Friday, July 27, 2007


Bob has managed to activate my super sleep mojo.

I swear Bob has a scent on his skin that lulls wild animals to sleep. Turns out he can do it to me also.

Hey! I heard that!

This past week has been stressful for Bob (his 88 yr old Dad is in the hospital with pneumonia - we think he is now on the mend although there were a few nights there where Bob's stress level was at it's peak) so when he got home from work all he wanted to do is fall into bed.

Now, let it not be said that I'm not a supportive wife. I dutifully crawled back into bed with him knowing I wouldn't sleep a wink.


I woke up the one time thinking I had only slept for a few minutes to discover Bob was gone (Bob can actually sleep for 20 minutes and wake up refreshed. Yep. He's a martian.). I rolled over to discover I had been asleep for 3 hours! Now normally this wouldn't be a big deal but when I know I'm going to have company I tend to stress about the fact that my clock has probably just been sabotaged.

I'm thinking Bob is going to wish he had never lulled C-Rex into a few unexpected naps by the end of this weekend. Remember those questions I was saying yes to? I'm betting the only noises from me will be growling sounds.

You Are About To Enter Rant-Ville. You May Just Want To Leave Now. You've Been Warned.

On top of that, our very nice neighbour behind us has proven that even crazy people can be charming. We were so fooled by this guy.

We are building that shed (the siding has been backordered again (how that can be since the lady called to confirm they had stock is anyone's guess but whatever)) so we have a friend come to help put up the roofing on the back slope because it's pretty close to the fence and Bob wants a skinny guy to help.

Sure enough, our buddy is nailing up the first few rows of shingles and puts his foot back on the fence to steady himself.


This guy comes flying out of his house and yells at Bob 'I told you I was going to City Hall didn't I?'

Bob says 'Yeah.'

So he turns to our friend and says 'They aren't being cooperative with this monstrosity so that fence isn't a ladder!'

Our friend immediately apologizes and tells him it won't happen again.

Road Trip!!

You know, people are really lucky that they pull this kind of shit when I'm not around. I would have looked the guy dead in the eye and said 'Unless you have receipts proving that this fence was paid for in full by you then it's considered communal and we'll use it the way we want'. This would have quickly been followed up with 'We told you we could plant trees but you don't want
to compromise. No, it's your way or the highway. Well, let me tell you something, I am currently shopping for bright pick siding with lime green trim for your side of the shed. Hell, I might even put up some huge plastic candy canes to make it look like a candy house. That would be sooooo cute. Our side will look like a little Cape Cod shed but hey, you've managed to piss me off and I'll show you what being un-cooperative looks like.'

But then I'm a bitch.

The minute I start getting lippy Bob hushes me so maybe it's better I'm not even around when it happens. Although I'm considering knocking on this guys door when Bob's at work.

So anyways, Bob and his buddy reach the point where they can no longer stand on the scaffolding to put up the shingles. Bob goes around the shed and can hear his Buddy say 'yeah'.

Turns out the guy has been sitting in his porch watching and came out with his arms crossed and yelled over 'Well, this should be interesting'. See, numbnuts thinks they will have to use the fence to stand on.


When I was out at the Home Depot with Bob I suggested he buy some ladderjacks so that he could put the shingles up without having to grow wings. Bob was thrilled with this and promptly bought the needed gear. (Let's face it, he's not a roofer and how often will you need such a thing but hey, I'm all about safety and efficiency)

To have been a fly on the wall when the neighbour saw that!

What's a ladder jack? Well, it's a bracket that you can nail onto the roof (use three or four) and then place a solid board across them all. That way, the roofer has a solid level surface to stand on when shingling. Not sure if you can get the idea from the first picture as it would be better if it was from the side.

This next picture is just crazy! The roofers are using the level part (supported by the ladderjacks) to put their ladders on so they don't slide off the roof!

And I think my neighbour is a whack job!

So in a nutshell that's been the drama in our little world. Pathetic really but some people need to grab a friggin' clue!

And just in case you
are thinking we're sucking butt, the area where Bob has put the shed up is where both this guy and the other neighbour store their TRASH!!! And whatever other crap they have. Wait. I think I have a pic.

Hmmm, found this one but I cropped it and then lightened it so you could see the wire stuff and the garden tools. (I wanted a picture of their yard since it is so nice in the areas that aren't backing onto our property) This is all stuff we can see while in our pool. Did we say anything? No! Cause it's their yard and they can do what they want. Sheesh. Some peoples kids.

Oh, shit! Get this, Bob met them for the first time a few weeks before he started the shed. They talked about our dogs and how they were sad when they noticed we only had one now. They had lost their dog just a few weeks before we moved in. Turns out they never had kids either. So Bob is telling me this and I'm thinking, 'what a sweet couple' although I did wonder about how people know so much about what goes on in our yard but okay. Now, I'm thinking about the fact that these people haven't had children and I'm telling Bob that we can NEVER turn into these people. I just won't have it! Too close to home on that one I tell ya!

Meanwhile the neighbour beside us has an open fire pit which I think is illegal but he would know since he's a cop! Of course, I could care less cause I love the smell of camp fires but I'm wondering how everyone else is getting out of this unscathed!

I'm trying to figure out if we have somehow messed up our karma cause things are definitely off the rails over here.

Yikes. Talk about a rant! I better go put a warning at the top.


Mailyn said...

Bitchy neighbors are the worst. Bitchy whiny neighbors are just begging for it. I say you go without sleep for 3 whole days then give them a piece of your mind. That outta do it.

Have I mentioned how much I like your evil side? Mehehehe.

I have stories about stupid neighbors with dogs but you feel bad enough as it is so I'll leave them for another day.

Suffice it to say I'm calling the Humane Society on their sorry ass. Some people. Sheesh.

Oh and that's the reason we have wooden fences around here. So stupid neighbors can't be looking at us.

That plus the fact that we do go outside in our underwear when we let the dogs out. Hey! It's Miami. We are allowed that sort of thing. :-P

P.S. You've won an award!! Go get it. LOL.

Jenster said...

Your neighbor sounds absolutely nuts! Remind me to call you the next time someone pisses me off so you can tell me what to say. You're priceless!

nath said...

You know, the worst is that there's so many similar stories about stupid, nutsy neighbors!! I wish you've been there and put your neighbor in his place!!

Holly said...

Oy, I hate neighbors like that. The ones that live just behind MM? Yeah, they're always all up in our business. It drives me insane!

I hope things settle down for you, though.

And I hope you have the chance to give him a piece of your mind. LOL

Gennita said...

Depending on the slope (how steep) of the roof:

To stand/kneel on the roof without ladder jacks, get foam like the cheap egg-shell kind that you put on top on your mattress (you can buy a twin bed size one and cut into half). Lay it flat on the roof. Use one to put shingles on. Use the other for yourself. When you need to move as you go up the roof, put one foot on the foam with the shingles, release weight, position other foam higher than return to first position.

;-) TMI? But it'd have been fun to see the neighbor's face if your hubby and friend had done that!

I use this method quite a bit, especially when it rains.