Let's see if I can do a quickie post because I've got nothing.
Our weekend was so-so in a 'not terribly busy' and 'not super fantabulistic' way.
Is to a word.
You know I'm not doing great when I can't remember what the hell we did on Saturday.
I know I slept in (that's a given most days and not something I have to remember) and then ... I know we went for a swim oh, and I cut the grass. Other than that, I can't really remember.
Today my best bud came for a visit with her little guy and we swam and I BBQ'd for the second day in a row. I'm tellin' ya, I'm setting records all over the place. While she was her my other best bud and her man dropped in (they live 45 min away) on their way back from a gift show in Toronto so it was super cool that we got to see everyone.
Okay, here's one for you. (Edited: This came to me while writing this and WHAM, it ended up right here, leave now if insanely twisted topic changes make your head hurt)
My best friend was away last week with her family and got back on Friday night. I said to Bob that it was also like a vacation for me which is probably horrible but, there it is. I've said it out loud.
She's my best friend and she's been there through some of my deep tormenting stuff - I call it my 'holy Lord' period (blue period was taken) but lately things are getting to be too much.
Lately I am feeling drained by her and I have begun to fear her phone calls because she never just calls to see what's up anymore. It starts good, 'hey, whatcha doing? how are things?' and then it turns into 'well, since your not having company this weekend and it's going to be hot -' well, you can see where that is heading.
Or my least favourite, 'hey come on over and get out of the house (woohoo!!) Oh good, you're coming - you wouldn't happen to have 60 dollars on you? (boo!!) Could you stop and get me a pack of cigarettes? (double boo!!) Basically I'm getting the rug pulled out from under me because it sounds like she wants to visit but then there's the 'catch'. She'll even call when I haven't been over much and tell me how much she misses me so could I come over for a visit. 'Sure, I can do that.' Great! You wouldn't happen to have XYZ?
Oh shit!! Even better, I'm not asked for anything and I'm get there and we're talking a bit but she starts about how she doesn't have anything for dinner. 'Would you mind if I took you car up to ____ to get some stuff?' Uhhhhh. Sure. So now I'm feeling she needed a car.
So she called Friday night when she got home and I asked about their week and if they had fun and everything was fine until she asked what we were doing this weekend. This question should strike terror in my heart and yet, it does. I know I told her my best bud was coming up and whatever else and ended the conversation - although I know something else was on her mind because it was hard to get off the phone.
Sunday dawns and I'm sleeping but I tend to wake up at intervals and at one point I can hear her voice. Apparently she dropped in around noon asking Bob when he thought I might be getting up. She also asked what we were doing today saying that it was supposed to be a 'hot one'. Bob reminded her about 'best bud' visit and she was all 'oh yeah, 'kay'.
I should probably fess up to being what people refer to as 'the Bank of Cindy' and I'm really trying to curb this. I'm called this because Sue can basically call and ask to borrow money and I usually loan it to her. It has caused stress between us before but I'm of the philosophy that Bob and I lived a blessed life and if we have it and can spare it then it's okay. It's just, when it gets out of hand, it gets really out of hand. Not only that I'm sure that my best friend knows that I can't say no. She tells me I can say no but that's never really true because the few times I have said no, I've been asked for a reason. Uh, what?
Good God, did I say this was going to be short.
Anyways, I'm feeling crowded by her and I'm not really looking forward to the phone ringing over the next few days. The other thing is that her eldest son's friends all went away on vacation so I know there'll be the, let's just go to Aunt Cindy's for the day but then the eldest boy isn't happy being in the pool alone and bugs and bugs and bugs for someone to swim with him. Last time I swam with him for most of the time while his parents didn't bother. Uh, no. I don't call that a fun time. Especially when I have to get out to cook dinner and get asked repeatedly when I'm going back in the pool.
Okay, now I'm just being bitchy.
So the question is, do you sometimes feel hemmed in by your friends? I mean, I haven't even had a chance to do a real grocery shop since we moved!! (Remember I get up late in the day and then I've only got a couple of hours before Bob gets home and if I get the 'call' then I'm over there until Bob comes home and well - the stores close and I'm left with animal crackers (good news, I'm getting sick of them) bread and peanut butter.)
Damn, looks like I'll be ducking the phone for the next few days because I need to get some serious stuff done including some reading! In case you are wondering, I could tell her I have to go grocery shopping but then she may ask to come with and then they are the kids and she is the slowest shopper in the world. Okay, my Aunt Wendy and my Aunt Nora are the slowest in the world (considering calling Guiness about them) but I'm smart enough to never go shopping with either of these people. I'm not always so lucky with Sue. I can easily shop with Sue if I have a free day because if I need to get a ton of stuff done she'll make me want to blow my brains out.
Shit, am I still bitching? Okay, done.
On a totally different note, I want to get Cody to the vet because I think we've figured out that something is blocking his sinuses. Right now he is sound asleep and he's breathing like Darth Vadar - I'm waiting for him to say 'Luke, I am your father!'
No, my dog doesn't talk to me.
Much.
5 comments:
You are way nicer than I would be.
And yes, I have a friend who always wants to hang out, which means I have to arrange it with the Spouse, and then spend money I don't have to see her, and so I don't want to call her 'cause she'll ask about getting together, and I know she thinks I'm lame for not being able to demand more 'me' time from the Spouse, but I can't, he works all the time so I can stay home. I know. Lame. And then when I do see her, she asks all kinds of questions, and I hate answering questions about my life. Blah. Anyway, you are way nicer than me. I'd pull the phone out and conveniently forget my wallet when I was with her.
I have one friend, who always asks me for favours, and when I ask for one in return-she makes a big deal out of it and then I just get mad at her and tell her nevermind. So now I just say no. It's working! LOL
Just say no Cindy-you have it in you!
Yikes, take a step back.
It's funny, my sister is my best friend, it makes life easy. Yet, our lifestyles always seem to be opposite. She was home with her daughter when I worked and had lots of time to shop and spend, now I'm home full time and she's working and wants to do lunch and go shopping. But it's easier to say "hey, it's not in my budget" to my sister.
LOL. Did you see my best friend post? I feel your pain. Yes, sometimes it gets to be too much. No, you aren't bing a bitch. Somedays we can deal, somedays we just want to murder somebody. LOL.
Megan - one sure way to have a down and dirty fight with me is to say something about my husband. Your friend is definitely crossing a line if she is telling you that you shouldn't have to talk with your husband about going out. She can think it but saying it out loud - NO. The only time Sue and I got in a serious fight was when she decided that Bob had crossed a line with her - if she thought I was going to side with her she was greatly mistaken.
Ames - I really do have to work on my NO without feeling guilty. I'm just floored when she asks me 'why'. Uh, because. I remember she asked to borrow money (and it's normally not a small amount) and I said no. She starts with 'have I not paid you back before? Why can't you lend me the money? How about 1/2 what I asked? Okay, what if I promise ...' Basically when something like this happens I can't get out of her presence fast enough!
Tara Marie - yeah having family as best friends can be better but I bet when your sister says something negative it hurts twice as much. I've only got my younger brother and we're not best friends even though I could tell him anything and he can tell me anything.
Mailyn - heading over to read about someone else's issues with best friends. It always seems that in the summer months my friend irritates me more. Maybe I'm more grouchy in the summer.
CindyS
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