Rant Ville Population ONE

I'm definitely feeling better today although Lord knows my period is about to come and whack my ass back into perpetual bitchitude.

Bob's trying to find out how to enter the witness protection program but scary wives are not a good enough reason. Poor guy.

As to my latest rant, I just can't seem to catch a break.

In the last probably 6 weeks I have had any number of service repair people, gas fitters and now pool people in my house. In order for these people to get into my house I have to be awake and most of these people want in between the time of ohhh, crack of dawn to whenever the fuck I feel like.

Seriously.

I would love to tell my doctor, dentist, best friend whatever, that I will arrive whenever I get my plump tush out of bed. Hey, I know these people aren't just getting out of bed but, holy crapazoid, could they be more vague?

YES!

I actually stayed home all friggin' day two weeks ago which is never good because I get that 'cabin mania' thing happening (shut up, you get it too and the cats weren't too upset about the shaving cream clothes I put on them) and the guy DIDN'T SHOW! I call and they're all, 'Really? How odd. How's 54 days from today at say, some point in the absolute middle of your sleep cycle? Good?'

So, for the first time in weeks Bob and I realize that this week (the one we are now in), this blessed week would not be broken by people needing me to be awake when I'm normally deep in REM sleep.

Wait! I forgot to tell you about the guy that showed up later than 'the window' they gave me! I had stayed up all night and was literally (and yes I can use it here because like, literally!) I was seeing double but I was in that 'well beyond sleep' stage. I think I was closing in on being awake for almost 24hrs straight.

This guy shows up (he was lucky I was still trying to unwind) and well, I'm pretty much drooling but he's all about what has gone wrong in his life. I say something about, as long as you have the part and he showed up without the part! What the fuck are you doing in my house without the part? (for my washer which I had to stay awake two weeks earlier for the service guy to say - I gotta order a part) Not that I said this but, the guy felt the need to show me his little service computer that told him to show up at my house but not the reason.

GET OUT!

That's all I wanted to say and I had made it clear I hadn't slept in a bloody long time and still this guy was talking. I don't remember anything after the guy left because I hit the bed and woke a few days later. Happens. And yes, a third service call was set up for somewhere between 'getting ready for bed' and 'WTF time is it!? Nine am!? How rude!'

So, this week dawns and I'm excited. A full week of me doing as I please and sleeping whenever I want and YAHOO!

Sunday night (okay sometime Monday morning) I go to bed but can only sleep for 7 hours. This has been happening for about a week and no, I don't like it. It's okay though because I know I can probably get it back up to my normal 10 hours a day.

That's right.

I have goals.

Anyways, I get a call and realize I've been suckered.

The Pool Guys.

Did we close our pool? Hell yeah! What the hell do I need pool guys for?

Apparently they are coming into the house at 9am tomorrow (otherwise known as REM cycle 3) to move the pump, filter and crap out of the basement (where it should never have been) to the side of our house.

The only thing saving Bob's life right now is that he ordered a new gas heater for the pool so it will be toasty warm all next summer.

The man knows me well.

I hope the guys like my plaid jammies.