Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Just A Little Fun


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate


Dear Desperate

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command "http: I Thought You Loved Me.html" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 . Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support

Monday, July 30, 2007

Our Mr. Magoo

Last night at about 12:30am we got a call from Bob's youngest brother. I ran to answer the phone already knowing it wasn't going to be good news. Bob's father (we called him Magoo) had passed away in his sleep just minutes before.

Bob's father had been admitted to the hospital last Sunday night and the doctors made it clear to us he had a very bad case of pneumonia. Visitors were limited and Bob was there on Monday. He came home upset saying that his father didn't seem to know where he was. He told Bob that the guys had brought him over from work but that he needed to get back. Bob said, 'Dad, you know you retired 20 years ago, right?' and his Dad replied 'Yeah, Bob that makes it easier.' Which is such a Magoo moment.

We heard varying reports from the family (with 7 sons and the dramatic flare they were born with you tend to get many versions of any instant) from he's looking great to it's over to once again, looking great.

Saturday afternoon Bob and I went to see him at the hospital. When we got there Bob's oldest brother was there and I told Bob I would wait outside while he went in with his brother. Bob says Magoo couldn't talk but raised his hand to let him know he could see him. Bob came to get me shortly after but by the time I got there he was sleeping soundly. Not wanting to wake him up I stroked his hair and whispered encouraging words. I had never seen him sleeping before but he looked like an older version of Bob and my heart was all soft and mushy.

He wasn't wheezing or coughing or in anyway struggling for breath. I came away with a sense of peace and really, a hope that he was on the mend.

Luckily that night Mom was able to visit him for the first time. She herself had been sick and had been told to stay away. I think he was waiting for her as it was only a few hours later that he went in his sleep.

Our Magoo had 89 wonderful years here with his family and friends. He loved his wife and worked hard to raise his seven boys to be responsible men. He enjoyed a good argument and complaining was his hobby. He was a home body and the idea of travel was nothing but a pain for him to consider. We live maybe an hour away but it wasn't unusual for us to get a call on the day of a planned visit to hear that Magoo had a headache or other strange ailment. Being who I am this never upset me because I know what it's like to not want to leave your home.

None of this tells you why this man was nicknamed Magoo by his kids. Turns out if there was a way for something to go wrong, it happened to Magoo and quite frankly it was normally his own fault. The beauty of the man was that he could laugh openly at himself and enjoyed the many times his boys would tell one story or another.

Quick story that always had me in stitches was the story of one Christmas morning. Since the clan is HUGE there is a lot of Christmas paper around after gift opening. In an effort to clean up Magoo carried the piles of paper down to the lower level and stuffed them into the fireplace. Now I can only imagine what the fireplace looked like when he lit that match but it was very surprising to the family when he came upstairs with his slippers on fire. How he didn't feel it I'll never know but he always had a good laugh at himself with that one.

He was such a sweet man and I loved him for who he was and I'll be forever grateful that he raised the fine man I'm privileged to call my husband.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Rockin' Girl Blogger

I am thrice blessed!

I have been declared a Rockin' Blogger by Mailyn who thinks I'm one of the funniest people she's met in blogland ( and I'm squirming with delight that she finds me even a little bit funny!), by Holly who thinks I'm strong and upbeat (and I'm still squirming with delight!) and Ames who, uh, likes my pool.

If I may I would like to say how blessed I feel to know these women (I even met Ames!).

Mailyn has a heart that is wide open and a willingness to accept her friends as they are. You can go to Mailyn broken and she will be the first to tell you she's thinking of you and offering hugs and words of wisdom. I can't say enough good things about Mailyn but I think everyone that knows her feels the exact same way. I also think she's funny as hell.

Holly is the kind of woman I hope to one day be. Everyone of her posts show her kind nature and love for her family, children and friends. You know no matter what, Holly would be there for you. She may say 'you betta recognize' but you know you are getting the straight goods. I love that she shares so openly about her life and that she even shared the moment she got engaged for those of us unable to congratulate her in person. Oh. But she don't do stupid. Uh, uh. Stupid is sooo not welcome.

Ames is so wonderfully upbeat even after being in a car accident! She is hilarious in person and has an easy going way about her. I love to read about her dog Max and the many cats including the cat that shall remain nameless. She's also a prolific reader and has reviews up almost everyday. Again, if I could just get half her reading mojo I would be set and I hoping that she will be able to come out this way again next year so we can shop, lounge by the pool and eat great delivery ;)

Now the hard part I have to name Five Rockin' Bloggers:

The first one is a given and it's -

Kristie from Ramblings on Romance. Kristie has written posts that have made me cry and then written ones where you can't help but laugh (Arthur anyone!) Her strength is plainly evident and the changes her life has gone through in the past year would have crushed a woman without the inner strength that Kristie possesses. It's hard to explain but there is not a bad thing that could ever be said about Kristie, she's always open to new ideas and loves the romance genre just like I and many of us do! Kristie is the real deal. Hands down one of the sweetest people I have ever met (and she got me Anne Stuart's autograph!)

Renee W from Renee Reads Romance. She is not only my reading twin but we have a few other similarities as well. She's married to a Bob that has two trucks that he uses for toolboxes (I mean, really, that's just eerie!) and every time one of us shares a story it's like seeing things in a mirror! Of course I love to know which books she loves and those she hates and she even puts in the little things that she knows might be bothersome to someone like me *cough*kids*cough*. Then it's fun to see the differences - I soooo don't do camping and my Bob is a four star traveler all the way. Roughing it for us is staying somewhere without room service.

Tara Marie from Romance Reading Mom. Day to day posts, hilarious antics of Jr. and book reviews. It's fun to go there as you never know what will be the topic of the day. Bingo with elderly cleptos, Jr. begging for forgiveness in a prone position in the middle of the romance section or Avonization. And the pictures! I dare you not to smile when seeing Jr. stomping through waves at the beach.

Nath from The Life of a Dumpling. Energy rolls off this blog even when she is tired. Nath loves life and is ready to go at a moments notice (I know this from the Toronto meeting) and her blog is a really fun place to visit. Book reviews (I'm seeing a theme), weekend updates and workplace drama. I love Nath's blog because she always asks about us at the end of her posts. How was your weekend? What are you reading? Oh, and Nath doesn't have a TBR pile! She reads really, really fast and don't get in her way at the bookstore!

JMC from Occasional Book Reviews. Hey, guess what? She reviews books too! Let see recipes and food talk, political tidbits, fanfic, and day to day observations that have you nodding your head in agreement. Yep, been there suffered that. And concise! A few sentences and she gets her point across. I am in awe of those who can do that - I have no clue how to write a short post, obviously!

Let's face it though, I think all my blogger friend are rockin'!! I think I used to have maybe twelve blogs that I would visit. Now, the list on the sidebar are the ones I try to get to every day! Lately I haven't been getting to them all (summer, squeeee!) so I alternate where I start, some days from the bottom up and others from the top down. And lately the list has been growing!

Now if you wish you can pass it on!

Okay, this was mind breaking. You know I like my lazy time. Way too much work!

Friday, July 27, 2007

Christmas Early!

Now see, during the RWA reporting by Dear Author, Smart Bitches and Kristie, not one person mentioned Anne Stuart. We heard about elevator run ins with Linda Howard and Nalini Singh brushing hair and of course Nora Roberts being well, Nora Roberts!

There were envious sighs by those of us unable to attend but there was a little part of me that was okay with the events because Anne Stuart had obviously not shown.

I've been duped!

In case I didn't mention Kristie came for a visit today and I was excited to hear all about her adventures at RWA. There had also been a question about my love of vampire books - YES so I knew there might be a few titles that would find a home here.

So after hugs and drinks and settling into comfy chairs Kristie brings out the cutest little gift bag and well, I'm pretty sure I was clapping at that point. I look in the bag and I see the tops of some books. I start pulling them out slowly and squeee'd happily with each one. I'm going to post them in a second. She also brought me the first two books in Robyn Carr's series Virgin River and Shelter Mountain. Super Cool!

Then I notice that the bag is still heavy so I look inside and the sneak has put a book in the bottom of the bag. I can't tell what book it is because she has wrapped it in tissue paper. Since I'm already beyond giggly (and really, I soooo don't do giggles) I'm not sure what to expect.

I've never had so much trouble tearing paper off a gift before - I think Kristie used super glue. I was floored when I saw Anne Stuart's Ice Blue but I must have been making a squeeing sound because Kristie says 'you have to open it'.

Oh. Hell. No.

It's signed!!! And it's signed to ME!!

I hugged the book, I hugged Kristie, I hugged the book and well, you get the picture.

Kristie stood in line for me!! Kristie was feeling claustrophobic that day and still stood in line for me!!

Since Kristie is a bookie like the rest of us I can only hope she knows how much it means to me that she took time to get me a signed Anne Stuart.

Bob was pounced upon when he got home from work and shown the new beauty. He was suitably impressed (I was BBQing and there was no way he was going to ruin a good thing) and told Kristie that he would have to start work on the shrine the next day. I'm not sure if he knows this but I'm taking that to heart!

So today was a perfect day. We drank pop and ate potato chips and rehashed all the happenings in Dallas. Kristie told me about the other authors she had met and about some of the books they have written (Kristie has a great memory for plots, whereas I'm lucky if I can remember if I've ever read a book), I got scolded for not reading One Summer by Karen Robards (I explained my 'crazy' to her but I don't think she was feeling me) and we searched through my bookcases for one particular book. At one point Kristie said 'You don't have these in any kind of order, do you?'

Uh, no.

Bad Cindy.

Oh! And she showed me some cool tricks on Excel that I didn't know about to help me with sorting books. I think I may be motivated to catalogue all the books I own. Okay, I'm kinda scared of doing this as I will then know the exact number of books I own and although I'm sure I can take it, I'm not sure Bob can survive the shock.

Course, I could catalogue his tools.

Okay, I have to go and find the perfect spot to put my book. I'm wondering about a shadow box but Bob doesn't like them and I wouldn't get to pet the cover whenever I want to.



I don't stroke book covers either.



Bob has managed to activate my super sleep mojo.

I swear Bob has a scent on his skin that lulls wild animals to sleep. Turns out he can do it to me also.

Hey! I heard that!

This past week has been stressful for Bob (his 88 yr old Dad is in the hospital with pneumonia - we think he is now on the mend although there were a few nights there where Bob's stress level was at it's peak) so when he got home from work all he wanted to do is fall into bed.

Now, let it not be said that I'm not a supportive wife. I dutifully crawled back into bed with him knowing I wouldn't sleep a wink.


I woke up the one time thinking I had only slept for a few minutes to discover Bob was gone (Bob can actually sleep for 20 minutes and wake up refreshed. Yep. He's a martian.). I rolled over to discover I had been asleep for 3 hours! Now normally this wouldn't be a big deal but when I know I'm going to have company I tend to stress about the fact that my clock has probably just been sabotaged.

I'm thinking Bob is going to wish he had never lulled C-Rex into a few unexpected naps by the end of this weekend. Remember those questions I was saying yes to? I'm betting the only noises from me will be growling sounds.

You Are About To Enter Rant-Ville. You May Just Want To Leave Now. You've Been Warned.

On top of that, our very nice neighbour behind us has proven that even crazy people can be charming. We were so fooled by this guy.

We are building that shed (the siding has been backordered again (how that can be since the lady called to confirm they had stock is anyone's guess but whatever)) so we have a friend come to help put up the roofing on the back slope because it's pretty close to the fence and Bob wants a skinny guy to help.

Sure enough, our buddy is nailing up the first few rows of shingles and puts his foot back on the fence to steady himself.


This guy comes flying out of his house and yells at Bob 'I told you I was going to City Hall didn't I?'

Bob says 'Yeah.'

So he turns to our friend and says 'They aren't being cooperative with this monstrosity so that fence isn't a ladder!'

Our friend immediately apologizes and tells him it won't happen again.

Road Trip!!

You know, people are really lucky that they pull this kind of shit when I'm not around. I would have looked the guy dead in the eye and said 'Unless you have receipts proving that this fence was paid for in full by you then it's considered communal and we'll use it the way we want'. This would have quickly been followed up with 'We told you we could plant trees but you don't want
to compromise. No, it's your way or the highway. Well, let me tell you something, I am currently shopping for bright pick siding with lime green trim for your side of the shed. Hell, I might even put up some huge plastic candy canes to make it look like a candy house. That would be sooooo cute. Our side will look like a little Cape Cod shed but hey, you've managed to piss me off and I'll show you what being un-cooperative looks like.'

But then I'm a bitch.

The minute I start getting lippy Bob hushes me so maybe it's better I'm not even around when it happens. Although I'm considering knocking on this guys door when Bob's at work.

So anyways, Bob and his buddy reach the point where they can no longer stand on the scaffolding to put up the shingles. Bob goes around the shed and can hear his Buddy say 'yeah'.

Turns out the guy has been sitting in his porch watching and came out with his arms crossed and yelled over 'Well, this should be interesting'. See, numbnuts thinks they will have to use the fence to stand on.


When I was out at the Home Depot with Bob I suggested he buy some ladderjacks so that he could put the shingles up without having to grow wings. Bob was thrilled with this and promptly bought the needed gear. (Let's face it, he's not a roofer and how often will you need such a thing but hey, I'm all about safety and efficiency)

To have been a fly on the wall when the neighbour saw that!

What's a ladder jack? Well, it's a bracket that you can nail onto the roof (use three or four) and then place a solid board across them all. That way, the roofer has a solid level surface to stand on when shingling. Not sure if you can get the idea from the first picture as it would be better if it was from the side.

This next picture is just crazy! The roofers are using the level part (supported by the ladderjacks) to put their ladders on so they don't slide off the roof!

And I think my neighbour is a whack job!

So in a nutshell that's been the drama in our little world. Pathetic really but some people need to grab a friggin' clue!

And just in case you
are thinking we're sucking butt, the area where Bob has put the shed up is where both this guy and the other neighbour store their TRASH!!! And whatever other crap they have. Wait. I think I have a pic.

Hmmm, found this one but I cropped it and then lightened it so you could see the wire stuff and the garden tools. (I wanted a picture of their yard since it is so nice in the areas that aren't backing onto our property) This is all stuff we can see while in our pool. Did we say anything? No! Cause it's their yard and they can do what they want. Sheesh. Some peoples kids.

Oh, shit! Get this, Bob met them for the first time a few weeks before he started the shed. They talked about our dogs and how they were sad when they noticed we only had one now. They had lost their dog just a few weeks before we moved in. Turns out they never had kids either. So Bob is telling me this and I'm thinking, 'what a sweet couple' although I did wonder about how people know so much about what goes on in our yard but okay. Now, I'm thinking about the fact that these people haven't had children and I'm telling Bob that we can NEVER turn into these people. I just won't have it! Too close to home on that one I tell ya!

Meanwhile the neighbour beside us has an open fire pit which I think is illegal but he would know since he's a cop! Of course, I could care less cause I love the smell of camp fires but I'm wondering how everyone else is getting out of this unscathed!

I'm trying to figure out if we have somehow messed up our karma cause things are definitely off the rails over here.

Yikes. Talk about a rant! I better go put a warning at the top.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007


I'm shocked at myself.

I managed to destroy 3 hours of my life by deciding to check in with Smart Bitches.

Holy Pack of Wolves!

I have three posts and not one of them really addresses the problem so I'm thinking it's best I say nothing.

I know. I don't think I'm well.

Bob spilled gasoline in the garage tonight and the fumes in the house are crazy so maybe that has something to do with my inability to speak my mind. You know, the more I think about it the more I realize that at a certain point, reading any more than 100 comments on one post is like listening to way too many voices in your head.

I need a zen moment. Or day.

I don't have anything new to report. Still reading the same book but only in short spurts. In an effort to snap out of my funk I'm saying yes to stuff Bob suggests.

Wanna go for a swim?

Yes. (I really don't want to get wet!)

Wanna go to Home Depot?

Yes. (NO!!!!!!)

Wanna drive out to Burlington and blah, blah, blah?

Yes. (can't I just sit on the couch and not move?)

I can't say for sure if it's working. I know that my interest in things is starting to pick up when a few weeks there the only thing that ran through my mind was 'four hours to bed time...one more hour and you can go to bed'. Not so healthy.

All the same, I can still procrastinate with the best of them. They should really find a pill for that.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007


Maybe I should feel some shame for the completely blissful way I spent the day but I've decided to shed guilt.

Really, who needs it!

Let's see. I went to bed late and slept until around 1pm. I remembered to take the current book I'm reading up to bed with me so instead of getting up and starting my day I read for the next two hours. I forgot what it was like to just relax!

I got up around 3, showered and went out to pick up a few things. I knew Bob was coming home earlier than normal because he was exhausted. By 5pm I was back in bed and having a nap with Bob. Sweet!

So it's 3am right now and I'm considering getting ready for bed again. I guess this weekend took more out of me than I thought.

Get this.

Bob and I went out around 10pm to get some groceries (I wanted crusty rolls with summer sausage but apparently the 24 hr store doesn't DO fresh bread and sliced meat after a certain time of day. Sucks!) and we came home to discover a certain puppy had eaten the last few pages of the book I was reading.

Not. Cool.

He had to get that book off the arm of the chair the bugger. I told Bob that I can tell when he gets upset with us because he starts chewing up stuff. Why he reached for the book I have no clue but it's a good thing he's deaf because I've been giving him hell all night. After Bob went to bed, Cody realized I was the only person left to hand out biscuits so he started to turn the sad puppy eyes on me. Stupid puppy dog eyes do it every time.

Since I'm such a slow reader I know I'll get no where near the end of the book tonight or tomorrow so that's been saving the puppy's butt.

I have mentioned I'm reading Whispering Rock by Robyn Carr and I'm really enjoying it. I have to admit that at a certain point I had to make the mental leap that I wasn't reading a romance. I'm not sure if that is true or not but there are at the very least 8 different characters who are given their own POVs and story lines. I was all ready for the H/H (Mike and Brie - I had to check the back of the book to make sure I had the H/H correct) to meet and get to the business of falling in love. Instead I have umpteen story lines and people with their own lives taking up space in the book. I figured out it was part of a series but I thought it would be like most series books where the H/H would have center stage. Uh, no.

I think I will continue to read this one since I seem to be enjoying it and hey, I'm not ready to wrangle with the reading mojo. Kristie just reviewed the trio and it seems she liked this one least of all so maybe I'll enjoy Carr's other books even more. I can say at this point that I find the males in the book a bit odd but I think Kristie said it best when she said they were too perfect.

And what's with the men needing to throw down? I've been around men all my life and I have yet to see any of them get in a fist fight. I'm just saying. Is this something that happens among sober adult men in small towns?

So yeah, the believability is being tugged on for sure but I'm on a roll and I don't plan on stopping!

Monday, July 23, 2007


I'm guessing we're gluttons for punishment around here.

Today was another hot one and Bob and Dad worked on the shed until almost 6pm. I know they were out there around 10am so another long day and the back slope of the roof hasn't even been started.

I told Bob to ask another of his buddies to come and help this week so my dad doesn't feel the need to come next weekend. The poor guys looked all wrung out.

On top of this I had mentioned to my best friend that she should bring the kids for a swim (I thought she had to go to work at 4pm so I figured an afternoon swim). Turns out she didn't have to go to work and dinner would be nice.


Another trip to the grocery store where once again I was surprised at the number of people out and about (more like in my way). I'm not really sure where all my energy went but by 3pm I was tuckered. I went out and told Bob that 'daylight' was over and I was going for a nap.

Pukey is how I felt when I got up at 5pm but I knew I had company coming and that food would probably make everything all right.

My dad begged off going for a swim because our company had shown up. He said a shower would do him just as well.

Those of you who have kids know what it's like when a friend is leaving - 'Johnny, Steve is leaving, come and say good-bye'. I actually had to pull that with Bob tonight because he was already in the pool and needed to be reminded that his helper for the day was leaving. He didn't even lift his head from the back float he was doing. Goober.

I walked my dad out and since I feel a need to explain my nocturnal ways I just shrugged and said something about being tired. He said, 'well of course, with people coming and going all weekend'. Definitely relieved the guilt of having a nap.

A bit of a swim was shortly followed by the BBQ being lit and they left shortly there after.

Bob hit the couch and fell asleep while I surfed for a bit. I'm officially in veg mode but I'm hoping tomorrow I can sit and read Whispering Rock by Robyn Carr.

Now, if only my brain would stop pointing out things that need to be done.

Watching a show on hoarders is probably not helping me to relax - it's making me want to toss everything in the house and start over!


Saturday, July 21, 2007

Hung Over?

I figure a good number of you are off reading Harry Potter, or you are done and have the 'no sleep' hang over.

Today was very, very busy. I don't know how people deal with each other on a regular basis. I'm up during the day right now but I don't really have a routine so I'm out of sorts.

Bob was putting the roof shingles on the shed with my Dad, brother and my cousin's boyfriend. I'm thinking only two guys were needed but I think they like to switch in and out while Bob hangs off the ladder. I must have went in and out of the house a hundred times getting drinks for them.

Some how everyone was invited for dinner or at least there was an understanding.

I had 8 burgers in the house.

I tell ya, Bob has no clue what it takes to get ready for people to come over. Last weekend he asked my Dad if he wanted to stay for dinner and I was all 'what are you planning to cook?' cause we had nothing in the house.

So off I went to the supermarket and Holy Lord there were people hanging off the rafters! How do you all shop in those stores without maiming people? People just stand around blocking each other and moving to the beat of their own drummer. Since I do most of my shopping either during the week or later at night I don't run into this kind bedlam. And yes, I felt like it was bedlam. Any time I'm tempted to drive my cart over a person I know I'm in over my head.

It took me much longer than I had anticipated to buy more burgers, hot dogs, buns and ice cream cones for dessert. And a garden salad which I'm thinking was made from grass clippings and cost me 10 bucks! I normally buy romaine lettuce and then chop a bunch of veggies in but I figured I would buy a pre-made salad. Won't be making that mistake again.

I get back and my cousin is here so her and I get in the pool. Ahhhhhh.

The guys wrapped up around 5:30pm after many beer runs for me (back and forth in the house) and I started the BBQ. The BBQ caught fire at one point (grease from the burgers are now building up on some metal sheet just below the grill) and the smoke in my eyes was brutal. Luckily I was able to get the burgers out of the way but it was with some great hand work as I was dodging flames shooting up a foot high.

The fun part for me was seeing my brother get in a pool for the first time in close to 15 years. I guess it's just not something he does. The pool was at 84 degrees. I know. We keep it maybe a touch too hot but I love it.

We had dinner and then we got in the pool for a bit again although it was after 8pm.

We came in and four of us played Upwords while the others read or talked. I pulled out the pina colada slush. Yum. Bob said he could smell the alcohol. Yeah, whatever. I only had about 1/2 a cup but that was all I needed to mix up words in sentences.

Weird, but lately I can't read small print and the other night I tried to thread a needle and I swear my eyes were crossing. I haven't had that before and I'm starting to feel old!

Everyone is gone now and Bob crawled into bed but I have to wind down first.

Cody had a great time because everyone fed him biscuits and he is now snoring away beside me.

OMG! We had accidentally let Amber out (indoor cat) and I forgot so I'm sitting and talking and all of a sudden I see my orange cat coming around the back of the house. Where she was for that hour I have no clue but am I ever glad she decided to come back. She gave me hell when I picked her up but I thought it was because she had been traumatized.

Nope. Tripped me several times trying to get back outside. She apparently got out again but Bob found her. Next time she's getting locked in a room!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Now What?

My cousin has come and gone and I'm on day time hours. Yesterday was brutal. I started yawning around 6pm and it was a struggle to stay up. Still, we watched Premonition and I like watching the special features on certain movies so it was closing in on 2am (possibly 2:30am) by the time I got to bed.

The alarm at 11am hurt.

It was good though. Bob was in the area so we went to lunch with him and then we did some mini-shopping and LOTS of swimming. Then we went and bought 3 steaks and did a BBQ. Nice.

My knee is killing me but that might be because I swam 16 laps of the pool and then did 4 laps with just my legs. I want to get the cardio going but I know I have to let my knee rest so the water (on the knee) doesn't build up. I have to start taking Ibuprofen (makes me feel pukey) but I was going to wait and see what side effects were hitting me with the increased dose of my normal meds. I'm just not sure I can take the pain at night. Throbs even when I'm trying to sleep. Ugh.

On top of that I haven't been getting my blog rounds done so look out, I'm coming!

Tomorrow there will be no alarm. Sweet. I'm thinking Evanovich is next up and I have a few days before the weekend when people will show up looking to escape the heat.

Well, That's Better.

Leave it to me to rant about Crapazon only to have the package land on my doorstep today.

Still, their logistics department could use an overhaul. Or maybe they should try ordering a few books from their Canadian competition and see how they are kicking Amazon's ass.

So I got Lean Mean 13 by Evanovich.

Settle down, you knew I was going to buy it.

The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes - Anne Stuart - squeeeeeeeee!

I think I know which two books I will be reading this month.

And Wanda Sykes Sick and Tired. There's even a little sticker that says 'As Seen On HBO'. Sure. Rub it in why don't you, stupid Canadian television.

I think Sex and The City was on in the States for three years before it was brought to Canada. Deadwood will probably never be shown although after many years they did bring the Sopranos up here (not that I watched).

Obviously I'm bored with TV right now and nothing new and exciting is coming out of the video place. My cousin should be here in a few hours and if it rains (we waited and waited as she's been off for two weeks, for the weather to look clear for more than a day - now it shows thundershowers for the next three days - here's hoping they are wrong again) maybe we can go to the movies and see Die Harder or Transformers. Yeah.

Update: Saw Live Free or Die Hard and loved it! The only thing is that in this installment some of the action scenes just weren't as plausible as the first movie. The thing about Die Hard was that it just seemed like ordinary stuff that could really happen - fantastically maybe but, could happen. This one had some stuff that even the luckiest person on the planet couldn't handle.

Still. It was John McClane and you gotta love him - also his sidekick was hilarious and Timothy Olyphant is not bad on the eyes either! Soooooo buying this when it comes out!

Okay, I have to get to bed so I can be all eagle eyed tomorrow.


Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Are You F*cking Kidding Me!?

Wait, I have to go and check if I have already spouted off about Amazon or should I say Crapazon. I know. I'm brilliant. Took me 10 seconds longer than most people to get that jazzy term out of my brain.

As far as I can tell I am all clear to drop this waste of customer service on all of you.

Up here in Canada we have a bookstore called Chapters which I have complained about ad nauseam but OMG, I could so french kiss them right now. I'm just saying. You have no idea how good you got it until you try a competitor.

Amazon, the Canadian branch, came along a few years ago but I had never really found a reason to buy from them. Basically they don't realize what is standard for the Canadian market. They might be better now but their DVD prices were so out of whack when they first opened it was crazy. After that I started to compare Amazon prices to Chapters and found that because I had a membership I saved even more money at Chapters than I could at Amazon. Since I prefer to keep money in my pockets I chose the one that was cheaper.

Well, I stretched out.

Way out apparently.

On June 30th I placed an order at Amazon for two books they had in stock and a DVD that they claimed was in stock but turned out wasn't when I went to check out. I admit that I took a second to think about my options at that point. I had just come back from the World's Biggest Bookstore and had gone hog wild so there weren't too many books I wanted at that time. I thought about it for a minute and thought 'meh, Chapters always ships things as they show up and they do it for free so obviously Amazon will be the same'.


I get an e-mail maybe three days later to inform me they had received my order. (Had I mailed that puppy in? What the hell took so long?) In this e-mail I am given a date of July 11th to 13th as the potential shipping day. I'm thinking there is no way they are going to make me wait weeks for the books they have in stock and since Chapters does the same I wasn't worried.

Days go by and I'm getting mad.

July 12th I write an e-mail telling them how shoddy I find their customer service (in a nutshell) and that I'm shocked that they haven't shipped me the books that were in stock. For Heaven's sake I could have bought the books twelve times over at local stores at this point. I didn't say that part although I was tempted. I did explain Chapter's policy on shipping and that they clearly were not competitive.

I get an e-mail back explaining how the ship date is determined and that they are sorry I'm not having a good experience and that they will now ship my books to me free using express shipping.

The new shipping date?

July 18th.

That my friends is a customer service department with a 'fuck you' attitude.

What's horrible is that I would soooo do this to someone too. Oh, our service isn't good enough for you? Well, let's see how you feel about this!

Karma sucks.

Edited: I got an e-mail today saying my order has shipped. Wonder if it's on the North American continent?

Monday, July 16, 2007

The Wagering Widow by Diane Gaston

This book grabbed me from the very opening scene. What came after was in a word, frustrating.

I should give the characters some slack because they were strangers when they met but, OMG you have this thing called a voicebox and when you move your mouth you can actually tell someone what you are thinking.

I'm just saying.

Cindy Blurb: Emily is a young woman raised by a mother who could care less and a father more interested in the next big gamble. Unknown to her, her father put out a rumour that Emily had inherited a large sum of money from a distant aunt in an effort to keep his creditors at bay.

Guy Keating is in dire straights financially and needs an heiress and Emily seems to be just the ticket. A rushed marriage at Gretna Green has Guy filled with guilt but he believes he will do better by her than her family (even though he doesn't know the darkest secrets yet). When he discovers Emily has no money he is furious at himself and is forced to hit the gaming tables to win a fortune to save his entire family.

While doing this Guy ignores his wife, won't bed her because he doesn't need another mouth to feed and is a huge ass in general.

Emily, not to be out done in assiness, decides she will go to the game tables in a disguise as Lady Widow to win enough money to leave the husband who obviously wishes she had never been born.

Oy vey.

What kept me reading was the moment when everything would be revealed and the H/H would work together to find a solution.

Last. Page.

You know how when you are mad at your significant other and they ask you what's wrong and you say 'I'm fine' when you both know you're not? This is what Emily does for most of the story only doofus doesn't realize she's not 'fine'. But then, why should he? These two people didn't know each other before they got married and after they got married they basically go on living separate lives.

What's frustrating is that Guy did recognize his wife in Lady Widow (how? I have no clue although yes, it's explained and I get it but he rarely thought of Emily so why then except for guilt and the man definitely deserved it) but he wants to know why his wife is playing this charade. Except he thinks she's 'into the cards' and the H/H both write each other off as consummate gamblers.

In a nut shell, I didn't feel the love.

I really hope it's not me but I haven't been finding the love lately. Where's the love people!?

Another problem was that I was obviously in the middle of a series. People showed up that I should have known, there was a history that may have helped to explain Emily's actions but I haven't read the previous book and if this is how the heroes and heroines behave around each other I really can't be bothered.

I picked out the next book to read but I managed to misplace it in under 35 seconds. Have no clue where it is. I hate when I do that.

Anyways, I have to clean my house because it's scary which means not so much on the reading.

And I'm sleepy.

Edited to Add: I found the book and I'm about 15 pages in and I'm thinking it's too in depth for me. It sounded like a light hearted book but the prologue itself was a pain to get through. I'm starting to feel like a real scrooge. 'This book has too much suspense, this one has characters that don't speak to each other, this one has too much political stuff - I wonder if the next one will be juuuuuust right. Please, please, please, please!!

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Your Mouth Drives Me Crazy by HelenKay Dimon

I finished!!

Not only has this book brought me out of my slump, I have already started my next book and I'm already 3/4 of the way through.

That's HUGE! I'm a slow reader but I'm starting to feel like I'm channeling Tara Marie's reading speed.

Let's see if I can do a semi-review.

Cindy Blurb: The hero, Kane Travers, is a local police chief in Kauai but is on forced vacation while being investigated by internal affairs. On his second day of extreme boredom he finds a woman washed up on shore. Naked and starting to turn blue, Travers takes her home and puts her in the shower to get her warm.

The woman, Annie Parks, has secrets and for some reason doesn't trust anyone so when she is forced to open her eyes and look at her saviour (captor?), she decides amnesia is her best play. To say Kane ain't playing is an understatement and the fireworks begin.

Kane has to figure out who this woman is, why she is hiding and just how involved she is in a potential murder. All this while trying to keep his past from swallowing him whole.

If you have been keeping up you will remember a blog on motivation. I was thrown in the first chapter by Kane's actions. I'm still not buying into what was going on in his brain but I'm wondering if I was over sensitive to the heroine being restrained.

Basically, Kane knows this woman is lying to him so he decides he can't trust her or let her out of his sight. So he handcuffs her to his bed while he goes to get into dry clothes. At this point I'm wondering what the hell just happened. The guy is a cop and I'm pretty sure he knows about unlawful detention. Not only that but Annie doesn't go ape shit. Sure, she's mildly upset about being restrained but I'm sorry, as a woman, if some guy I didn't know whipped out a pair of handcuffs and came at me the two of us would be battered and bruised by the time he got the cuffs on. Kane did tell her he was a cop and he flashed a badge but not long enough for her to look at it.

Like I said, I may be watching way too many 48 Hour Mystery shows or real life crime shows but I also stumbled on why Kane would do this. When I was telling Bob about why I stopped reading his response was 'maybe he didn't want her to leave'. Uh, well, yeah but she didn't know that was his motivation.

Anyways, I decided I needed to get over myself and I'm glad I did. Sure there were more areas where I didn't really get how these two people were good for each other but the dialogue was snappy enough to keep me reading.

I will buy the next book by Dimon (March 2008!?) even though I'm not sure I bought into these two people being in love but hey, the blurb from her next book looks like it will be funny and I'm all about the funny.

I'm going with a C+

This story was more about the suspense than about the romance, at least for me.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Cody Bear

Thanks to Ames for letting me know that I could download videos with Youtube. Turns out I needed to download the Kodak software to get the videos to download onto my computer but at least I learned something new.

The first is Cody snoring. Cody has startled many guests who have been suddenly assaulted by this noise. You'll need your sound.

This video is Cody being awakened by his own snoring. I was watching the video I had just taken when he woke up on a particularly loud inhale. Cutie pie.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

And Now ...

Not a ton of progress on the shed but I haven't really let Bob work on it. He comes home and I want to get out of the house. I should really buy some steaks for tonight and do a BBQ.

Oh get up off the floor, acting all shocked and stuff. Sheesh!

It didn't pour rain today (the weather network is FIRED!) which was a surprise so Bob and stumbled around trying to figure out what to do with ourselves since it was nice out. Didn't want to go to the movies, Bob didn't want to drive too far, I didn't want to go to Home Depot and voila, Bob and I are over it. I was all, just drive me home, you're making me crazy and Bob's all, I shouldn't have said blah, blah. No *I* shouldn't have said anything and Bob's your uncle.

Since I tend to be the louder of us Bob went to Depot but I waited in the car and the poor Depot employees got it with both barrels. Not really, Bob doesn't take crap out on other people but he was pissed when he came back because some loon had riffled through a ton of wood and placed it in the plywood bin which is where he needed to be so we're both crabby.

Costco fries and hot dog evened out our tempers. (Food tends to do that but it's also the thing that will send me over the edge - I wanted Ikea fries and gravy but that's a 20 minute drive and it basically started from there)

So we're all good and I have to tell you that Bob has the best laugh. I hadn't heard him really laugh in a while but tonight I was bugging him before he went to bed and he got started which immediately makes me laugh. So I wouldn't stop and Bob's trying to fight me off but not really hard and we're laughing and he finally bursts out, 'I'm starting a blog!' Guess he thinks you all don't know how much of a freak I am. So naturally I kept bugging and laughing. It was when he threatened to bug me when I was trying to sleep that I stopped. Yep. No messin' with the sleep cycle.

I just love his laugh.

As to books, I'm feeling the bug!

I'm currently reading HelenKay Dimon's Your Mouth Drives Me Crazy and I'm really enjoying it. This was the book with the opening that threw me for a loop but I powered through until everything smoothed out. Now I'm really enjoying the H/H but I'll get into more of that when I go to give my 'opinion'.

Since I'm enjoying this book I thought I would stroll on over to her website and get a list of her previous titles. Oh, look it my luck, this is her FIRST single title. I should have known. Find an author you like and the backlist isn't as full as I would prefer.


But (and here's the good part), while Bob was in Depot I had Diane Gaston's book The Wagering Widow with me so I opened it and started. Well, colour me intrigued.

Yep. My reading mojo is coming back slowly but surely.

Took it's hairy sweet time but I shouldn't be bitter.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Grumpy Cindy

Basically today did not go as I thought it would and being the overly emotional bitch I am right now, that didn't fly.

Poor Bob.

It's okay though, I've had a half a bottle of Pepto and I'm feeling about 25% better.

Yes, I'm wondering if a pina colada would bring me around to 100% but I'm thinking I have enough crap on my plate.

Let's see, where to start?

Docs office.

Let's sum it up by saying don't joke around with a person whose meds aren't working.

I'm telling ya, that's a sure way to get them to burst into tears. I managed to keep my game face on but at the same time I was wondering who it was I was talking with. (Who is this bitch?) I know it's the 'whatever' talking because I love my Dr. and I've called her George but today I was ready to throw some punches.

We have a 23 day plan because that's how many pills I have left and then we get to re-access.


Can't up the sleeping pills cause I'm a bad monkey. (I knew this but hey, bad monkey was dancing to the music and thought what the hell)

So I came home with Suisan's saying in my head 'Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke' and I decided I'm going off the sleeping tabs cold turkey.

Yeah. That'll show 'em.

Special prayers for Bob are now being accepted.

You know, sitting here thinking my doc is pretty amazing because she got it all out there. The reno house being a pain, Bob not around (and maybe I need to be less dependent on him - yes I know but 'fuckoff'), my former best friend's wedding coming up. Yada, yada, yada, I could use counselling, yes I can but I should go through my work program, but I don't want them dragging anything out of my brain I don't want to see, they aren't psychotherapists so you'll be fine, do I need a psychotherapist, if I did I couldn't get one anyways ....


Uh, yeah. If you know someone couldn't get the treatment they are asking you if they might need - LIE!

Oh, Cindy, you so don't need blah-blah. How hard is some friggin' reassurance?

I'm fragile right now dammit!

And she asked me if I was lying the last time I saw her.


She said it was a joke but I didn't find it funny CAUSE I'M FRAGILE.

Seriously, I'm laughing at myself. Fragile, too funny.

I get home and Bob calls all excited. 'Did you get my e-mail?' Uh, no, not yet but I'll log on. The computer was crapping out so I asked Bob what it is (hoping the reno house was sold). 'It's your list!!' My what now? 'Your list of traits!'.

Without further ado I give you my hubby's response to Zeek's meme. (I couldn't stop laughing once the e-mail opened which was a good thing because I was a touch weepy after the docs. Leave it to me to not explain stuff properly)

A. Each player gets a loved one to list 8 facts/habits about the player from the loved ones point of view.

B. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed.

C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

Ahem. Bob's list of my traits.

Here you go babe:



Creature of habit


Good sense of humour




Great laugh

Family oriented


Animal Lover

These are just a few of your character traits that I love about you.


Leave it to my man to be straight forward and concise. He did mention that he was going to put Creature of Rut but he admitted that I do like to change things up every few months. You know, I'm over McD's and would prefer IKEA french fries and gravy for the next three months every night for dinner.

This took him three days and he was bloody excited when he finished. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I may have explained the meme wrong.

Although I'm tickled he likes my laugh because I've been known to scare people with it. It's quite loud.

With that in mind I won't tag anyone because I'm pretty sure Bob and I just broke the meme and I'm not really sure how we managed it.

Edited: I knew the meme was different from what the rules listed! I went back and re-read Zeek's intro and it's supposed to be Eight Weird Things about you - Okay, nocturnal is weird but I'm wondering if Bob would be open to doing another list. Christmas a good deadline for you guys?

Good Gnus and Meh Gnus

I go to the doctor's today which is good news. Got a laundry list of crap but I started backing off my anxiety pill because I figure we'll change it - I'm thinking it is the right decision because the dose I'm on now used to be fine but now I'm jittery.

I'll probably mention the sleeping pills not really working.

I had a bad knee there about 3 years ago where it was determined I had water on the knee. Much more painful than it sounds. About 4 months ago the pain in my knee started and it has been getting progressively worse. Now I can't kneel on it but I can't remember what I did the last time this happened. So I'll double check with the doc.

Other good news?

I'm reading!! Not only that, I picked up the book I had such a problem with and told myself it was time to power through. Three pages later and I'm loving it! Bob even noticed I was reading and was happy to see it.

Bob is supposedly working on a meme that Zeek tagged me with although he's suspicious of the motives.


And Bob is back to work so I can just sleep whenever and not feel guilty - Yay!!

Meh news?

The neighbour in behind us has informed Bob that he is going to call the city and see if they will make us take the shed down.

Yeah. What a pip.

Bob told him before we started building what was going to happen and it was all 'it's your property and we keep all our crap over there' (for real, they store all this crap in behind *their* shrubs but where we can see if from our side - did we say anything? NO!) to 'holy crap, you have no idea what that looks like from our side'.

We told them we could put up trees to hide the shed or they could buy windows and a door for their side (they wouldn't be operational but it would decorate their view) etc.

No. He wants us to take it down.

Uh, no.

Okay, really I want to say 'Fuckoff' in a drunken slur like way but apparently I have to be nice.

I'm thinking lollipop pink siding with lime green accents for their side of the shed.

What's funny is Bob says I have to be nice but Bob's all 'you know, we don't even have to put siding on his side, yeah, let him look at a huge wall of waferboard'.

I know, we're just sounding off. Bob and I try so hard to keep to ourselves and not inflict our crap onto others so having someone come and tell us they want to 'burn our playhouse down' can be really surprising.

I checked the by-laws etc, and they can't do anything which we feel bad about but at the same time we were open about solutions. Nope. It's their way or no way.

I'm hoping once they see the siding we picked and the decorative features they'll be all sheepish and tell us everything is okay.

Meh. We'll see.

And my tummy is in full 'tank' mode. I'm thinking it's the oppressive heat we are having right now - my body doesn't adjust to extreme temperature changes very well. Stupid tummy.

As to the title of this post gnus is supposed to be pronounced 'news' whereas every time I see the word I think 'gah-news' and for some reason saying 'good gah-news' makes me smile.

OH!! And Bob and I are going to go and see Live Free or Die Harder either tomorrow or Wednesday night. With the heat feeling like 40 degrees and all humid like, it's nice to just sit in an A/C theater and eat popcorn.


Sunday, July 08, 2007

Really Quick!

One of my best buds dropped in today unannounced at 2pm. Bob was forced to beard the lion in her den and yeah, I crawled my groggy butt out of bed.

Luckily everyone is still alive.

My friend has been having a very hard time of it lately so I'm glad she came with her young guy to get out of her head for a while. Her little guy is a ham and will grow up to be a contractor or builder, carpenter or roofer. This boy can't get enough of building materials and today he was in his glory because there were 'MEN' building a shed and he got to stand along side.

On that note, I think Bob may have killed my dad. In fact, that 'still alive' comment may come back to bite me!

Bob worked my poor father until 6pm and it was a scorcher today. My brother has come for a visit and I haven't seen him in ages so he's coming to help Bob tomorrow with the shed. What a great kid. (He's 32 but he's still a kid and my baby brother in my eyes)

So I will have to get my behind out of bed again around 2pm which is not normally as successful as when it happens just because. I took 2 sleeping pills tonight hoping they'll finally knock me out but I'm thinking I'm feeling a little jazzed.

I don't know what 'jazzed' is but I know it when it decides to sit with me.

Ah well, I just breezed in to give you the update picture - the roofing trusses sound like they took some serious time to figure out and they stick built them so no pre-made easy things for these guys. Nope. Heavy tools, heavy lifting and heavy sweating!

My dad thinks it's pretty funny we're putting all this work into a shed that you just might not see when it's done. As it is, we may not see the roof from the deck at this point.


It's scheduled to get to 32 degrees Celsius *before* the humidex. Hmm, just did the calculation to F and it looks like I'm a wuss once again. 90F. Screw it, it's going to be friggin' hot and I'm going to end up doing all I can not to move tomorrow.

Bob has been put on A/C duty. The minute he gets up he is to turn on the Air. No questions just DO IT!!

Heat stroke is sooo not on my agenda. (got sun stroke when I was 19 and have never been able to handle the heat and forget about the sun ever since!)

I may not even leave the house for a swim.

Nah. I do love to swim.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Pool Fun!!

I just came in from a 4 am swim (finished vacuuming the downstairs and was all hot and sweaty). I woke Bob up and asked if he wanted to get in the pool - I only do that when he is on vacation. His response 'uhmph?'

I told him I was going to take a quick swim which got him rolling out of bed pretty fast. Not to swim but to come out and keep an eye on me. At our old house we had a pool that was 5' deep everywhere so I could go swimming whenever I wanted without worrying Bob. Now we have a pool with a deep end and Bob made me promise I wouldn't swim at night unless he came out.


But I know he does it out of love. And then I won't wake him and forgo swimming out of love.

Yeah, what a wheel we're on.

So I showed Bob how fantastic 4am is. I only swam a bit and then quickly got out so Bob could crawl back into bed - poor guy.

He asked if I thought anyone would mind if he started hammering now.

Yep, we both kid each other about the pros and cons of the day and night.

I'll show you what Bob's been doing on his vacation. (I sent an e-mail out to the family and friends and they laugh - only Bob would build something on his vacation but then again, I didn't have enough warning to get my sleep around so he has his days free)

Okay, so here's the first picture.

Notice anything?

It's to the left.

Here's a closer shot.

How about now?

It's a shed in the trees!

Well, it's more like the floor of the shed in the trees.

I was all upset when Bob said he wanted to build a shed (he has a 2 car garage and an empty basement - two things we didn't have at the other house). I kept thinking it would ruin the back yard and then we wouldn't have as much grass and well, I love the land.

It wasn't until Bob went and marked it off from the back fence that he realized the shed would barely make it to the edge of the tree line. I was all, 'Get OUT!'

So he gets to build a shed but I got to pick out all the siding and brick work and I'm thinking it's going to look fantabulous! I should mention that Bob has got it in his head to use old exterior doors with glass in them - from our first reno. I haven't put the kibosh on it yet cause maybe it'll work. Hey, have to let him have some hope the he helped with the look of the shed.

Our friends have asked why we didn't just buy a shed.

Uh, cause they are crazy expensive (the nicest one we saw was 4 grand and it wasn't something I would call easy on the eyes) and I wanted something that looked natural. So for a little less I get a custom shed and I'm all about custom!

We'll have to wait and see. Bob actually accepted that the siding was going to take a whole week to arrive. I thought maybe he was ill also but apparently this is the 'New Bob'.

I hope New Bob sticks around when I start renovating the interior of our house! Nothing like being told you have two options cause that's all that's in stock.

Nope. So not gonna fly!

Thursday, July 05, 2007

My Wonderful Web of Friends

Yesterday I talked about how I'm pretty sure I'm in a depression (never really know for sure cause it's a sneaky bastard, coming up all casual and warm like so you don't get shocked by it). After blogging about it I started to get a pain in my chest. Easy. I know what it is. I guess my chest wall swells (okay, I remember what it's really called but it's danced to the back of the brain) (inflamed!! that's the word!) when I'm under stress and well, there be some stressors in the life right now.

The good news was that Bob was awake when I went to go to bed and I was able to talk to him about how things have been. I guess I'm always worried that Bob will think he has done something wrong when that just isn't the case. He has told me he doesn't understand panic attacks (and well, how can you unless you have had them) but that he accepts that they are very much real and are part of my life. He also seems to have realized that I will also deal with bouts of depression for the most part and that it has nothing to do with him. I can't tell you how freeing and loving that can be for someone like me.

We grow up with parents that ask for explanations. What wrong with you? Why are you moping? Why are you crying, it's just a restaurant! So having Bob in my life is a blessing I never take lightly. Until I met him I never talked about the panic attacks or the fears or depressing thoughts. I'm not sure what it was about Bob but on our first date I told him point blank that I wasn't 'normal' for lack of a better word. It just never seemed to faze him until he realized that meds might become involved and even then, in the end, he trusted me enough to make the decision and we have been grateful ever since!

So my chest pain eased and I fell asleep.

When I woke up I told Bob I had blogged about my feelings and that I better check my e-mail. Seeing the love and understanding from you all is always humbling (in a good way - I guess I think I'll get a 'get over yourself!' kind of response but you are all so gentle and kind).

I turned to Bob and told him that I had the greatest friends on the internet and he said 'yeah, I've met a few of them'.

Thanks for listening to me and for understanding. I count you all as blessings.

Tomorrow I'll be back with your regularly scheduled meanderings.

Things like did you see the Zebrula?

Inane song by The Smother's Brothers (performed by someone else cause I can't find the original.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

This One Rated TMI

This one is not about books or anything book related or even all that funny so be warned I'm about to download a bunch of crap onto the blog.

Leave now, I'm really just going to whine. Bad Cindy.

I'm not sure where to start or even if there is a starting point anymore. I think (cause it's completely unclear) that I'm in a serious funk. I have moments of happiness and I definitely feel gratitude for the life I have but there is something eating away in a dark corner of my mind and I'm too afraid to look.

I'm seriously unmotivated to do anything. Just thinking about peeling potatoes for dinner is too much for me and I think I'm starting to look forward to sleeping more than being awake. My brain has stalled - I have a vivid imagination and before falling asleep I usually dream up another world I go to but lately nothing is coming to me (they call that daydreaming, right?). This causes problems because other than going to another world to fall asleep, I have no clue what to do. I end up over thinking things and having discussions that never happen - it's just weird.

Yet, I don't think I'm blue. I'm not weepy or overly upset about anything - okay, maybe I don't want to look that far back into that dark corner of my mind. I've been thinking of going to counselling but I'm afraid it'll force me to take some serious actions that would be far out of my comfort zone.

It's funny how I get mad at those 'high-brow literature' books where the protagonist does nothing to assuage the life they are leading. That they live in this area of unhappiness because they make what I think are stupid choices but then I realize they are making the easy, less painful choice. By not acting towards happiness they hurt no one except themselves and it's like literature has made this acceptable.

Finally I get the concept of art imitating life. There are multitudes of people who make the easy choices, who never hurt anyone or do anything beyond reproach and I guess these are the same people who write the books and what scares me is that I am that protagonist who does nothing, I am that person that I detest or that I think is too stupid to deserve happiness.

I have a Dr. appointment next week - I thought it was this week and I think I got into the mindset that I was going to talk about what's going on with me. Now I have to wait another week and I'm just wondering if I'm wasting time. That every moment I leave whatever it is alone, it'll just grow and get worse.

And yet, I look at my life and I am probably more blessed than most. I just don't have a right to this feeling and I'm praying the Doc has another pill to make it all go away and is that the worst thing to think or what?

Then my friend telling me that I was destined to do nothing and that in five years I would be in the exact same spot has been eating away at me and scaring the piss out of me.

With this load of crap, maybe I'm destined to write some depressing book that'll win a Pulitzer but essentially leave me right where I am.


Monday, July 02, 2007

Here's My Weird Thought of The Day

You may have noticed that I was to read at least two books before blogging but uh, yeah, I need to vent!

Or maybe I just need to figure something out.

I started a book and I'm not going to name it at the moment because it's not really the book. At least, I don't think it is.

Basically the story opens and I'm liking the gist, there's a weird moment that I'm thinking 'alright, that was weird but whatever' and then WHAM, I'm hit with something that just doesn't feel plausible.

Now maybe I watch too many A&E real life murder shows and 48 Hours Mysteries but, the scene just played out wrong. And maybe that's another thing, I don't get the motivation behind the action. It's extreme and well, weird.

So this got me to thinking that maybe this is why I have turned to paranormal romance for the most part. Am I sick of them? Getting there. Unless they are really well done they get on my nerves and right now Nalini Singh is the only author I'm running to buy. Oh and Kresley Cole!

You may have noticed a bit of a scuffle on the AAR boards about the HEA but really, I don't think this is the problem. It's every thing that comes before the HEA that's causing problems. At least for me.

Now, I may be over thinking this but it seems to me that with the move towards steamier reads the need to have plausibility in the story was thrown out the window. Screw logic, I need this and this and this to happen and well, paranormals have their cake and are eating it so why not my contemporary or historical.

In the story I'm trying to read I'm wondering what my reaction would have been if Anne Stuart had written it. Thinking about it I realize that AS wouldn't have made this mistake because she gives you the MOTIVATION behind the action. The reader knows why something is happening and in the current story I'm reading I have no clue, none whatsoever, why the hero and heroine are acting the way they are. Okay, I have more knowledge of why the heroine is but the hero just came out of left field and if I was the heroine I would be looking for the closest phone to call 911.

I'm just saying.

So has this always been part of the romance landscape and I just never noticed or is this a new thing? I promise that if I finish this book I will write a full report and let you know exactly what it was that threw me and if it is resolved. I do know that others have loved this book so I'm going to keep on keeping on unless something else clobbers me over the head.

In a nutshell, I seem to want my paranormals to have incredible world building with lots of sensual heat and a love that feels honest and not just mated. I also seem to allow for aggressive behaviour but that behaviour has a motivation and if it doesn't, I'm out.

In an every day romance I want two people to meet and fall in love and yes, I want there to be obstacles and hardships and banter and sex and love.

Looks like I'm going to have to go through my reading for the last few years and see if I have a 'tell'. Maybe I have been so far out of the loop that what I'm reading now is standard fare for romance and if so, yikes cause I'm more creeped out than waiting for these two characters to realize they have hot and heavy feelings for each other.

Right now, the only thing going through my head is 'Run Forest! Run!'

Sunday, July 01, 2007

No, Not That!!!

For Jenster, who made my whole family laugh! (Jenster thought a Magic Bullet was something she wouldn't think of whipping out in front of her family - now I want to see a picture of that!!)

Official site.

And because it's from my beloved Aunt I always try to show her that we use the gifts she gives us. Even when clean up is a pain.

And just so you know, the term 'goosed' is not quite what you think it means. Learned that tonight playing Upwords with the family.

In the Scrabble dictionary is means 'to poke, pinch between the buttocks.' Yep. So not what I was expecting!

Yetch. Don't look it up on the Urban dictionary!!

I know, promised no blogging but I have the book out and I'm going to read tomorrow.

I figured I'd tell you I bought more books last night because the buy 3 get one free is still on at Chapters.

I just can't remember what I bought and I needed to put all my books away. Ooops.

Oh!! And I ordered online also.

No, not made of money but I was in the shopping mood.

Let's see, Lean Mean 13 cause it was 17 bucks and I'll probably get a chuckle, An Unfortunate something or other - has Anne Stuart story - IN! And then I bought a DVD of stand up comedian Wanda Sykes cause I think she's hilarious and I wanted to see her act - Ames and I were talking about her and I found a DVD on Amazon. Done!!

Now, you know what blows?

Amazon.ca does not ship out the things they have in stock for free and then ship the remainder later for free. What's up with that? Chapters rocks the shipping cause you can order a bunch of books with different ship dates and as long as you purchased the 35 dollars worth to get free shipping they will ship you each piece as they get it. I've had Chapters do an order in three separate shipments and they've never charged me a dime.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking Amazon won't ship my books because I didn't notice it was 1 to 3 weeks to get the DVD in stock. So they have a possible date of middle of July. Stupid.

And finally, I am a Pina Colada whore.

You know how I'm not a drinker? Well, we buy these buckets with the flavoring and some sugar pouch and then we add rum (it says to add 750ml but I only added at 500 ml). Then you freeze it so you get a slushy.

Oh. My. God.

I know myself however, and I'm not one to overindulge so I just scoop out about 1/2 a cup and eat the slushy part with a spoon.


My family thinks it's funny because they are all booze hounds but I never drank until last summer when I was introduced to these wickedly awesome Popsicle like substance.

My family came here at 3pm and Bob had two glasses of wine in about 30 minutes and crawled into bed for about an hour and a half. Too funny.

Then we come in after dinner and the rest of us play Upwords and Bob fall asleep on his chair.

I love my Bobby and now my family gets a kick out of him too.

Okay, rambling now so thanks for all the happy wishes and have a safe holiday everyone!!