I've talked about how I don't do resolutions and I don't. It just so happens that my basement has been put to rights and my treadmill is now very accessible. I stared it down for a couple of weeks but enough was enough. Time to get back to it.
Last week I only got on it twice but Bob and I walked outdoors the third time.
Last night however, I am sitting on the couch feeling like a slob while the treadmill mocked me. I decide I have to get on the bloody thing but, I no longer have 2 pairs of runners so my runners are upstairs.
Apparently a world away.
I think to myself and figure, hey, I've walked on the treadmill without shoes before. What could happen?
Maiming.
I get up off the couch and my laziness proves to be my curse. I am barefoot but, people walk all the time barefoot. I mean, shoes had to be invented, right?
Now, I know why.
I walked my darnedest on the treadmill. Went to my highest setting for walking and broke a sweat while watching a very bad HBO comic. Very, very bad. It kept me hoofin' though.
Now, just to show that I am a bit of a moron (easy!) I noticed that the treadmill had the feel of rough sandpaper under my feet. Add to this the walking at a fair clip and I guess there was some friction. After 20 minutes I am able to climb down off the treadmill and head to the couch. I watch TV for the next hour or so.
Oh, time to get Bob up! I rise and the chorus of 'Ows' begin. In the first few steps I believed that I must have torn all the skin off the bottom of my feet but, there were no bloody footprints.
Okay, walk it off!
It's now 5 hours since the ill fated trek and each step is a lesson in pain. I figure I will have 2 massive blisters on the balls of my feet by the time I get up later tonight (damn sleep schedule again) but, not only that, as I am sitting here I am noticing that my heels are starting to get that stretchy, sensitive skin pull sensation.
When I got Bob up I told him about my stupidity and whined about how I was even going to be able to walk around the house let alone exercise again.
Seems like the perfect moment to write -
Hoisted upon my own petard. Dang, it doesn't mean what I think it means. Damn. Not a good time to write this but, what the hell, I understand what I think I mean to say ;)
Edited to add: I have walked on the treadmill in socks and now that I think about it I had a slight rug burn effect afterwards but it was nothing compared to what is happening now. Damn my lazy bones.
9 comments:
You made me laugh this morning. I once tested an iron with my toe because I was too lazy to get up and do it the right way. Burnt that piggie real good.
Being lazy is not worth the effort.
OMG!! I can't stop laughing! That would totally be something I would do *except* burns scare the beejeepers out of me! That's why I don't iron. No really. I don't iron.
CindyS
Lazy, Megan? Once I ironed my skirt, only to realize after I put it on that I had missed a small but noticable section of fabric. Rather than take the skirt off and put it back on the ironing board I decided I'd just iron it ON MY BODY!! And to prove just how much of an idiot I was, I actually pushed the little button for steam. Got a lovely 3rd degree burn for that one.
Jay and Cindy:
So basically we're all lazy idiots. Well, at least we're all in good company, right? I love that skirt story, Jay, that is TOTALLY something I would do. My husband still reminds me when I took a hammer to a chicken breast 'cause I figured it was close to a meat mallet. Almost went vegetarian that day.
God Bless you guys. I had a couple good belly laughs over your poor mishaps. I was telling Bob about them and he was chuckling. When I told him what I said, he said, 'yeah, you used to iron my clothes but I don't get that kind of treatment anymore'. Oooops, guess I never mentioned being afraid of hot things.
Ovens scare me also and the oldstyle burners used to do me in but it was because I always had a impulse to touch the burner. I never did but I was always surprised my brain would go that way!
I was at my Mom's one night and she was cooking something and the buzzer was going off. She wasn't around so I grabbed a pair of her oven mitts and went to pull the tray out. Holy Lord!!! Turns out the thumb on one of her oven mitts no longer had any protection. That digit swelled up something fierce. Then there was the night she put dinner out on the stove and we were to get what we wanted. She forgot to mention one of the dishes had come out of the oven - yowza!!
When I make a turkey dinner I am always afraid I am going to fall into the oven because of the weight of the thing.
How's that for being slightly insane ;)
Thank you, Cindy, Megan, and Jay for giving me the giggles. I was sitting here feeling a bit low (I had a really crappy day) and you have cheered me up. Bob says every time I go in the kitchen I either cut myself or burn myself. (I had to drive to the clinic once to get 5 stitches in my thumb).
I'm a danger to myself around the stove, oven, broiler, toaster, microwave, curling iron, clothes iron (Jay I did the same thing once), and hot glue gun. I hate burns so you'd think I'd be more careful. I'm glad I'm not the only one. :) Cindy, that sounds so painful! Hope you heal quickly.
Okay, so two of you have husbands named Bob? lol I was getting confused.
And people....you are the reason there are all those stupid warning labels!!!!
*grin* I even have a book on them.
Okay in my defense this skirt story was from like 10 years ago. So I was 14/15 maybe? Probably old enough to know better, but at least I wasn't a full fledged adult. The hammer to the chicken thing, though, I'd totally do. I mean I'd wrap the chicken in plastic first and only pound softly, but yeah. Totally do it.
omg!
People as lazy as I am!!!!!!!!! You are so all my peeps. Well not nicole... she can sit in the corner with my mother.
Although really walking on the trendmill without shoes is so something I wouldn't have done. Used the excuse that the shoes where too far away, so I couldn't walk on the treadmill - yes THAT I would do.
sez the 30 year old who's mother did her dishes today while trying really really hard not to scold
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