Why People Make Blonde Jokes

Let's break it down, shall we?

The last few weeks I have been shaving my underarms religiously and fervently. You see, I wear sleeveless tops basically all year round because hey, you get too hot you can put on more clothes. So, no biggie but every time I raise my arms near a mirror lately I would get 'holy hairy limphnodes Batman' surprise.

Remember the doc's appointment? She did that whole breast thing where they press into the breast tissue under your arm pits. I had just shaved no more than a few hours before and I get the 'Son of a bitch, do I have five o'clock shadow now that I'm older!?? Under my armpits!??'

Yeah. Tonight it occured to me that maybe the blade on the razor needs to be changed.

Thank you and goodnight!!!!

If that is not a blonde moment then it has to be a blonde three weeks because that's been about how long I've been wondering what the deal is with the armpits. Ugh.

THEN - what you thought that was it? Please, I could be here all day but I'll just do one more.

Pool Closing.

Yes, I know I've been talking about it for weeks but, MY GOD, have you ever had to vacuum a 40' pool? I mean, I could do an awesome job if I could get in the water but you have to try and get all the crap out of the bottom with first a leaf catcher thingie that I bent pulling the first load of leaves from the bottom AND THEN in complete frustration you decide to vacuum the rest of the crap up.

I got 1/2 the pool done before I lost suction for the second time but I figured Bob could pick up the slack and vacuum the rest the next morning.

This afternoon he walks in and tells me that I have clogged the line with debri from the pool and we didn't have suction anymore.

WTF!!??

This means we need to get the pipes snaked (shit, I don't know what that is but they put something in the line that churns all the crap up and voila! open lines again) and apparently these plumber snakes don't come in 200' lengths.

I suck.

Personally I think I can fix it but Bob's brain just about snapped when I gave him my list of stuff we could do to the lines to clear them. He just kept looking at me and saying 'you don't get it' meanwhile, I'm thinking, quit being a pansy and put your electrical snake up the line!! Course, it occurs to me now that if I did unblock the line I would end up with 140 000 ltr of water in our basement.

That'd be a monumental blonde moment for sure!

I'm thinking my blonde ass is lucky to be alive so I'll cool it while the professionals are called in but seriously, what are you supposed to do to get all the crap off the bottom of the pool?

All right, who's the wise acre who said to close the pool before the leaves fall!?