbour who complained finally one upped the city guy who was trying to ignore the problem. As he said, the city doesn't like to get involved in these kind of disputes and who can blame them? I guess he said he was really surprised when he saw the quality of workmanship and the care and quality of the siding. He said the way the guy (neighbour) described it we had built a two story behemoth.

Our problem now is that we may be too close to the lot line but it was done that way so as not to damage the tree roots and thus kill these massive beauties. We're hoping for leniency on that.

We did find out more about the neighbour (the people beside him applied for a bungalow and when everyone signed off they built it - well it's a contemporary building and I guess it cut off much of our neighbour's view) and we feel bad for him but it wasn't our fault that they didn't pay attention to what the neighbour was building.

Ah well, we're hoping for the best!

Are We Coming In Yet?

I think I'm coming back now.

It's been a wonking week for sure but I don't want to think about all that's happened here and in Minneapolis where we have friends. I can tell you we are all here and accounted for but the emotional and spiritual wounds are going to take some time.

So, in my need of comfort I want to talk about books! I can't even begin to tell you all how much I miss reading right now. Bob was such a dream tonight when he told me we needed to slow down and do things right. Like reading. No, really. He said reading!

I know tomorrow won't be the day as my family is coming for a visit and it's gonna be like 40 degrees C here so the pool is going to be working over time. And so will the BBQ. Ugh.

Anyways.

Tonight we went to Costco and for the first time ever I bought some books there. Normally I don't bother since I have that pesky 'can't buy only one book' rule and the selection at our store is usually slim pickings. On that note, it is actually getting even worse and that's saying something.

I bought:

Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner. I'll be honest, I have no clue what I'm getting into but I haven't heard anyone diss one of her books. I have been looking over her books for a while but the book was 10 bucks and well, that's half price up here. I figured it couldn't possibly be that bad. Yeah. A lot of my bad decisions have started with that thought but I'm working on my optimism.

Into the Storm by Suzanne Brockmann (wow! She's finally cleaned up her website, it's not perfect but it looks much better). Six bucks for a brand new paperback from an author I used to love like Cody loves biscuits. I needed a break from her and I'm thinking it's been close to two years since I read a book by her. After checking, it strikes me as ironic that the last book I read by her was called Breaking Point (July 2005) and it's been exactly two years. How many books ahead is she? One. Apparently she needed a break also. I don't plan on reading this one very soon as who needs to get sucked back in right now. I can wait.

Motor Mouth by Janet Evanovich. Six fifty for a book that would cost 11 bucks. Sweet. Evanovich has not quite fallen to the ranks of which I hold MaryJanice Davidson. I only buy certain books by Davidson whereas I have bought all of Evanovich's books. I can't say I really loved the first book in this series but I think it made me smile and right now, that's all I'm expecting from this one. A quick read that will make me smile.

In the end, the joy of tonight was just being able to pick up these books and buy them knowing they may work or maybe they wouldn't and it was okay either way. I have been so dedicated to finding keepers that I didn't realize the anxiety it was producing in my reading. Do I want to read keepers? Damn straight but a good book can soothe the soul also and I have to start remembering that not everything can be the bestest ever. It's okay to like something that has bumps and bruises and the odd moral dilemma that another reader can't stand. I can only give my opinion on a book and I need to loosen up about how I am approaching them.

Reading has always been an escape for me and I have lost that over the past year. I know it has a lot to do with how my mood has been but I was delighted by the freedom I felt tonight in buying a few books that weren't necessarily going to hit the 'winner' button.

I hope I can retain that feeling. It may be only a tiny part of the reading experience but it reminded me of when I first started reading romance. That time when there was a whole section of books by authors you had never read or even heard of before. It was definitely a time of adventure because you never knew what you were going to get and in the end, that was part of the fun.

I'm Bringing In The Silly

Ferrari

A hip young man goes out and buys a 2008 Ferrari GTO. It is the best and most expensive car available in the world, costing about $500,000.00. He takes it out for a spin, and while stopping for a red light, an old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"

The young man replies, "A 2008 Ferrari GTO. They cost about a half a million dollars!"

"That's a lot of money," says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.

The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?"

"Sure," replies the owner. So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.

Leaning back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right!" Just then, the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what this car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 320 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

He slows down to see whit it could be, and suddenly, whhhoooossshh! Something whips by him, going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?!" the young man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot doming towards Whooooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And it almost looked like the old man on the moped!!

Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a moped outrun a Ferrari?!" Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whooooooosh Ka-BbblaMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The young man jumps out, and it IS the old man!!! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. He runs up to the dying old man and says, "You're badly hurt! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man moans and replies, "Yes. Unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!"

The Golden Saloon

A guy comes home three sheets to the wind and all three sheets ripping bad, Budweiser sloshing around in his belly like a keg adrift in a roiling sea. He sloshes through the door and is met by his wife, who is scowling, figuring he's been out jumping new bones.

"Where the hell you been all night?" she demands.

"At this fantastic new saloon," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden."

"Bullshit! There's no such place!"

"Sure there is! Joint's got huge golden doors, a golden floor. Hell, even the toilet's gold!" The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story.

"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.

"Yes, it is," bartender answers.

"Do you have huge golden doors?"

"Sure do."

"Do you have golden floors?"

"Most certainly do."

"What about golden toilets?" There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling,

"Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy who shit in your Tuba!"

These were the two that made me laugh out loud and today was a long day. Just so you know I haven't given up on the idea of finally finishing Whispering Rock. It's just been very, very busy the past few days.

Hope all is well with you guys and I'll hopefully get a chance to make the rounds tomorrow.

For Our Magoo

With your indulgence.

I'm not sure I will ever hear this song again and not think of our Magoo. I asked for lots of stories today and I heard things that can only make you shake your head in wonder at such a wonderful man. This song was chosen by his boys and I think it fits the man to a T. I wish I had known him longer because 12 years was not enough.

We will be playing this for Bob's day today.